What's The Big Deal?

I'm not one to celebrate the changing of the calendar.

I mean, it's just a construct of some human's mind. Whether the calendar says December 31 or January 1 really makes no difference. The weather varies little from one day to the next. The sun rises and sets at roughly the same time from day to day. So what, really, is the big deal about adding another digit to the end of the date?

I don't celebrate on New Year's Eve. I don't make resolutions, although once in a great while I will set a couple of goals (that I seldom achieve). So what's the big deal?

I do wonder, however, what the year 2024 will bring to this weary, war-torn, divided and hate-filled world. Will Ukraine win the fight to maintain its freedom? Will Israel succeed in wiping the terrorist group Hamas from the face of the earth? Will humans finally wake up and start taking steps to save our planet? Will this country come together to elect a president committed to saving our democracy, preserving our constitution and working to bring the divided nation together? Or will we elect someone who seeks revenge on those whom he believes have wronged him?

So changing the month from December to January or the year from 2023 to 2024 won't make one bit of difference. We will be bombarded once more with the weight loss and 'get in shape for the new year' commercials. And that's it. How many people actually see their resolutions come true? I'd guess the percentage is extremely low. 

I remember when I was still working. Every year in early January the locker room where I changed into running clothes for my mid-day run would be packed with people. There wasn't even room to sit on the bench to put my running shoes on. I had to wait to use one of the shower stalls. But as the month wore on, the crowds diminished until soon the only women using the locker room were the same ones who had used it the year before. So much for resolutions.

It doesn't matter to me whether others make resolutions or whether they are successful in achieving them. Like so much else in this country, it's just another marketing ploy. I don't need to join a gym or sign up for a fitness program to make the effort to get into shape or drop a few pounds.

The Year In Review

This year, as are most nowadays, was a mixed bag of good and not-so-good.

I made another photography trip to Tanzania and got to share the trip with three friends I met on a previous trip. Despite the terrible drought, Tanzania did  not disappoint. We had lots of wonderful elephant sightings, and we even got to spend some time photographing my favorite big cat, the elusive leopard. This was a great trip that provided fun, lots of amazing wildlife and endless opportunities to improve my photography.

We saw so many elephants during this trip, including a lot of cute baby elephants. This bodes well for the survival of this threatened species.

I returned to Alaska on a photography trip, where we were blessed with clear weather on three successive days over Denali, the tallest mountain in North America at 20,310 feet. There was no wildlife to be seen during this trip aside from one moose along the side of a road. Well, the only wildlife found in abundance were mosquitoes -- lots and lots of mosquitoes.

I spent some time on another photography trip, to Iceland, a country I have wanted to visit for several years. Most of the time was spent photographing landscapes and many, many waterfalls. But getting to photograph some of the beautiful Icelandic horses was a real treat.

My travels were limited to only three trips this year, after the outrageous cost of airfare prompted me to cancel my Christmas-in-Rome trip. Maybe next year.

The bad thing that happened, the worst thing possible, was having to say goodbye to my beloved dog Benny. He was my heart dog, a wonderful, sweet, loving, golden retriever/corgi. He suffered from an ailment that our veterinarian could not diagnose, despite repeated x-rays and blood tests.

After Benny died, I started the search for an adoptable adult male golden. Unfortunately, adoptable goldens are almost impossible to find in my state. But a dear friend in North Carolina lived near a 16-month-old male golden in need of a better home. He was driven to me in early August. His name is Jett, and although he is no Benny, my other dog loves him. They play, chase and wrestle constantly. His leash manners need work, but we are working with a trainer on that. And he is a very sweet dog.

My daughter and grandson came to visit for Thanksgiving, and she even did all the cooking and clean-up. My dogs were not thrilled to have a very active toddler in the house.

All in all, 2023 wasn't a bad year. I remained healthy, I got to travel, and I am looking forward to a good 2024.

Elderly But Not Old

I saw a comment by someone recently that said while she is elderly, she is not old 

One term, I believe, refers to chronological age, while the second seems to apply to psychological age. So while I may be considered elderly in chronological age, I certainly do not consider myself to be old.

Physically, I am not as strong as I used to be. I gave up running, something I enjoyed for more than 30 years, a dozen or so years ago because I simply no longer had the energy to run. But I still walk 4 miles every day. I have arthritis in my hands and one elbow, but aside from vision problems unrelated to age, I am pretty healthy.

Unlike my parents and grandparents, I don't spend my days sitting on the porch or in a chair inside, doing nothing. I am a voracious reader. My Kindle is loaded with some 300 e-books. I write. I stay up to date on current events around the world, as distressing as that often is. I love to travel and I am passionate about photography. So I am not mentally old.

In the meantime, I will try to avoid the curse of dementia. I know how terrible it was to know someone who suffered from dementia. My grandmother didn't recognize her own son (my father). I refused to visit her in the facility where she lived at the end of her life. I knew she wouldn't know who I was, and seeing her in that condition would have been very painful for me. So I chose to remember her as she was in better days.

My mother died before reaching that stage of dementia, but she would 'see' my uncle when he wasn't there, and even have one-sided conversations with him.

With a history of Alzheimer's disease and dementia on both sides of my family, I am doing everything I can to stave off this horrible disease. Do I forget certain words sometimes? I admit that I do. And it worries me. But occasional forgetfulness is a common sign of aging, so I am not panicking.

Will I be successful in holding off this terrible disease? Only time will tell. In the meantime, I will keep do everything I can to keep it away.

What I Should Do

Do you know what I'm tired of?

I am tired of should and need to. I should take the dogs for a walk. I need to pick up a prescription. I need to fix my vacuum cleaner.

I have been retired for a bit more than 13 years. I no longer have to go to work, and I can avoid most appointments. But there still are far too many shoulds and need tos.

I suppose it's inevitable that as long as I live in a house and as long as I am responsible for two dogs, there will be a lot of things that I should and need to do.

This does not, however, mean that I don't dread these things. I love looking at my calendar and seeing nothing but empty spaces for each day of the week or month. 

It seems that there is always a medical appointment on my calendar. But what I should do is to look at those appointment reminders with gratitude. I am fortunate that I have affordable access to a slate of physicians skilled in the treatment of the medical issues that crop up with increasing frequency as I age. That is what I should do.

I should be more grateful for my house that protects me from summer heat and winter cold, rather than focusing on the ever-present need to repair or replace something.

I should appreciate the fact that I have ar pantry filled with food, rather than moaning about how much everything costs.

I should focus on the love my dogs bring me, on their unbridled joy whenever I return home whether I was gone for 20 minutes or 3 hours, rather than on the need to refill the water bowl or pick up their poop in the yard.

Although I don't make resolutions for the new year, I will strive to remember the good things rather on the things I should or need to do.

A Visit To Iceland

Iceland is a beautiful yet challenging country.

Wind-swept. Rocky. Often very windy.  Very often cold and blustery. Midges (small biting flies) that are particularly fond of noses, mouths, eyes and ears.  

But Iceland is beautiful. Towering waterfalls. Icebergs floating in deep glacial lakes. Turquoise water at the bottom of waterfalls. Compact, sturdy, and also tough, Icelandic horses. And sheep. Lots and lots of sheep. I guess if I lived in Iceland, I would wear a lot of wool clothing. And it appears the Icelandic people eat a lot of mutton and lamb. Hence the large number of sheep.

Iceland is a very environmentally green country, getting the majority of its energy from hydroelectric and geothermal power. It's also a very clean country. I saw almost no trash and very little graffiti, unlike most American countries.

The Icelandic language is a one-of-a-kind language. I could understand or read nothing. I did, however, recognize four words on buildings. Those words were the same as the words in Russian, but written in the Latin, not Cyrillic, alphabet.

I spent about a week visiting this far northern island earlier this year. It's a country I have wanted to visit for quite some time. But I could not wait for this trip to be over. 

