A Glimmer of Hope

The days of the United States appearing like a third world country are, I hope, coming to an end.

Think about it. This country, once the envy of the world and the greatest, most powerful country on earth, is now a third world country that was on the verge of becoming an autocracy.

Our hospitals, overflowing with Covid patients, have few or no available beds in the intensive care units. Our healthcare workers lack sufficient protective equipment. There are so many dead bodies in El Paso that first prisoners, and then the National Guard, were brought in to move them into portable refrigerated trucks. Grocery shelves are empty or nearly so (not all items, but many). There are long lines outside grocery stores of people waiting to get inside for shopping. There are lines of vehicles that go on for several miles with people waiting to get a box of food from a food bank. The outgoing president* finally accepted defeat and allowed the transition to the incoming administration to begin. (We learned that the transition will finally begin, more than 2 weeks after the election was decided). The outgoing president* called Michigan officials to the White House to try to pressure them into opposing certification of the election, which Joe Biden won by more than 154.000 votes. He continues to insist that he won the election.

These are the markings of a third world country. What the outgoing administration has done to this country, its reputation and its citizens is criminal. And I hope the administration officials responsible will be held accountable. Already we are told that the attorney general of the state of New York has 67 criminal complaints ready to be unsealed on Jan. 21, 2021, when the Biden administration takes over. And those convicted of any of those state charges cannot be pardoned.

Let us hope that justice will be served and that the criminals who ran the American government for the past 4 years, who personally benefited from their corrupt actions and who used the power of the American government to enrich and reward themselves and their relatives, will be brought to justice. This group of criminals gave massive tax breaks to the most wealthy Americans. It gave money meant to help struggling businesses and individuals to huge corporations and billionaires. It wanted to take healthcare away from 20 million people ... in the middle of a pandemic. It wanted to, and planned to, destroy Social Security, Medicare and Medicaid, programs on which millions rely and into which workers are forced to pay from every paycheck. This administration has gutted environmental protection measures, opened sensitive areas in the Arctic to oil drilling, allowed the shooting of mother bears and their cubs and wolves and their pups, in their dens, and again allowed the polluting of our air and water.

Already leaders of other countries are calling to congratulate the incoming president. Already the prime minister of New Zealand -- a country that has done an outstanding job of keeping deaths and infections from the coronavirus at a very low level -- has called to offer her country's support. Already the incoming president has named capable, experienced, qualified individuals to his cabinet. Already cabinet nominees represent the diversity of America, rather than being yet more old, white men.

Biden and Harris and the entire administration will have a lot of work to do to start repairing the damage inflicted on this country during the past 4 years. The country remains deeply divided. But for the first time in 4 years, I and many others are hopeful. We can breathe a sigh of relief. We can look forward to, as one pundit said, 4 years of boredom.

 

Restless and Confused

These are confusing times for nearly all of us.

For example, the more I stay home, the more I want to stay at home. But not really.

I am tired of staying home. I am restless. I'm starting to get bored. I miss my travel and my photography. I am an introvert by nature, so staying home because of the pandemic isn't much of an adjustment for me. But I long to be able to do the little things I used to do before the pandemic. I want to be able to get into my car and drive to the grocery store, where I can shop at leisure without wearing a mask. I want to be able to visit someplace without fear of contracting a potentially deadly disease. I want to be able to meet a friend for lunch at a local restaurant. I want to be able to visit the places I had planned to visit this year. I certainly understand and accept the reasons for the stay-at-home orders. I'm just tired of staying at home.

But there also are times when I find myself not wanting to go someplace I need to go. Why is this? I sometimes talk myself out of ordering a meal online and picking it up at a local restaurant's drive-through. I delay trips to the grocery store. It isn't fear of the coronavirus that stops me. I take all precautions when I do venture out. I guess it's apathy. Or maybe it's inertia. Lethargy? Or maybe it's surrender to forces over which I have no control. Maybe it's giving in to the realization that this invisible virus has far greater power than I do, than any of us does.

