Stop Singling Out Adopted Children

 I read an online story recently about the horrendous fires, devastation and loss of life on the Hawaiian island of Maui.

Actually, I have read numerous stories about the fires on Maui. But one really hit me hard, and not in a good way. 

The article was about an almost-15year-old boy who died in his family‘s home, sitting in his bedroom and clutching his beloved dog. His name was Kenyero Fuentes. As a dog lover myself, I can’t imagine what this young boy went through, waiting for rescue and trying to save his dog.

But what bothered me most about the article was the emphasis on the fact that this teenager was adopted. Who cares if he was adopted? His family loved him, and that’s what matters. His family is grieving his loss. And that’s what matters. The fact that this boy was adopted is totally irrelevant to the story. A young life was lost in a tragic way. Whether he was the birth child of the family or the adopted child of the family doesn’t make any difference. This was blatant sensationalism in my opinion.

This is an extremely sensitive topic for me as the mother of an adopted child. When I talk about her, I don’t refer to her as my adopted daughter unless there’s a really good reason to do so. She is my daughter. I am her mother. Someone even asked her once why I didn’t adopt a child from America rather than from Russia, the country where my daughter was born.

Again I ask, what difference does it make where I adopted my daughter? She needed a home after growing up in a very dysfunctional and abusive family in Siberia. Shortly after we met in the US, we both knew that we were meant to be a family. I hadn’t even planned to adopt a child, as I was older and settled in my life in California. But fate had other ideas.

My daughter is now almost 30 years old. She has a beautiful son, my first grandchild. And frankly, I don’t care that she was born in Russia. It makes no difference.

Adopted people can be just as successful and as loved as birth children. Do people point out that Simone Biles, the worlds greatest gymnast, was adopted? How about Steve Jobs, cofounder of Apple computer? How about former President Gerald Ford? He was adopted. How about former first lady Eleanor Roosevelt, also adopted.

I just wish people would show some respect for adoptive families and their adopted children. Stop treating them as if they are some oddity or that they are less than birth children.