Benny is home.
I had to have my beloved dog Benny euthanized last week due to health issues that were getting worse. Today I got a call from the veterinary hospital telling me that his remains were available for me to pick up.
Every time I go through this, I find that bringing my dog home for the final time is such a gut-wrenching experience. It’s a punch in the gut. On the one hand, I’m glad to know that my dog is back home where he belongs. He will be with me for the rest of my life. On the other hand, bringing him home in an urn, and knowing that all that remains of him are his ashes, is like a kick to the stomach. And right now, the latter feeling is much stronger than the first.
I know that his spirit is still with me. I know it will always be with me. But I miss his physical presence.
I miss seeing him running across the yard on his short little legs when I raised my arms to the sky. When he sees that, he takes off running and often puts his front feet on my thighs. That was his expression of love.
I had some prints made of my favorite photos of Benny to display in my office. I think of him every single day. But seeing that blue urn with his name on it in gold lettering is heartbreaking. It brings home the depth of my loss.
I’m glad he his home, and I know the terrible heartache will diminish over time. He is home where he belongs.
I will love you forever, Benny Boo.
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