I don't sit home in my pajamas all day (not with two dogs who expect their early morning walk every day). I don't watch endless hours of television while stuffing my face with chocolates. I engage in a variety of activities: walking, reading, writing, watching television, making photo calendars to raise funds for charity, cooking and housework. I go out to look for interesting things to photograph. I check on single friends. I walk on average one mile more every day than I did before the pandemic hit, for a daily total of 4 miles. Some days I walk 5 miles. Still, I sometimes feel a need to pace or to walk around my yard for a few minutes. The weather is still mostly nice, so being outside even for a few minutes is enjoyable.

I think the word that best describes how I feel is 'restless.' I definitely feel restless. It's hard to sit still, hard to concentrate on reading. The dictionary says that anxiety or boredom can cause a feeling of restlessness. I think that's it. I am a bit anxious (and who isn't these days?) and bored, irritable at times, and frustrated. According to psychologists, these reactions are normal for people in our current, ongoing, never-before-experienced situation. We have no control over this virus, or over much of anything. Our world is topsy-turvy. We can't go to work. We can't hang out with friends. We can't travel. Everything is upside down, and we're not sure how to respond. We are in survival mode.

What we can do is follow the health department guidelines: stay at home as much as possible. Avoid large groups of people. Wash our hands frequently. Wear a mask when in public. We can control our behavior. We can control our reactions to this situation. We can use our time to learn a new skill, or to catch up on reading. And that's about all we can control.

Now it's time to confront things head on, starting with a walk. It's time to work out that restlessness with some physical exercise and more reading. Recently I read a book about a 67-year-old grandmother of 23 who walked the entire Appalachian Trail in a pair of Keds and with a homemade sack over her shoulder. Now she sounds like a person who was restless!

So yeah, things definitely are challenging. And if I feel restless, I can walk around my beautiful back yard or go for a longer walk in the neighborhood. Restlessness isn't so bad. I, and everybody else, will get through this. 

Small Joys

This is a tough time of year.

In addition to the pandemic that continues to worsen every day, the days are growing shorter as the season moves toward winter. For those of us who need lots of sunshine, it can be difficult to keep spirits up with limited hours of daylight. I'm sitting at my desk looking out on a dark yard, but with a lightening sky over Albuquerque. Then it dawned on me (no pun intended) as I enjoy a cup of hot tea: There are some small joys to be had today.

First, I enjoyed being comfortable and warm beneath flannel sheets and a weighted blanket despite a chronic inability to sleep. I took a few minutes before getting up, to savor my comfortable mattress and warm sheets and blankets. Then I got to indulge in a cup of hot tea, this one bringing back memories of a visit to Highclere Castle, aka Downton Abbey. Although the sky is mostly cloudy, orange-tinted clouds are visible at the top of one section of the mountain. Winters in particular share some amazing sunrises with those of us fortunate to live here. Then I got an order for a photo wall calendar, something I make and sell to raise money for a couple of charities. I love sharing my photography with people. 

Thanksgiving is a few days away, and I have no idea what dinner will be. I have searched the grocery store for a frozen turkey roast, without success. I haven't bought one for a few years, so perhaps they are no longer available.

It doesn't really matter what I cook. I will fix something that will fill my stomach. I will go for a walk or two. I will take a nap. I will be grateful for all that I have and try to ignore the things I am missing.

What else do I need?

 

I Just Don't Care Any More

 It's getting harder and harder to care.

This never-ending pandemic has taken away the two things that keep me motivated and active: travel and photography. After nearly 9 months of sitting at home, with nothing but the weekly trip to the grocery store to look forward to, I have lost my motivation. I still manage to get out for a daily walk or two. I still walk my dogs every morning. But I could care less about keeping a dust-free house or wearing earrings or dressing in anything but jeans and a sweatshirt. Those things just don't matter. Today is just like yesterday is just like the day before that is just like the day before that.