I’m always looking forward to returning home and to my dogs and to my own bed at the end of a trip, I felt the call of home even more strongly this trip. I was exhausted, from getting up before sunrise to photograph sunrises, being on the go and walking over some very challenging terrain, at least for me, and then going out to shoot the sunset. I went out one night with great anticipation to seeing and learning how to photograph the northern lights. It was cold, but mercifully, not too windy. Sadly, the northern lights did not appear that night. The group went out again a few nights later. I was tired and didn’t go. And guess what? The northern lights appeared rather early, about 10:45 PM, and stayed around for about an hour. The group was back in their beds in the hotel by midnight.

On the next to last day of the trip, I got to photograph some Icelandic horses, those rather small, compact, sturdy and very hearty northern horses, the only horse breed allowed in the country of Iceland.

Despite my fatigue and disappointment, I did learn something from this trip. I learned something about photography, of course, but just as importantly, I learned that I much prefer photographing animals to photographing landscapes. 

Yes, landscapes can be beautiful. And it seems that most people would rather look at a lovely landscape than, say, a portrait of a beautiful leopard. And that's OK. I enjoy both types of photography, but my heart is really with wildlife photography.

One afternoon as we were photographing some of these horses, I stood outside, freezing in a cold wind, wearing a somewhat heavy winter coat, with a raincoat over it, and a winter hat on my head. It's difficult to operate my camera while wearing a glove on my right hand, so usually I just put a glove on my left hand and let the right hand get really cold. I was so excited to photographs these horses up close that I didn't put gloves on at all. I was cold, yes, but I will endure the cold in order to photograph a beautiful animal. I do the same thing when I go to Yellowstone National Park in the depth of winter. . 

  

I don’t make a connection with a waterfall or a beautiful scene or a canyon. I do connect on some level with the animals I photograph. Sometimes I look at these gorgeous animals, animals that many people may not consider to be gorgeous, and they just take my breath away. Sometimes I feel that way about landscapes, but the feeling is a lot more likely when I’m dealing with wildlife.

So basically what I learned is that while I am a serious photographer, sometimes even a passionate photographer, I am not a hard-core photographer as were the majority of people in my group visiting Iceland.

Part of the issue is that I am older and sometimes struggle with balance issues, which came to the fore when I was walking on steep and rocky paths to get to a waterfall. Fortunately, one of the other photographers was a true gentleman and helped me many times navigate my way down slippery slopes while carrying a heavy backpack so I didn’t fall. One of the trip leaders also did the same for me. And while I appreciated their assistance, and always thanked  them profusely, I felt bad that I needed this assistance and I felt that I was keeping them from doing what they came to Iceland to do – – take photographs.

So I have vowed to focus more on photographing animals -- mostly wildlife but also interesting domesticated animals -- and to choose my trips more carefully. 

Learning to listen to, and follow, my heart is the greatest lesson from this trip.

And So This Is Christmas

 And so this is Christmas.

Apologies to John Lennon for borrowing this line. The inspiration for this post came to me early one cold and dark morning recently as I was dropping some recyclables into the outdoor bin.

We've all heard the refrain about how Christmas is the season of love and goodwill toward others. Well, it seems the spirit of the season is sorely lacking in much of the world.

At home, a woman pregnant with a non-viable fetus was forced to flee her home state of Texas to obtain an abortion after the state supreme court forbid her from getting an abortion. Her need for an abortion was just that -- a medical need to abort a fetus that will not survive after birth and that threatens her ability to have a child in the future. I guess women aren't worthy of making their own medical decisions in the eyes of the far right wing republicans. Merry Christmas, women of America!

On the other side of the planet, Israel and Hamas are going after each other, with innocent civilians on both side paying the greatest price. Neither Jews nor Muslims celebrate Christmas, but the spirit of the season is sorely lacking in that part of the world, regardless of one's religious affiliation.

All of the traditional Christmas activities in Bethlehem have been canceled by Christian leaders in solidarity with the people of Gaza. I have visited Bethlehem. Unlike the village of some 2,000 people at the time of Christ, it is now a city with more than 28,000 residents. It is filled with shops that cater to the tourists that visit the city's Church of the Nativity. The photo shows a metal star placed above the traditional birthplace of Jesus.

In New Mexico, two teenage boys were playing with guns one night at the high school they both attended. One boy was shot and killed; his friend has been charged with manslaughter. Why teenagers were out of the house, and more importantly, why they had guns, has not yet been explained. But two families will remember this Christmas, and not in a good way, for the remainder of their lives.

The people of Ukraine continue their fight for freedom as they battle the invading forces of Russia and face the real possibility of running out of ammunition because the republicans in Congress refuse to authorize the expenditure of more funds.

In Africa, where hunger is a persistent problem, years of climate change- related drought have left tens of millions facing starvation. I witnessed the drought in February during a trip to Tanzania. Fields that should have been filled with crops were nothing but blowing dust.

I know there are good people and organizations doing good things to help, but this year, perhaps more than others, I have no Christmas spirit. My Christmas CDs remain tucked away. Christmas decorations and lights remain stored in the garage. There is no holiday baking to fill the house with wonderful smells. 

I will do nothing except make donations to 10 or so of my favorite charities and hope that things will get better. Doing something for others reminds me of the good being done to bring a bit of hope to this sad, war-torn world.

Why So Much Hate?

Why?

Why is the United States so filled with hate on university campuses? Three Palestinian students were shot recently while walking down the street and wearing traditional scarves. There have been attacks against Muslims, but the vast majority of hatred is being directed toward Jewish students. The hatred and antisemitism have increased dramatically since October 7, the day the Palestinian terror group Hamas slaughtered more than 1,200 innocent Israelis.

But it isn't the Jews who are slaughtering and kidnapping people. It isn't the Jewish people who are advocating genocide of another ethnic or religious group. The Jewish people, once again, are the victims, not the perpetrators. So why the hatred toward the Jews?

Sadly, even the presidents of Harvard University, the Massachusetts Institute of Technology and the University of Pennsylvania -- prestigious universities all -- were unable or unwilling to unequivocally condemn antisemitism on their campuses.

I am not Jewish, so I am not directly impacted by this hatred. But I have Jewish friends. And as a person with compassion, I am disgusted by these attacks on people who have absolutely nothing to do with Israel's battle with Hamas. The Israeli restaurant owner in New York City is not participating in the attacks on Gaza. The three Palestinian students shot in Detroit are not taking part in the war on Israel.

I remember that when I was in elementary school, there were two Jewish kids in my class. Miriam and Harry were like any other kids in that grade, except that they didn't take part in our classroom's annual Christmas party. I took piano lessons from Miriam's mother, Mrs. Bloom, for several years. She was a nice lady. What I remember about Mrs. Bloom was that she was always running late when it was her turn to drive Miriam, me and another girl to high school. That's it.

She was just like any other mother. And this is the point: she was just like any other mother. Miriam and her sister Debbie -- who became a talented professional violinist with the Saint Louis Symphony Orchestra -- were just like any other kids of our age. Why would I hate them? 

So what happened in the years since I was friends with a couple of Jewish girls, and today? I know the antisemitism was always there, bubbling mostly quietly under the surface. But now it is out in the open.

Some believe that the antisemitism on campuses across this country has arisen from the mistaken belief that freedom of speech -- one of our country's cornerstones -- means that every thought, every belief, must be spread far and wide. This seems to be the position of the three university presidents who recently testified before a congressional committee. To them, freedom of speech appears to mean that the university is forbidden from speaking out against hate speech.

A study by the Anti-Defamation League suggests there are three primary factors contributing to the increase in antisemitic action in recent years: intensified social and cultural tensions, the rise of radicalism on both the left and right (but I see much more radicalism among the far right), and the increase of 'echo chambers' on social media. 

The ADL study also points to the normalization of antisemitic conspiracies as another factor to the rise of antisemitic propaganda by white supremacists, which more than doubled from 2021 to 2022.

