Why?

Why? 

That’s the question to which I keep returning. That is the question that continues to haunt me.

A Facebook friend of several years took his own life last Friday after making a rather enigmatic post. In hindsight, we now understand what he was saying. But at the time, it just seemed a bit different than his usual upbeat and witty posts.

None of us, neither his Facebook friends nor his real life friends, knew that he was struggling. So the question becomes why? Why did he not confide in someone? Why did he not reach out for help? Why did he decide that this was the only way to escape the pain and hopelessness he was obviously feeling? I know this person had dozens of friends who would gladly have done anything they could to help him find the help he needed.  

But I suppose why is the question people always ask following a suicide.

We want to know why so we can better understand what drove this person to take his own life. We want to know why so we can hopefully be more aware of any signs of depression or hopelessness that might arise in other friends or family members. 

I suppose we will never know the why in this case. How could a person with so many friends, so beloved by so many people, a person so incredibly kind and generous, simply find a peaceful place and decide that that would be the place where he would end his life.

Why is the question that haunts us.

If you are having suicidal thoughts, or know someone who may be considering suicide, please reach out to a friend, your physician or to the Suicide and Crisis Lifeline. Just dial 988.