I have done a good job of staying busy, with reading and with editing my digital photos. I have entered several photography contests. I am continuing, albeit slowly, to learn Lightroom. But my brain is gradually turning to mush. I am bored with endless reading. I need to stay engaged, to visit new places, to meet new people and to learn new things. That is now impossible, thanks to the millions of American idiots who refuse to social distance and to wear a mask. 

I realize that being asked to wear a mask and to stay away from bars and other crowded places is a real hardship. It's a terrible sacrifice people are being asked to make for the health of others. I mean, how can people be expected to stay away from parties and bars? That must be unconstitutional or something, right?

Nearly 250,000 Americans have lost their lives to Covid-19. Countless others will suffer long-term effects of the virus -- heart problems, breathing problems, mental impairment -- even if they are lucky enough to avoid death. Health care workers are at the breaking point. Hospitals have run out of beds. There are so many dead bodies in El Paso, Texas, that the city has brought in several refrigerated trucks to hold the bodies. Restaurants and other non-essential businesses are struggling to stay afloat. Some 100,000 businesses have so far failed due to the pandemic. Millions have lost their jobs. Congress repeatedly has failed to come up with a second relief package for struggling Americans and small businesses. Why? Because partisan politics is so much more important than helping Americans.

If I seem angry, it's because I am. I am furious. I'm angry with the members of both parties for their refusal to do anything to help. I am furious with the so-called president who is angry and depressed that he lost his bid for reelection, and who now is having a temper tantrum, doing nothing but holding super-spreader rallies, tweeting endless nonsense and playing  golf. But most of all, I am angry and disgusted by everyone who refuses to do the small things that could help this country get control of this pandemic.

I never knew that Americans are either a) incredibly stupid or b) incredibly selfish. While many of us do the right thing -- stay home, socially isolate, wear a face mask -- nothing is going to change until everybody does the right thing. 

I will continue to do the right thing because I am part of society and I don't want to unknowingly spread the virus. And I don't want to get sick with the virus, either.

But  as this pandemic drags on, it gets harder and harder to care ... about anything. In particular, I don't care whether those who ignore public health orders get sick with Covid-19. I do care that their carelessness puts healthcare workers and innocent people at risk. But if the cult followers get sick, oh well.

Finding Gratitude During A Pandemic

Thanksgiving is just two weeks away.

So it's time to start thinking about things for which we are grateful. My first thought was, "This will be a really short list this year." The past 10 months have been awful for nearly everyone around the world. 

Kids can't safely attend school. People have lost their jobs. Small businesses (and some big ones) are out of business. Medical staff in hospitals are overwhelmed and burned out from caring for the endless stream of Covid patients. They are tired of watching their patients die. Even people who survive this terrible virus are often left with debilitating physical ailments, including mental impairment and cardiac issues. So far -- and things are likely going to get a lot worse before they get better -- more than 240,000 Americans have died of Covid-19. States set new records for Covid infections day after day. Hospitals have run out of beds. Social isolation and canceled vacation plans are taking a real toll on the nation's mental health. Except of course, those fools who refuse to wear masks or social distance or avoid large gatherings. 

It can be a bit of a challenge to find things for which to be grateful during the pandemic, when so many people are simply trying to survive and find some normalcy in life. Here are 27 items on my gratitude list:

• my wonderful home
• beautiful surroundings, including views of the mountains
• gorgeous blue skies
• a safe place to take walks
• good food, and plenty of it
• doctors, nurses and medical staff who took care of me earlier this year
• no debt
• a reliable car
• happy, healthy dogs to keep me company
• lots of sunshine
• opportunities to be kind to others
• quiet
• solitude
• hot showers
• privacy
• naps
• a comfortable bed
• books to read
• travel (in a normal year)
• photography
• good health
• inquisitive mind
• desire to keep learning
• my blue eyes
• warm winter clothing 
• an election system that works despite attempts to corrupt it
• a new administration that promises sanity and compassion
  

 I will spend Thanksgiving alone this year, as I did in 2019. My daughter lives in another state, and I don't want her to visit during the pandemic. I won't fix a special meal, and it will be just another day. But that doesn't mean I won't be thankful for the things I have.