I would add that the hate-filled speech by the former US president and his support of white supremacy also have contributed to the increase. These white supremacists and so-called white nationalists and evangelicals believe that if you're not white, Protestant (and male), you are definitely 'less than' those who are.

It isn't just the United States that is being confronted by antisemitism. A far- right politician in Poland recently used a fire extinguisher to put our the flames on Menorah candles at an event attended by members of the Jewish community, claiming that Jews practice a satanic religion.

The similarities in phrasing and actions to pre-World War II Germany are striking. Remember the former president's comment about there being "very fine people on both sides" of violent protests that included antisemitic chants in in Virginia in 2017? 

I'm not a scholar or an academic. I'm simply a retiree who is embarrassed by what I see happening in my country.

Reminders

When we lose someone, whether a friend or a family member, we find reminders of that person everywhere.

My mother collected brightly painted ceramic roosters. After her death, it seemed that everywhere I went, I would see ceramic roosters. I even found some for sale during a visit to Turkey. At first, I wanted to buy a rooster for Mom. But gradually I realized that there was no need to buy a rooster for her. I simply smiled at the memory of her and her rooster collection.

Even now, whenever I use one of my mother's mismatched assortment of green mixing bowls, I think of her. I have a US Navy coffee cup that belonged to my dad. He served in the Navy during World War II.

A woman I know through Facebook posted something recently about the loss of our mutual friend. That made me realize just how many reminders of him I see every day.

Let me tell you about our friend Pete. I never met him. I never spoke to him on the phone. But he was still my friend. We shared a love of photography, animals, nature and the outdoors. He loved coffee, so when my travels took me to a country that produces coffee, I would pick up a bag of coffee beans for him. He enjoyed trying coffee from other countries. 

Pete would always donate to my online fundraisers to help African elephants. But he donated to other friends' fundraisers as well. Horses and cats were other animals Pete loved. Every year I make and sell photo wall calendars featuring photographs I have taken during my travels. Pete would always order six calendars and mail them to friends for Christmas. 

Pete has been gone nearly 3 months, but I see memories of him every day. He was usually the first to comment on or ask a question about the photos I posted. When I announced my calendar offering this autumn, I had to remind myself that Pete would no longer be ordering calendars. Another friend of Pete's stepped in and ordered six calendars as gifts. The reminder was there.

Pete was beloved by so many people, both his real-life friends and his online friends. He was upbeat, witty, kind and generous. So when we learned that he had taken his life, we were stunned and taken totally by surprise.

I miss Pete, but I am so fortunate to have known him for the brief few years we shared on this planet.  Not only do I have online reminders of my friend, but he also left much of his photography equipment to me. That really surprised me, but I am grateful and humbled that he trusted me with his lenses. A mutual friend was given his huge 150-600mm lens. 

These things -- a camera lens, a coffee cup, a ceramic rooster -- are gentle reminders of the people I have lost. While realizing that the former owners are no longer with me, I value these tangible remembrances of those whose presence I miss.

Dear CNN: I Don't Care

Dear CNN: Here is some breaking news for you.

I do not care what Oprah's favorite things are. I do not care that Taylor Swift was named Time Magazine's person of the year. I do not care that Hunter Biden is facing legal charges.

You see, I could care less what millionaires and billionaires like or recommend. I don't care that Cher has a new perfume arriving just in time for Christmas. I like Cher's music and I have seen her in concert a couple of times. But I'm not going to rush out and buy her perfume simply because it has her name on it. CNN.com has a list of the "68 best celebrity-loved products that make great Christmas gifts." And I should care exactly why?

I am happy that Hunter Biden is facing criminal charges, just as I am happy that TFG is facing 91 felony charges. Anyone who breaks the law, or who is accused or breaking the law, should be held accountable. And that includes sons of presidents as well as former presidents.

I want people, regardless of who they are or how immensely wealthy they are, to be treated the same as I would be treated under the same circumstances. I used to, many years ago, hold a very high level security clearance. I worked with very classified documents. And I know for a fact that had I, or any of my colleagues, stolen even one classified document, as evidence proves TFG did, I would have been sentenced to years in prison.

I know, I know. This isn't the way the American system of justice works. But that is how it is supposed to work. You know, that whole thing about all people being created equal and all that.

If Hunter Biden is guilty, he should face an appropriate punishment. If TFG is guilty, he should face an appropriate punishment for each crime of which he is convicted. He should not get off just because he is a former president. He should not get away with claiming executive privilege. He should not get off because he is running for office again simply to avoid punishment.

The US justice system used to be something to which the world looked up. Sadly, that is no longer true, especially when Supreme Court justices have been bought and paid for by the very wealthy. And judges at all levels are supposed to make decision based on the law, not on the political leanings of the person who appointed them. That is another practice that has fallen by the wayside.

What I do care about is people, wealthy or not, doing something to help others. I do care about people using their time, talents and money to make this world we all share a better place.

I just finished reading a 700-page biography of primatologist and environmentalist Dr. Jane Goodall, whose entire life has been spent advocating for the protection of chimpanzees. She is considered to be the world's leading expert on chimpanzees. She is best known for her decades-long study of wild chimpanzees, which she began while still a secretary in Tanzania in 1960. She went on to earn her PhD from the University of Cambridge, England.

Goodall also founded the Jane Goodall Institute, a worldwide conservation organization, and she is a United Nations Messenger of Peace. She is the author of numerous scientific papers, books and children's books. She is a

a fierce advocate for the proper and humane treatment of chimpanzees in research laboratories and in zoos. As she approaches the age of 90, she continues to spend some 300 days of every year traveling the world, spreading her message and supporting the Roots and Shoots youth programs she founded years ago.

If I am to take advice or guidance from anyone, it will be someone like Jane Goodall, not Oprah. But Goodall doesn't waste her time endorsing products for "the perfect gift." She lives a life of calm and compassion rather than seeking ever more money and fame.

Why do CNN and other media outlets reports on what she and others like her are doing to improve life on planet Earth? Why the constant fascination with so-called celebrities whose only claim to fame is that they are famous?

Bring us news about people -- celebrities as well as ordinary people -- who are devoting themselves to improving lives. Maybe such stories will inspire others to follow their lead.

Let's Start A New Holiday Tradition

I'd like to challenge my readers to perform a random act of kindness (or several) during the holiday season.

There are several holidays this time of year, including Christmas and Hanukkah, so let's work to make this world a better place by doing something nice for someone else. It can be anything: donating money. Checking on a neighbor. Volunteering. Driving an elderly neighbor to the grocery store. Dropping off cookies to someone. Petting a dog. Feeding the birds. Picking up a piece of trash in the neighborhood.

There are many things you can do that don't cost anything. A smile costs nothing. Holding a door open for someone is free. Giving someone a sincere complement can brighten someone's day.

You don't have to say what it is, but I would love to know that people are doing something nice for others during this season of giving. What do you all think?

Creating a Kinder Christmas

Nine years ago, I turned against Christmas as it is celebrated in the United States. 

I don't deny the real reason for Christmas, to celebrate the birth of Jesus Christ (although some scholars believe the birth actually happened in April, not December). But even prior to 2014, I was fed up with the constant media hype about 'the perfect gift' and commercials depicting a loving man buying his beautiful family a $70,000 Lexus for Christmas. I am fed up with seeing Christmas decorations in some stores in August. I am fed up with being bombarded by demands for money from various non-profit organizations.

I don't mail Christmas cards. I don't decorate the house.

I understand that not everybody celebrates the religious aspects of Christmas, and I have no quarrel with that. I once had a Jewish colleague at work who celebrates Christmas in its non-religious aspects. But for many people, Christmas is nothing more than an adventure in spending. And stores and online sellers would like to keep it that way. The traditional Black Friday mayhem has diminished this year, as the so-called Black Friday sales began well before the day after Thanksgiving. 

