I Hate the Telephone

I am an introvert, and I detest the telephone.

I simply hate the telephone. It doesn't matter whether it's a land line (yes, I still have one of those for my home security system) or a cell phone. I hate hearing an incoming call.

Incoming calls are more than likely from a politician, a charity, a telemarketer or a spammer. All of these are simply trying to get money from me. Being on the federal 'do not call list' does nothing to stop the calls.

I have lost track of how many calls I have received from somebody calling about a warranty for my car. I have been tempted to ask whether the person is calling about my 2013 car (whose warranty has long expired, a car I no longer own) or about my 2019 car (which still has more than 2 years left on its warranty). Often the call is a recording, but if it is a live person, I simply tell the caller to F--K OFF! and end the call. It is rare that I answer a call from an unknown number, but recently I was dealing with some medical offices whose numbers I didn't recognize, so I answered the calls. 

Phone calls are intrusive. They are disruptive. They interrupt whatever I was doing, whether it was reading or watching television or enjoying a walk outside on a beautiful day. And there is always the expectation that I should answer the phone. It's not as if I disrespect the caller, or that I dislike the caller if he/she is a friend or family member. 

Many/most introverts don't like small talk. I used to work for a guy who was amazing at small talk. He could meet someone and a few minutes later one would think they had known each other for years. Not me. I hate small talk, and I'm really not good at it. This is one reason I don't go to parties. Not engaging in small talk can make introverts seem brusque, but we aren't trying to be rude. We're simply not good at small talk.

The other thing I dislike about phone calls is the lack of a way to gracefully, and graciously, end the call. Sometimes I really do need to end the call and attend to something else. Sometimes the caller needs end the call for a legitimate reason. But too often the conversation becomes repetitive or just needs to be ended.

And as much as I hate incoming calls, I detest making calls to anyone for any reason. If I am researching something online with the goal of making a purchase, and I have to call in order to place an order or ask a question -- I won't. I will find a company that allows me to make a purchase online without calling. Making a call obligates me to talk to a stranger or to a friend for who knows how long. I have one friend who is very extroverted and loves to talk. Our longest call lasted 3 hours! She is a wonderful friend, but I really don't want to be on the phone for 3 hours.

I also hate playing phone tag. Making one necessary call is bad enough, but I won't call, leave a message, miss the return call, and call again.

My hobbies are reading, writing and nature photography -- things that are solitary and devoid of small talk and mindless chit chat. Yes, I take group trips to a variety of places to take photographs, but the group always spreads out, with each photographer staking out his/her own place from which to shoot. Small talk is minimal. I always get a private room so I can decompress alone after a day of togetherness. Photo editing also is a solitary pursuit. 

And while I may enjoy getting together with a friend for lunch (pre-pandemic), I usually initiate the invitation by e-mail.

I'm not a hermit. I call my sister, or she calls me, every couple of weeks. My daughter calls from time to time. I talk to another friend when she calls (but I rarely call her unless it's her birthday or to check up on her).  

I carry my cell phone with me when I go for a walk, and when I walk my dogs, in case of emergency. I don't carry it because I simply can't be without it. Going for a solitary walk is good for my soul. I don't want an uninvited phone call to ruin it.