Joy to the World

Joy. 

Overwhelming joy.

Joy is what I saw and what I felt as I watched president-elect Joe Biden and vice president-elect Kamala Harris and their families on stage in Delaware after their speeches to America Saturday night. 

My first thought was how wonderful it is to see leaders who smile...who laugh...who dance...who show emotions other than anger. There was no dancing on stage, but there was plenty of dancing in the streets nearby. And I have seen video clips of Harris busting moves. Despite the fact the families on stage wore masks, I could see joy and smiles and laughter in their eyes. Now think about it: when is the last time you saw any of the current first family smile, or laugh? Never? That sounds about right. That family is singularly devoid of joy, or at least as far as we can see. It seems their joy comes only from accumulating more wealth, insulting people, and slaughtering wild animals for fun.

CNN reporter Dana Bash noted that following the Democrats’ victory, "a pressure valve has been released in the cities." She acknowledged that some 70 million people who voted for the incumbent, many of them in rural areas and smaller towns, don't feel this way. Certainly they were not feeling joyful. But joy definitely was the word of the day for the 75 million Americans who have waited 4 years for this day. Biden made a point of promising to try to heal this country, to listen to those who did not vote for him, to work to bring the country closer together.

Joy is something we -- at least I -- have not seen or felt in this country for the past four years. The Biden and Harris families exude joy. They were happy; they were smiling under their masks. We have never seen happiness and smiles from the family of the current occupant of the White House. 

Leaders as well as average citizens of other countries -- the United Kingdom, Germany, France, Canada and Australia among them --  have celebrated the return of the United States to the world community. Biden said he will sign an executive order on his first day in office, returning the US to the Paris Climate Accord.

Biden has said he will give supporters of the president*, and the president* himself, time to come to grips with their loss. We need to recognize the hurt and sense of loss Republican supporters of the incumbent are feeling. We need to treat them far better than they have treated shoe who have opposed the incumbent. Then we need to work together to start repairing the damage done to America, and to Americans, over the past 4 years. 

I have described the feeling of knowing a new era is beginning in America in 70 days in two ways. Although I have never been incarcerated, I imagine the feeling we are experiencing is akin to how an inmate must feel upon release from prison. And feel as if the 50 pound backpack filled with rocks that I have been carrying for the past 4 years has just been removed from my back.

The time for hard work will be here soon enough. For now, And I am more than ready for some joy 

How Could We?

UPDATE: Joe Biden has been elected the 46th president of the United States.

I am thrilled with this result. But what is very dismaying to me and many other people is the fact that some 70 million Americans voted for a known narcissist, con artist, misogynist, sexual predator, racist, liar, draft dodger, cheat and white supremacist. For all those who claim "This isn't who we are," I say "This is definitely who we are." This election proved that.

We as a nation did not repudiate the corruption, bigotry and evil of this administration. We are a nation where 65 million Americans cast a vote for the most corrupt, racist president in generations. We are a nation where 70 million voters feel that this person represents their best choice for president, despite his failure to do anything to control the pandemic that so far has killed more than 230,000 of our fellow citizens. This is the nation where 70 million people support a person who thinks it's OK to discriminate against people because of their sexual preference. 

Seventy million Americans believe that sending in troops and using tear gas against peaceful protesters is acceptable. Sixty five million Americans apparently believe that assaulting women is fine. Some 70 million Americans are willing to cast their votes for someone who refuses to condemn Vladimir Putin after he reportedly paid bounties to Afghan insurgents for each American soldier they killed. Some 70 million voters believe that there "are very fine people" who are white supremacists.

Certainly not everyone who voted for the current president's* reelection believes everything he says and does. I don't agree with the platform of every candidate, but I also am not willing to vote for someone who promises to end Social Security, Medicare and Medicare if reelected. Why are people so stupid as to vote against their own self interest, when losing these social programs will harm the poor and the elderly far more than it will hurt the super rich? How can his supporters claim that they voted for him because "He is a Christian" when he is the opposite of what a Christian should be? How can they vote because he is 'pro-life" when under his policy, immigrant children are taken from their parents and locked in cages?

