Trying to Be a Better Person

I am trying to be a better, kinder person.

This has nothing to do with the holidays. Quite simply, I'm fed up with the hatred, anger, rudeness, hostility and general lack of civility of this country. I'm tired of reading about abuse of animals and children. I'm tired of hearing about attacks on those who were born elsewhere, on those whose skin isn't white, and on those who aren't old, white men. I'm tired of rude people and screaming politicians and those who put self-interest above the common good.

Perhaps if more of us make an effort to spread a bit of kindness, we can make the world a better place in which to live. We may not change the world, but maybe we can spread a bit of happiness in our small corner. I cannot, and I will not, stand by and watch the world deteriorate around me without at least trying to make it a better place.

So even when I don't feel particularly friendly, I try to wave or smile or chat with someone I don't know. I try to let a very talkative neighbor go on at length despite my wanting to get home from my walk. I try to let someone with only a few items go ahead of me in the checkout line. I try to remain patient when the person in line ahead of me takes forever to check out as she fumbles through her coupons.

Why do I say "I try" to do these things? Because I'm not always successful. Sometimes my shyness keeps me from reaching out. Sometimes I just want to be done with the task at hand and move on. But I am trying to do better. Recently I bought a soft drink for a member of the group with which I was traveling in Colombia. She offered to pay for it, but it was only a couple of dollars. I gave some change to a handicapped man in a wheelchair sitting at the entrance to a church in Colombia. I gave an extra large tip to the waitress in Colombia, although tipping isn't common or expected in that country. 

I was reminded of a discussion some of my travel companions had at lunch about how fortunate we are to be able to afford to travel, when so many people are struggling to afford life's necessities. So giving a large tip or giving some change to a handicapped person seemed the right thing to do, not just in Colombia, but everywhere.

I don't mention these examples because I want praise. I mention them only as examples of how doing even small things can go a long way to brighten someone's day. Doing better, being kinder and more gentle, doesn't take a great deal of effort. Something as small as picking up an extra can of soup for the local food bank, or giving some change to someone less fortunate, is actually quite simple. There isn't a big economic cost attached to these things. And our actions, such as holding a door for someone or letting someone go ahead of us in line, costs us nothing but perhaps bit of our time.

Whatever I do to help others also helps me. I feel good about being a nice person, and sometimes, a simple act of kindness makes me feel less stressed or worried. We never know what obstacles or challenges others may be facing. And just maybe our small act of kindness makes a difference in that person's day. Maybe it will, if even for a while, lift their spirits. Maybe being generous to citizens of another country will help counteract some of the negative feelings those in some countries have about America and Americans. 

And maybe it will make us feel better as well. Being kind and compassionate have been shown to increase our sense of well-being. It also reduces stress, strengthens our immune system, and helps reduce anger, anxiety, depression and other negative emotions. 

So during these long, cold days of winter, when people are more stressed than usual, let's try being nicer than usual. Maybe being nice will become a trend. And wouldn't that be nice?