My mailbox, my e-mail, and my Facebook feed are swamped with appeals for money. Yes, I know that times are tough and the need is great, but enough is enough! I cannot donate to every worthwhile charity; I cannot save every animal in need. I cannot help fund research into every worthwhile medical issue or help feed every hungry person. I do what I can, but it seems that never is enough. The more I donate, the more frequent the appeals for still more money.

I don't want to hear radio stations playing nothing but Christmas music on November 1. I want to be able to enjoy Thanksgiving without it being just a bump in the road on the way to the over-hyped Christmas season.

I am disgusted by the whole business. I continue my tradition of not mailing Christmas cards to anybody. This year's shopping, which is very limited, was done entirely online. My daughter needed a new suitcase, so I had her pick out one online. I ordered it and it was delivered to her. I ordered toys and a dinosaur sweater for my grandson. 

I probably will shop at the Southwest Indian Foundation, which works throughout the year to provide food, shelter and heat to impoverished residents of the Navajo Nation. I will make some almond shortbread.

I love Christmas music, and I have more than 40 CDs of Christmas tunes by a wide variety of artists. I didn't listen to any of the music last year. I might put a few CDs in my car to listen to as I drive this year. 

What I really want to do is to find ways to celebrate the true meaning of this special holiday, and that does not include fighting throngs of shoppers at the mall and driving myself into a frenzy in an ill-fated attempt to find 'the perfect gift.' I will not run up massive debt buying things for people who don't need or want anything. 

This season really is about giving back to our communities, helping those not as fortunate as we are, fighting for what we are most passionate about (whether that is an endangered animal species, preservation of wilderness, fighting an injustice or feeding the hungry), and—as old-fashioned as it might appear—doing what is right. The season is about love in all its manifestations. 

Please join me in creating a new, less stressful, kinder and more meaningful version of the Christmas holiday.

A Fee For My Donation

Thank you for your $100 donation. The total amount due is $103.

It seems that these days when I make an online donation to a charity, I am asked to cover the cost of the transaction fee.

Often the fee is added to the amount of my donation automatically and I have to search for, and uncheck, the box agreeing to the fee.

I rarely agree to this additional fee. It seems to me that the charity is charging me for the privilege of giving a donation. It rubs me the wrong way.

I understand that there is a credit card fee and fees charged by third party payment processing companies, of anywhere from 3 percent to in the most recent case I encountered, nearly 5 percent. And I understand that paying these fees takes away from the amount of money that can be used to support the charity's good works.

But still, I feel as if the charity is saying "Thank you for your donation. That will cost you an additional 3 percent for the privilege of donating to us."

This just seems wrong to me, especially when the fee is automatically calculated and added to the amount of my donation. Should donors be charged an additional fee to cover the cost of the organization's computer system? Should there be a fee to cover the cost of electricity to run the computers and pay for software? How about a fee to help pay employee salaries?

In my mind, if a non-profit accepts online donations via credit cards (a few do not), then fees for accepting these donations are simply a cost of doing business. It's like paying for electricity or heat or water at the group's headquarters.

Maybe I'm old-fashioned, but I don't believe that donors should be charged a fee for their charitable donations.

A Gratitude List

Many years ago, I made a list of 100 things for which I was grateful.

As we are now coming up on Christmas, I thought I would revisit this old list and update it.

Making the original list was pretty easy at the beginning, but as the list grew longer I really had to think to come up with more things and people to add. I finally did complete the list of 100 items, and it was a good experience that forced me to really think about all the blessings in my life. 

Some people may not like the word 'blessings' due to its religious connotation, but I have yet to come up with another word that denotes the same thing.

I think doing a gratitude list of any number of items is a good exercise from time to time. It doesn't matter whether the list is five, 10, 50 or 100 items long. I believe it is the exercise itself that is of greatest importance.

My updated list is below.

Things For Which I Am Grateful (in no special order)

1. my dogs Jenny and Jett
2. close friends
3. my blue eyes
4. my photographer’s eye
5. classical music
6. smooth jazz
7. leopards
8. mountains
9. New Mexico
10. the beauty of nature
11. reading
12. my writing talent
13. fresh peaches from my yard
14. fresh strawberries
15. grilled salmon
16. books
17. time
18. golden retrievers
19. terriers
20. mutts
21. blue skies
22. Arizona’s red rocks
23. continuing to grow
24. my wonderful bed
25. abundant sunshine
26. our amazing planet
27. travel
28. the smell of a pine forest
29. air conditioning
30. fireplaces
31. fresh, crisp mountain air
32. abundance
33. freedom
34. sunflowers
35. carnations
36. low humidity
37. the high desert
38. elephants
39. wolves
40. my fruit trees
41. rediscovering myself
42.my Kindle
43. time to read

44. sunsets

45. Native American jewelry
46. this blog
47. good knees after more than 30 years of running
48. hot showers
49. my sense of humor
50. my warm house
53. being able to speak Russian
55. chocolate
56. black walnuts
57. salted cashews
58. warm chocolate chip cookies
59. my NASA career
60. outdoor showers while visiting Africa
61. warm, sunny days
62. warm clothing
63. living in Moscow for 3-1/2 months
64. soft, warm sweatshirts
65. fresh-squeezed orange juice
66. family
67. friends
68. education
69. solitude
70. abundance
71. my independent spirit
72. flannel pajamas
73. Coke Zero in a can
74. beautiful sunrises
75. making friends in other countries
77. vacations
78. my healthcare team
79. being retired
80. daisies along the highway
81. a good night’s sleep
82. waking up every morning
83. a reliable car
84. faith
85. resilience
86. healthy mind
87. healthy body
88. opportunities to develop new facets of myself
89. inner strength
90. willingness to take risks
91. hope
92. optimism
94. life’s lessons learned
95. being in control of how I feel
96. love
97. serenity
98. rainbows
99. animal rescue groups
100. forgiveness

The world is currently filled with hatred and evil that often seem to have taken over everything. Wars. Conflicts. Gun violence. Poverty. Hunger. Suffering. Crime of all sorts. Hatred.

There are many times when all the hurt and hatred in the world are overwhelming. I get so many appeals to donate to this cause or that. I cannot give to all of them, and I am unable to give enough to really make a difference. Sometimes it seems hopeless.

But I give what I can to my top 12 organizations working to make the world, or some small corner of it. a better place.

That's all I can do. And I guess that is enough.

I Hate Winter

 I hate winter… I hate winter… I really hate winter.

I see absolutely nothing good about winter. It’s dark. It’s cold. It’s dry and brown and ugly outside. It usually snows once or twice. I feel housebound. All I want to do is sit inside and eat and sleep. I have no energy or desire to do anything. I have been doing a lot of reading so far this winter. Walking the dogs separately every morning when it's below freezing is definitely not the highlight of my day.

The only positive I can see about winter is putting the weighted blanket on my bed. It supposedly helps me sleep better, but I'm not sure it does as I have sleep issues. But it is incredibly warm, which is great on cold nights.

Snow can be beautiful from a distance. The photo shows my view of the Sandia Mountains. But this is as close to snow as I want to get.

I will probably make a pot of chicken noodle soup today. I eat a lot of soup and stew during the winter, and it's nice to make it myself. Homemade food makes the house smell so good, something that packaged foods just can't do. 

Soup, hot herbal tea and hot multigrain cereal are often found on my table. But these things provide only a very brief respite from the cold. 

I can't wait for spring!

What The Season Should Be

Best Black Friday deals on holiday hosting must-haves

Editors' favorite Black Friday deals in 2023

Last chance for super deals!

The first two are just some of the numerous headlines on CNN.com, which is allegedly a news site. In reality, it is sort of a news site, but half the front page is nothing but advertisements masquerading as news.

The third is from a Kohl's department store e-mail.

Already I have seen a television commercial featuring a very expensive Lexus SUV with a big red bow on top. Really? How many people can afford one or even two fancy new cars for the family as seen in these ridiculous commercials? And with payments of "only $599/month plus tax".