Do people simply vote for the candidates with an R after their names on the ballot? Are they so stupid and ill-informed that they don't bother to understand what the candidates stand for? Or perhaps at least some of these voters vote R because of the tax breaks multimillionaires and corporations get. 

Seventy million voters cast their ballots for someone who puts his racism and his misogyny on full display. Seventy million million Americans voted for someone who cares absolutely nothing about American citizens who aren't extremely wealthy and who can't help him in his eternal quest for power and wealth. How could women, Blacks and Hispanics vote for him after the cruel and demeaning things he has said about them? How could his claims that he is the "law and order president*" find traction with anybody when he repeatedly flaunts the laws and praises heavily armed thugs who invaded the statehouse in Michigan, even planning to plot and kill the state's Democratic governor?

How could we have been so very wrong about our country and its citizens? We believed there would be a 'blue tsunami' that would wash the racists and bigots and misogynists out of office. We encouraged people to honor the late Justice Ruth Bader Ginsburg by voting blue, by voting for the principles to which she devoted her entire brilliant, groundbreaking legal career.

We we so wrong. Moscow Mitch McConnell was reelected overwhelmingly. Lindsay Graham of South Carolina won a decisive victory over his Democratic opponent. The Democrats failed to regain control of the Senate; they even lost seats in the House while retaining a majority.

So, yes, America, this is who we are. We have failed once more the basic test of goodness and kindness, humanity and integrity. How sad is that.

America At the Crossroads

This is it, America. 

Election day 2020. This is without a doubt the most important election since I became eligible to vote some 50 years ago. Apparently many others feel the same way, as more than 100 million Americans have already cast their votes. Many stood in line for up to 10 or 12 hours, in driving rain and blazing sun.

As Joe Biden says, we are fighting for the soul of America. This election will determine whether we can start to rebuild was has been destroyed over the past 4 years, or whether we will continue on the path to autocracy and economic ruin for the masses. Will we choose democracy or fascism?

If Biden loses, we will certainly see more power grabbing by the president*. We will continue to see him and his cronies in Congress enrich themselves and their wealthy friends at the expense of ordinary Americans. We will see him continue to suck up to the dictators of the world, such as Putin, Kim Jung Un and Mohammed bin Salman. We will watch as America withdraws even further into isolationism. Alliances with our long-term allies will continue to wither. We will be hit with even more lies, and more egregious lies. Environmental protections will be completely destroyed, opening our national parks and wilderness areas to extractive uses such as mining and oil drilling. Nothing will be done to combat the coronavirus pandemic sweeping the country.

Nothing will be done to stem the hatred and violence this president* loves to foment. I expect the members of his cult to feel emboldened by his victory -- whether legitimate or not -- and to increase their hateful speech and actions against those who disagree with him. The evangelical 'Christians' and their allies in the courts will press to remove reproductive rights from half the population of the US. They will continue their efforts to return members of the LGBTQ community to second-class status. We will inch closer to becoming a theocracy, with Muslims, Jews and other religious groups being shoved aside.

We cannot, we must not, allow this to happen. Is Joe Biden a perfect candidate? He is not. He wasn't my first choice in the large field of potential Democratic candidates. But he has the knowledge, the temperament, the energy and the compassion to lead us out of the mess he will inherit. He is a good man. He has a deep Christian faith.

If you are registered to vote (and some states allow same-day registration and voting), and you are not among the more than 100 million Americans who have already cast their votes, please VOTE TODAY!

Let's Not Return to Normal

 What a year 2020 has been ... and there are still two months to go.

Australia, Colorado, California, Oregon and Washington were beset by devastating wildfires. The United states was hit by back-to-back hurricanes. The coronavirus pandemic has taken the lives of more than 1 million people worldwide, more than 230,000 of them in America, and left countless others with lingering health problems. It also caused massive unemployment and business collapse. Europe is now shutting down for the second time due to a resurgence of the virus. America, which never really shut down, needs to do the same.

