I Just Don't Care Any More

 It's getting harder and harder to care.

This never-ending pandemic has taken away the two things that keep me motivated and active: travel and photography. After nearly 9 months of sitting at home, with nothing but the weekly trip to the grocery store to look forward to, I have lost my motivation. I still manage to get out for a daily walk or two. I still walk my dogs every morning. But I could care less about keeping a dust-free house or wearing earrings or dressing in anything but jeans and a sweatshirt. Those things just don't matter. Today is just like yesterday is just like the day before that is just like the day before that.

I have done a good job of staying busy, with reading and with editing my digital photos. I have entered several photography contests. I am continuing, albeit slowly, to learn Lightroom. But my brain is gradually turning to mush. I am bored with endless reading. I need to stay engaged, to visit new places, to meet new people and to learn new things. That is now impossible, thanks to the millions of American idiots who refuse to social distance and to wear a mask. 

I realize that being asked to wear a mask and to stay away from bars and other crowded places is a real hardship. It's a terrible sacrifice people are being asked to make for the health of others. I mean, how can people be expected to stay away from parties and bars? That must be unconstitutional or something, right?

Nearly 250,000 Americans have lost their lives to Covid-19. Countless others will suffer long-term effects of the virus -- heart problems, breathing problems, mental impairment -- even if they are lucky enough to avoid death. Health care workers are at the breaking point. Hospitals have run out of beds. There are so many dead bodies in El Paso, Texas, that the city has brought in several refrigerated trucks to hold the bodies. Restaurants and other non-essential businesses are struggling to stay afloat. Some 100,000 businesses have so far failed due to the pandemic. Millions have lost their jobs. Congress repeatedly has failed to come up with a second relief package for struggling Americans and small businesses. Why? Because partisan politics is so much more important than helping Americans.

If I seem angry, it's because I am. I am furious. I'm angry with the members of both parties for their refusal to do anything to help. I am furious with the so-called president who is angry and depressed that he lost his bid for reelection, and who now is having a temper tantrum, doing nothing but holding super-spreader rallies, tweeting endless nonsense and playing  golf. But most of all, I am angry and disgusted by everyone who refuses to do the small things that could help this country get control of this pandemic.

I never knew that Americans are either a) incredibly stupid or b) incredibly selfish. While many of us do the right thing -- stay home, socially isolate, wear a face mask -- nothing is going to change until everybody does the right thing. 

I will continue to do the right thing because I am part of society and I don't want to unknowingly spread the virus. And I don't want to get sick with the virus, either.

But  as this pandemic drags on, it gets harder and harder to care ... about anything. In particular, I don't care whether those who ignore public health orders get sick with Covid-19. I do care that their carelessness puts healthcare workers and innocent people at risk. But if the cult followers get sick, oh well.