And as the push for holiday spending, and the search for "the perfect gift" accelerate, I expect to be bombarded by ever more commercials, e-mails and snail mail ads. 

The older I get, the less tolerant I have become of the never-ending push to buy...buy...and buy some more. Just charge the items to your credit card, and then start paying the bill off at 30 percent interest! I just heard that a fair number of Americans is still paying off last year's holiday credit card charges.

We are such a consumption-driven society. So many in this country, even more so around the world, are struggling to get the barest necessities -- shelter, food, healthcare -- that it pains me to see so many spend so much money they can't afford (don't forget that hose credit card bills will start arriving in January) on things many of the recipients don't want and don't need.

My daughter needed a new suitcase, so during her Thanksgiving visit I had her pick the one she wanted online, and I ordered it for her. She will have it by Tuesday. She also needs a new air fryer to replace the one that broke. I also ordered one of those, and she will have it next week, as a birthday gift. Those things aren't exciting or glamorous, but they are practical and they are what she needs. She doesn't have a high-paying job, so she doesn't want or need fancy things. Instead, she wants practical things, as well as clothing for her toddler.  I am happy to help with these necessities.

So in addition to providing essentials for my daughter and grandson, I will donate to my favorite charities. Donations will likely be smaller than usual this year, due to the high cost of everything I pay for, as well as some unexpected recent household repairs.

This year, as every year, I encourage people to practice the true meaning of the season. Spread joy. Cherish family. Help others as you are able. Be kind. Be generous, if not with things or money, then with your time. Be a good person, not just now but throughout the year.  And it doesn't matter whether you celebrate Hannukah or Christmas or another festival.

Life is good, and I am happy to be able to help the less fortunate among us. Whether it is donating a bag of groceries, buying a suitcase or donating money, I enjoy helping others.

And that is what the season should be about.

A National Shame

I find it unconscionable that in 2023 America, more than 44 million people cannot afford to buy food for themselves and their families.

Food insecurity, as it is called, has been one of the causes about which most care for decades. My church in California used to have 'food barrel Sunday' collections of non-perishable food once a month. I donated through the government's Combined Federal Campaign every paycheck to the local food bank. I never miss an opportunity to donate food to any food drive of which I become aware. I donate once or twice each year to my state's largest food bank, which provides food to smaller food projects throughout the state. I also donate a couple of times each year to Meals on Wheels, which provides hot meals and companionship to the elderly in their homes.

Yesterday my city's police and fire departments collected food donations at several grocery stores in the city. When I dropped off my bag of groceries, I chatted for a couple of minutes with one of the firefighters. He said the response had been good. As I talked to him, I noticed a woman and her son of roughly 10 years old hand two cans of food to one of the firefighters. 

I buy canned goods such as soup and vegetables throughout the year when they are on sale. I do the same with boxes of cereal and packages of pasta. Then I add some of my stock of non-perishable food to the bag. 

I live in a state that is rather poor, and food insecurity is a real thing for many. One in every seven people faces hunger. One in every five children faces hunger. 

Our schools now provide free breakfast and lunch to every child, with a focus on providing locally produced and nutritious food. During summer months when schools are not in session, some school districts offer sack lunches for students. Others send children home on Friday with enough food to get them through the weekend.

This is what we need -- creative ways of ensuring that our children have enough food to grow and to learn. 

I saw a story on the national news yesterday about a 17-year-old Iowa farm girl whose parents allowed her to take 1/2 acre of their land to grow fresh produce for the local food bank. Fresh produce is always needed by food banks. This young lady crew tomatoes, green beans, peas and lettuce.

The next year she expanded her mini-farm to a full acre and added more than a dozen new crops.  She gave more than 7,000 pounds of fresh produce to nine local food banks. Next year she hopes to expand her farm to 2 acres and donate produce to a dozen groups. Others are getting on the bandwagon by donating seeds for food crops.

This is a wonderful example of what an individual can do to help ease hunger in our nation. We can't all farm a couple of acres of land, but I believe each of us can do something. If we can't donate money, maybe we can pick up an extra can of soup or vegetables when on sale. Maybe we can volunteer at a food bank. 

It continues to sadden me to realize that the United States still has so many people struggling to provide food to their families.

So I ask my readers, during this season of giving thanks and throughout the year, to please remember our less fortunate neighbors and do what you can to help.

No Place for Religion in Government

Religion should have no place in politics or in the government.

I don't care which religion, if any, people choose to follow. They are free to practice their religion privately as they wish. But there is no place for any religion in government. And a person's religious affiliation and beliefs should play no role in that person's appointment, selection or actions in office.

The United States, according to one source, is the first explicitly secular government in history. The country is supposedly a secular society, but several Republican candidates for the presidency are using religion to appeal to potential voters with promises of making their beliefs into law. The US is not, never has been, and should never be, a theocracy.

Religion may have its place in our society, but the government, at any level, is not the place. This means that religious groups should be forbidden from  trying to pass legislation that controls what others can do. If you don't believe abortion should be allowed, then don't have an abortion. But don't try to force your beliefs about abortion on others. The United States, according to one source, is the first explicitly secular government in history.

If you don't believe in birth control, then don't use birth control. But don't try to make it illegal for others.

If you don't believe in same-sex marriage, fine. Don't marry someone of the same sex as you. But you don't get to make it illegal for others to marry someone of the same sex.

Prayer has no place in our public schools. To whose god are we to pray? The Christian god? Allah? A Buddhist god (which one? There are many). A Hindu god? Which lone?

Taxpayers should not be forced to pay for vouchers that are to be used at private, religion-based schools. Not only is this practice wrong, as it supports religious institutions with tax dollars, it also hurts public schools by reducing funding that is based on the number of students attending a given public school..

This country's pseudo Christians would have a conniption if suddenly schools started allowing prayers to Allah or to the prophet Mohammed. 

The United States was not founded as a Christian country, and it remains a country free of an official religion. Those who want to live in a country where there is an official religion, and that have 'religious police' to enforce the religious rules of life, should consider moving to Pakistan, Iraq or perhaps to Saudi Arabia.

In the United States, we have the freedom to practice whichever religion we choose. We should also have freedom from religion.

I have friends who follow a variety of religions: Judaism, Islam, Buddhism, protestant and Catholic forms of Christianity, as well as no religion at all. They are not my friends because of their religious beliefs. Quite simply, I don't care which, if any religions, my friends choose to follow. We don't discuss religion. It is a personal matter, and it needs to remain a personal matter.

So the recent movement known as Christian nationalism concerns me. I repeat again, the United States is not now and never has been a Christian nation. People should not be forced to be subjugated to anyone's religious beliefs.

Attend the house of worship of your choice. Pray to the god of your choice. But you don't get to force everyone else to adhere to your religious beliefs.

It's Too Much

It's just too much.

What is too much, you ask? Everything is too much. Endless television commercials for 'moderate to severe' fill in the blank medical condition. Already the Christmas commercials have started. Cable news has wall-to-wall coverage of Israel's war with the terrorist group Hamas. Ukraine's war with Russia is yesterday's news, I guess, as it isn't mentioned at all.

There has been yet another mass shooting, this time in a quiet city in Maine that took 18 innocent lives. Appeals for money are arriving in my mailbox on a regular basis. Text messages from politicians clutter my phone, despite my being on the totally useless do-not-call list, something that politicians can use with impunity. I delete each message and block the phone number that sent it, but that doesn't stop the begging for money. And these aren't local or even state politicians, but from other states.

And now the weather is turning colder, a lot colder. I hate cold weather. I always have and I always will.

I canceled my planned trip to Rome over Christmas when the airfare would have cost more than twice the price of the all-inclusive trip. I canceled February's planned trip to Portugal because the flight schedule would have required me to pay for two additional nights, including a layover in London, where hotels are in the $300 and up range.