In the US, the run-up to the election has showed the ugly side of many Americans, who believe that freedom of speech and freedom of assembly are rights to be enjoyed only by those who support the current occupant of the White House. 

As much as I have hated the past 4 years, and as much pain, suffering and death we have seen, I don't want a return to the 'normal' of the past 4 years, which has been, really, anything but normal. It is not normal to have a president* who delights in sowing division among the country's citizens, who loves creating chaos and inciting violence. Calling for the arrest of political opponents and calling them insulting names is anything but normal. Blocking access to polling places -- voter intimidation and suppression by supporters of one political party -- is not normal. Refusing to give federal aid to cities and states run by Democrats is not normal. Telling more than 25,000 lies in the past 4 years is not normal. Attacking the news media for telling the truth and for not praising his every word and action is not normal. Questioning whether protests should be allowed (they are, according to that pesky document known as the US Constitution) is not normal. Allowing a deadly virus to spread throughout the country while dismissing physicians and public health experts is not normal. Refusing to lead by example is not normal. Advocating the ingestion or injection of disinfectants to kill the virus is not normal.

Being totally lacking in compassion toward those who have lost friends and family to the pandemic -- never once offering words of sympathy -- is not normal. Failing to recognize and respond to the pain and anger of Black Americans who continue to be victims of police oppression, who continue to die, unarmed, simply for being Black, is not normal. And add to that the higher rates of death from Covid-19 among Black and other minority populations.

It isn't normal to send heavily armed, unidentified storm troopers into Democratic-run cities such as Portland and Seattle to turn up the heat and create problems that are blamed on peaceful protesters. It isn't normal to pepper spray peaceful protesters on the grounds of a church so the president*, who never attends church and whose actions and words are anything but Christian, can have a photo op with a Bible, a book he clearly has never read (many people think he is unable to read) and whose teachings he clearly abhors unless politically expedient.

It isn't normal to award the Medal of Freedom -- the nation's highest civilian honor -- to a hate-spewing racist and misogynist. It isn't normal to have no culture -- no concerts, no artwork, no poetry -- in the White House. It isn't normal to have a president* who is so vindictive that he has worked ceaselessly to undo the accomplishments of his predecessor, the first Black president in our nation's history. It isn't normal to promote conspiracy theories and to praise White supremacists. It isn't normal to hold large rallies during a pandemic, creating super-spreader events that ultimately sicken thousands of people. Refusing to pass a package of much-needed aid to citizens and small businesses during the pandemic, as the US Senate has done -- is not normal. Pledging to dismantle the Affordable Care Act, a hallmark of the Obama era, to remove health insurance from millions of people is not normal. Pledging to kill Social Security and Medicare, into which tens of millions of workers have paid for decades and upon which millions of the country's elderly depend, is not normal. 

It isn't normal to weaken or eliminate protections for endangered species, clean air and clean water. It isn't normal for the president to create a country devoid of joy, of happiness, of fun. The current president* always looks as if he just sucked on a lemon. His very appearance, his ever-present scowl, is not normal in someone who is supposed to comfort and reassure the nation during times of crisis. The same goes for the first lady, who complained bitterly and profanely about how much she hates decorating the White House for Christmas. She is almost never seen smiling.

 It isn't normal to have senior advisors to the president who are either close family members or avowed White supremacists. It isn't normal for those in key cabinet positions to hold their positions because of their contributions to the president's campaign fund rather than for their qualifications. 

So no, I do not want things to return to 'normal.' I want our country, when it finally emerges from the pandemic, to become a better America. I want a better 'normal.' This can be, once again, a great country. There is much work to be done. Racial and gender equality must be confronted head on. People must once again trust science and public health officials. We must again together as a united country, putting country above politics.

The question is, 'Can we and will we do what it takes to create a new, better normal?"