So I have absolutely nothing to look forward to until a trip to Yosemite in May.

Winter is supposedly a time to rest. Well, sitting home on a cold, dark winter day is not my idea of rest. I need to be doing something to exercise my mind and my body.

I hate winter. Always have. Always will.

Enough of the Disgusting Commercials

Dear people who generate television commercials. I am sick and tired of looking at people’ armpits and crotches, and hearing about butt crack deodorant.

Is there nothing that is off-limits in your insatiable drive for money money money money money? Certain things are simply too personal or too disgusting to be shown in a television commercial. 

Imagine how I felt yesterday morning as I was eating breakfast and watching the news when they went to yet another commercial break. And what did I see? A commercial for butt crack deodorant!

Even if there was no actual butt crack illustrated on television, the image is indelibly imprinted in my mind. This ranks right up there with a very graphic commercial for some sort of spray to add to a toilet bowl after somebody takes a dump so it smells better.

I hope the butt crack deodorant company goes out of business, and soon. It’s bad enough being bombarded with an incessant stream of loud, in-your- face, screaming, insipid commercials. But this is beyond anything I’ve seen. Enough already!

Losing My Spirit of Generosity

I am usually a very generous person, but I am not feeling it this year.

I’m not sure why, but I just don’t feel like donating money anywhere. I know the need is huge, and I still care about the dozen or so causes that I support. But I’m really tired of being hit up for money at every turn. I suspect I feel this way because the need is so great and the demands are so great that I feel that no matter what I do, it won’t make a difference.

I once donated $500, which is a lot for me to donate, to a local branch of a national organization that provides hot meals to the elderly. Before I knew it, I was being asked to donate another $1,500. That did not happen. And then there’s a group to which I no longer donate that in two successive years asked me to donate for either two or three consecutive months, going so far as to include a convenient remittance coupon and return envelope for each of the hoped for donations. That didn’t happen either, and I no longer support this organization.

So far this fall I have received three requests for donations from a local charity that serves the homeless. And while I may feel sorry for the large local homeless population, or as the politically correct term for homelessness is, being “unhoused”, it is not a cause that I support financially. I just don’t. And bombarding me with requests for money isn’t likely to change my feelings about this.

I know it’s just a matter of time before the note cards, calendars and address labels start cluttering my mailbox. And I really hate that nonprofit organizations waste so much donor money on these gifts that I don’t want and don’t need. In all my many years of charitable giving, I have never decided to make a donation because it sent me a calendar or a bunch of useless note cards.

I would love for someone to do a study of donors to non-profit organizations and profile donor reactions to how they are approached for still more money. Do frequent appeals work? Does hitting up those who have recently donated for still more money actually work? Does receiving an unsolicited calendar or address labels generate additional funding?

I would love to know the answers to these questions. In the meantime, I will decide how much, how often and to which charities I will donate. Nagging me for still more donations does only one thing: it irritates me and me less likely to donate.

Being a Bear

 Oh, to be a bear.

There is a reason why grizzly bears and black bears hibernate. I mean, who wouldn't enjoy stuffing one's face, packing on as many calories as possible, and then crawling into a dark, quiet cave and sleeping the winter away? 

Then, when spring arrives, they crawl out of the cave with a much thinner body, ready to start eating again. Bears to into such a deep sleep during hibernation that they won't eat or drink anything for four to six months.

And what a great way to give birth to a couple of baby bears, during hibernation, although mama bear doesn't, as commonly believed, sleep through the entire process. The mama bear is awake to give birth and to care for her cubs.

The baby bears stay very close to mama until it's time to emerge from hibernation. Then it's game on as the cubs frequently wander as they explore their big, new world.

Of course, being a bear in Alaska isn't such a good thing. Mighty hunters are allowed to slaughter hibernating bears in that state as a way to 'manage' the bear population.

I think bears have come up with a great way to survive the long, cold, dark winters. 

It Isn't Safe

In contemporary America ...

It isn't safe to go grocery shopping.

It isn't safe to attend church.

It isn't safe to go to see a movie.

It isn't safe to attend synagogue.

It isn't safe to go bowling.

It isn't safe to go to a restaurant or bar.

It isn't safe to go to the mall.

It isn't safe to go to work.

It isn't safe to go to a concert.

It isn't safe to go to the post office.

It isn't safe to go to school, whether college, high school or elementary school.

The bottom line is, it isn't safe to go anyplace. Some deranged person toting an assault-style rifle is likely to show up and start shooting random people, including children.

This folks, is the reality of life in 21st century America. 

Meanwhile, politicians bought and paid for by the NRA and the gun rights lobby offer than pathetic, useless and trite thoughts and prayers. Thoughts and prayers do nothing to ease the pain of those loved ones left behind. Thoughts and prayers do nothing to ease the physical and emotional suffering of those wounded in yet another senseless attack.

I know about the oh-so-precious Second Amendment to the US Constitution. I have heard the tired old arguments about how only "a good guy with a gun" can stop the slaughter. But strangely, a good guy with a gun never seems to be around when the slaughter starts. 

I believe nothing will stop the carnage in America. Far too many people own guns, legally or illegally, and they aren't about to surrender them. The demon has been let out of the bottle.

The thing is, other countries have people with mental illness. Other countries have people who get depressed or angry about something. But only the United States has people who have the capacity to grab an automatic rifle and mow down tons of people.

I have a friend who has guns. She knows how to use them. She takes all precautions, up to not leaving a gun in her vehicle out of fear it will be stolen and used in a crime. She is a sensible, responsible gun owner. I have no problem with her owning guns. They, and she, are a threat to no one.

Constitutional amendments were passed for a reason, but times have changed since the muzzle loaders in use when the Second Amendment was passed. Population density was much less in the 18th century.  People knew those who lived in their communities, unlike today when despite the high population density in much of the country, there is little to no sense of community.

As someone wrote on social media recently, “The rights of gun nuts to murder is more important than our right to live.” So much for our right to life, liberty and the pursuit of happiness, huh?

What's the answer? I don't know. But clearly what we are doing now is not working.

Under Attack

I feel under attack.

I'm not under attack by weapons or rampaging crowds, but by those wanting money from me. Most every day's mail delivery brings appeals for some organization’s 'annual fund drive' or some emergency somewhere in the world.

I am a pretty generous person, but this year's rampant inflation has me thinking more about my finances than I have in a long time. So I have really cut back on my charitable donations. 

I get appeals for yet more money from non-profits to which I have previously donated. I get appeals from organizations to which I have never given a dime. I get appeals from an organization to which I gave money once 20 years ago. It never stops. And it's really annoying.

Most of the time these appeals never make it inside my house. They go directly into the outdoor recycling container. 

Sometimes it seems that all these non-profits do with my donations is to print and mail still more appeals for money. One day a few years ago I received two different appeals from a single group on the same day. I haven't sent anything to that organization since then, and I never will. My generosity has a limit. I'm not going to give a $1,500 donation just because I once felt very generous and donated $500. 

I get it. Times are tough. Everything is extremely expensive. Charities are facing decreased donations and more requests for help. But hitting up donors for still more donations -- and bigger donations -- risks driving those donors away. 

I'm pretty burned out on donating. I know the need is there, but I can't give to every group that asks. There is a group of perhaps 12 charities to which I give donations, and I'm not going to add any others to my pool of charities and get repeated appeals from yet another organization. 

I wish I could give more, lots more, to my charities of choice. But the bottom line is, I simply can’t. And I really resent being hounded for more and bigger donations by the groups to which I already give. Please, don’t send me calendars or address labels or note cards that I don’t want and I won’t use. It’s a waste of donor money.

My well of compassion is about to run dry.

I Am Not A Jew

 I am not a Jew.

So that means I have no idea what it's like to live as part of thousands of years of oppression.

I have no idea what it feels like to know that large numbers of people look down on me or dislike me without knowing me, simply because of who I am, or what my last name is, or what god I worship.

Because I am not Jewish, I don't have to live with the thought that some people want me dead. My place of worship doesn't need extra security. Nobody protests against my religion.

The Nazi movement of the 1930s and 1940s -- indeed, even today -- was designed to rid the world of Jews. Hitler and his gang of misfits blamed Jews for German's defeat in World Wat I. They blamed Jews for German's crumbling economy and sky-high inflation and unemployment. And so they set about murdering some 6 million European Jews.

Sadly, neo-Nazi groups still exist, including in the United States. Supporters chanted "Jews will not replace us" at a rally in Charlottesville, Virginia, in 2017. So-called skinhead groups are proliferating in Hungary and the Czech Republic, among other countries.

I am not a Jew, but I like to think that I am a fair, open-minded person who accepts people of all religions -- and of no religion. A few years ago I spent more than a week studying the origins and conduct of the Holocaust. This trip, sponsored by Road Scholar, began in Berlin, where we visited sites integral to the foundations of the Holocaust. 

You can read about what I saw and experienced during this trip at https://redrocksandsunflowers.blogspot.com/2023/01/never-forget.html

Because I am not a Jew, it's likely that this experience had less impact on me than on other, Jewish, members of my group. This isn't to say, however, that those experiences did not have a huge impact on me. Always a history buff, that trip lit a huge flame of desire to learn more about the Holocaust, those behind it, and those who survived it.

Since that trip I have read many dozens of books -- some historical, some autobiographical, some biographical, and some historical fiction -- about this dark time. I am trying to understand.

Still, I am not a Jew, so I cannot begin to comprehend the disbelief, the anger, the fear and the abject terror still felt by all Jews everywhere, but particularly those directly impacted by the recent slaughter in Israel.

I have some Jewish friends, and I have struggled, and continue to struggle, to find the right words to say to them. "I'm so sorry" seems empty and void. But I have trouble sleeping as I think about the horrors that were perpetrated on innocent Israelis. I think about all the hostages and I wonder if they, too, have been slaughtered. 

I don't know what to say, so I share memes and graphics on my social media page in a pathetic attempt to offer support. That is not enough, but is there anything that is enough?

I am not a Jew, so all I can do is to be there for my Jewish friends and to be supportive. But what does that really mean? These friends live in other states, so I can't give them a hug or share a cup of coffee with them.

I can call out those who spew antisemitic hatred. Fortunately, I have no friends who are obviously antisemitic. 

I am not a Jew, but I support my Jewish friends who are hurting and angry. I, too, am angry that a people simply seeking to live in peace and worship their god as they choose have been marginalized, brutalized and slaughtered for millennia.

I am not a Jew by ethnicity or by religion, but in reality, we all must be Jews.

We Must Do Better

 The world has gone mad.

Palestinian terrorist group Hamas has conducted an ongoing, completely unpredicted and unwarranted attack on the state of Israel, taking hostages including women, children and the elderly, and firing more than 2,000 rockets into Israel in the early days of the assault. More than 1,300 Israelis were killed, thousands wounded. Palestinian fatalities number in the thousands as well. Now the terrorists are reportedly beheading infants previously taken hostage. A humanitarian crisis is unfolding in Gaza after Israel cut off supplies of food, water and fuel to the population, not all of whom support Hamas.

Putin‘s war on Ukraine continues, with the most recent attacks being not on military installations, but on a small Ukrainian grocery store and coffee shop.

The US currently has no ambassador to Israel because some Republican senator decided to block all appointments. Some 300 military promotions are being held up because another nut-job senator doesn't like the fact that female members of the military can get time off their jobs to get an abortion.

The former president of the United States is suspected of giving Israeli military secrets to the Russians, and bragging about it. The Russians are believed to have given it to Iran, a country that is a major supporter of Hamas. This same former president gave highly classified information about the capabilities of America's nuclear submarine fleet to an Australian, who shared it with 45 other people. Why he has not been charged with treason is beyond me. Executive privilege, which he constantly claims protects him from all variety of crimes with which he has been charged, does not apply to treason.

The leading candidate to become speaker of the House of Representatives an antisemitic, KKK-supporting ultraconservative, has withdrawn from the race. Without a speaker, the House, and therefore the entire Congress, is unable to pass any legislation. Aid to Ukraine and to Israel, as well as funding to keep the US government operating, are going nowhere without a functioning House.

So that's the state of the US government, which will cease operation unless Congress gets its act together and passes the legislation required to fund the government in the next 35 or so days.

This is what this nation has become. States banning books. States busing illegal immigrants to northern so-called 'sanctuary cities,' overwhelming those cities' ability to care for the huge influx of people arriving with nothing.

The bottom line is, the Republicans are unable to govern even their own party, much less the nation. Apparently there are no moderate, not-insane, non-MAGAt members of the party. It is time to either vote the radicals out of office, or for the moderates (if there are any) to take control of the party.

All of these things -- Ukraine, Israel, Congress -- have left me feeling incredibly stressed. My sleep is restless. I have trouble falling asleep even after taking a prescription sleeping pill. My temper is short. My tolerance for delays and ineptness is non-existent.

We are supposed to be the beacon of freedom, of second chances, of promises. Right now, we are none of these things. Our borders last year were inundated by 3 million illegal immigrants, with some 9,000 more crossing every day. We are unable to provide necessary assistance to Ukraine and Israel as they fight for their very existence. Gaza, a densely populated area adjoining Israel, is facing a huge humanitarian crisis without food, clean water and fuel. The people of Gaza -- Palestinians -- are victims of Hamas control and brutality. Half of the population is younger than 15 years old.

We can do better. We must do better.

Out of Sorts

 I have felt out of sorts lately, and I'm not sure why.

The weather is about the only thing that is good at this time, with sunny skies, no wind to speak of, and daytime temperatures in the upper 70s (nighttime temps are in the 40s). 

First, my freezer stopped freezing and the refrigerator wasn't very cool. I was able to get a repair man to the house who quickly diagnosed the problem. For $625, he fixed the problem.

The recent Republican debacle in the US House of Representatives, which saw a small group of ultra-right wing nutcases oust the speaker of the House with no replacement lined up, sent the government into a tail spin. Let's not forget that the US government is currently operating under a continuing resolution that funds the government for just more than 40 days.

Our southern border is being inundated by illegal immigrants to the tune of some 3 million last year. Recent days have seen 9:300 illegals literally running across the border each day. Our cities simply cannot handle this huge influx of migrants. They do not have the resources -- money, rooms, medical care, food or anything else -- to accommodate these people.

Some 1.3 million Afghan refugees in Pakistan have been told to leave the country by the end of the month. 

Gun violence continues to take nearly 50,000 lives in the US each year.

Prices are through the roof. An item I bought last October for $4.99 and in January for $7.99 is now $21.99. Talk about inflation!

Businesses continue to suffer because of a shortage of workers. There is a shortage of nurses. There is a shortage of school bus drivers. There is a shortage of other bus drivers. There’s a shortage of teachers. There’s a shortage of doctors. There’s a shortage of retail workers. There’s a shortage of restaurant workers. What I don’t understand is, why? 

Russia's war on Ukraine drags on amid reports that support for providing weapons to the Ukrainian army is beginning to waiver in some European countries and among the far-right faction in the US. Anyone who believes that Putin will be satisfied with conquering only Ukraine is badly mistaken, just as appeasing Hitler in the late 1930s did not stop his megalomanic drive for more and more territory.

And of course, there is nothing I can do about any of these situations except to limit my exposure to news reports. That is difficult for me to do, as I spent my career working with members of the news media. I am, to put it bluntly, a news junkie. A local friend has told me that she, too, is feeling out of sorts for no clear reason.

But for today, I am going too try to enjoy the beautiful weather and the opening day of the 51st Albuquerque International Balloon Fiesta.

How Can I Help?

How can I help? 

That’s the question that came to mind early Sunday morning. What can I, an elderly retired woman, do to make a difference in this screwed up world?

I think finding the answer, or at least an answer, to that question would go a long way toward helping me figure out my purpose in this world.

There are so many areas where help is desperately needed. I donate to our local food bank, and to Meals on Wheels, and to food drives a couple of times a year. I fund an annual scholarship so a deserving yet impoverished female student in Kenya can attend high school, and hopefully find a career that will lift her and her family out of poverty. I have adopted 15 throw-away dogs during my life, as well as a lovely Russian girl from an orphanage in Russia.

But these things, while they make me feel good, seem insufficient in light of the pressing needs of the world.

I know that I don't have the financial resources or the fame to tackle huge issues. I'm not a brilliant scientist seeking the cure to an illness. I don't have billions, or even millions, of dollars to give away in pursuit of an altruistic goal. I'm not a famous celebrity who can put out the call to donate to a certain cause.

I used to volunteer with a couple of local non-profits, but I stopped several years ago when I began to feel unappreciated and taken advantage of. Since then, I haven't found a charity that really calls to me.

So what can I do?

Are you facing this dilemma? How do you deal with these feelings?

World Gratitude Day

There is a lot in this world that is sad, disappointing, horrifying even.

There is international war. There is escalating gun violence and other violent crime in this country. There is a Congress hell-bent on either destroying this country or turning it into 'Christian', fascist state. There are millions of people around the world suffering from starvation, flooding and other natural disasters.

But today, World Gratitude Day, I want to focus on things that make me smile, that make me happy. Things for which I am grateful.

The joyfulness of my dogs, ages 1-1/2 years and 2-1/2 years, often makes me smile. They love to play, to wrestle, to chase each other.

Looking at some of my photographs can make me smile and bring back precise memories of when and where they were taken. Not just the memories and the images, but realizing that I did a good job of capturing the scene, makes me happy.

Walking outside on a crisp autumn morning, with no wind, no traffic and no noise, under a blue sky, makes me happy.

Looking at photos of some of the stunning places I have visited reminds me to be grateful for the opportunity to travel, to see places I have always wanted to see and to meet people from many other cultures.

There is beauty in this world. There is kindness. There are some good people doing their best to make this world a better place.

Let's be grateful for the good things and good people in our lives.

Note: World Gratitude Day was September 21, when I started writing this post, although I didn't get it posted until today.

The Not-So-Friendly Skies

 Air travel sucks.

Sorry to be so blunt, but it does,

What used to be a fairly reliable means of transportation is  now a disaster waiting to happen. I started writing this post on a flight from Detroit to Salt Lake City that was some 2 hours late. The culprit this time was bad weather in the New York area. But there wasn’t another airplane available to use to get my flight on its way. It's hard to believe there wasn't a single available airplane at the Detroit airport. And as bad as it was for those of us waiting for an airplane to arrive, it was even worse for the people in New York who were stuck, on the airplane, as it sat on the tarmac for 2-1/2 hours.

No one can control the weather, but American airlines have a dismal track record of responding to a variety of issues, from insufficient staffing to computer system failures to pile-ups of thousands of pieces of passenger luggage.

Depending on how far in advance I make my flight reservations, I can expect to see as many as five schedule changes. One woman's flights changed 13 times, according to the travel agent we both used to book our group's flights to Tanzania.

Trying to reach an airline representative by phone can result in a wait time of two to five hours.

In-flight service is another area in which airlines are sorely lacking. On a recent early morning business class flight, we were offered bags of potato chips in lieu of something more appropriate for breakfast.

Clearly the airlines have major problems. For the prices they charge ($11,000 for a business class ticket to southern Africa for which I have paid roughly $5,000 for several years), their level of service should be significantly higher.. Rather than spend $11,000 with a US carrier — something I would never do — my travel agent suggested I fly on Qatar Airlines at roughly half the cost. That trip will be next year, connecting in Doha.

Why are there now so many connections in what should be straightforward trips? And why should I have to fly to Los Angeles to get to Charlotte, North Carolina, on the opposite side of the country?

I had a 9-hour layover in Minneapolis on a recent trip to Iceland, and a7-hour layover (it turned out to be closer to 10 hours) on the return trip that had me going to Detroit, then to Salt Lake City, and finally to Albuquerque.

I canceled a planned trip to Portugal because getting there on time to meet my group would have required me to arrive a day early (an extra hotel night to pay for), and an overnight (another hotel stay) in London. It simply wasn't worth the hassle.

I don't know how much more international travel I will do in the future, aside from trips to Africa. The cost in money, time and stress simply isn't worth it.

Why?

Why? 

That’s the question to which I keep returning. That is the question that continues to haunt me.

A Facebook friend of several years took his own life last Friday after making a rather enigmatic post. In hindsight, we now understand what he was saying. But at the time, it just seemed a bit different than his usual upbeat and witty posts.

None of us, neither his Facebook friends nor his real life friends, knew that he was struggling. So the question becomes why? Why did he not confide in someone? Why did he not reach out for help? Why did he decide that this was the only way to escape the pain and hopelessness he was obviously feeling? I know this person had dozens of friends who would gladly have done anything they could to help him find the help he needed.  

But I suppose why is the question people always ask following a suicide.

We want to know why so we can better understand what drove this person to take his own life. We want to know why so we can hopefully be more aware of any signs of depression or hopelessness that might arise in other friends or family members. 

I suppose we will never know the why in this case. How could a person with so many friends, so beloved by so many people, a person so incredibly kind and generous, simply find a peaceful place and decide that that would be the place where he would end his life.

Why is the question that haunts us.

If you are having suicidal thoughts, or know someone who may be considering suicide, please reach out to a friend, your physician or to the Suicide and Crisis Lifeline. Just dial 988.

Live Like Pete

Yesterday I learned of the death by suicide of a long-time Facebook friend.

He was one of those people who always seemed upbeat. He had a great sense of humor and a wonderful sense of adventure. He loved to explore the trails and roads in the place he lived in Ohio. He was out bicycling long distances or hiking on the trails in the area where he lived, seemingly every day. He had a large group of cycling buddies. I recently wondered to myself how he found the energy to be so active. 

His death caught all of his Facebook friends and his local friends totally by surprise. He always seemed so happy and full of life. It appears that even his closest friends were unaware of the great emotional pain with which he was dealing.

I know that the isolation of the pandemic and the death of his beloved Scooter cat took a real toll on him. And I learned just yesterday that he was being forced to move out of the apartment in which he had happily lived for many years. I don’t know the story behind that, but it appears that after he lost his fight to stay in his apartment, he also lost the fight to continue living.

Pete and I shared a great love of photography and of the great outdoors. He always had something nice to say about the images I shared. I am a dog lover, and I cannot have cats because of my allergies. Pete was a great lover of cats. Scooter went with him on his out of town trips, and he frequently posted photos of her sitting in her royal bed and looking out the window of his hotel room.

He was a kind and thoughtful man, and made friends wherever he went. When one of my dogs died a few years ago, he sent me a condolence card with a photo of Bailey with her name written on it in gold ink. I still carry that small photo with me wherever I go.

Other people have said that in hindsight he didn’t seem himself lately, and he left some very subtle hints that all was not well with him. The thing I noticed was that after my beloved dog Benny died, I got condolences from Pete on Facebook, but no card or photo. I wasn’t expecting anything, but it seems strange in light of his previous kindness to me after the loss of my other dogs.

I am still struggling to come to grips with the loss of this wonderful man. But I have decided that I will try harder to live like Pete. I will find joy in exercise and in being outdoors. I will try to be kinder and more supportive as Pete was. And I hope that any of my friends, whether personal friends or Facebook friends, will reach out to me or to someone else when their emotional pain gets to be overwhelming.

Rest well, Pete, and enjoy your reunion with your beloved Scooter.