It's About Doing, Not Having

The older I get, the more I believe this statement. It isn’t about having, it’s about doing. 

It's about experiences. It's about giving. It's about helping. It isn't about buying.

Material things just aren’t that important to me. Yes, I live in a nice house and I drive a nice car. But the things that make me happiest are the experiences I get to enjoy through my travels and through my photography. And I like to help others.

I have worked for the past two years, off and on, to get rid of things from my house. I have given away to a local thrift shop clothes, shoes, tons of CDs and household goods. I also have given numerous books to an organization that uses the funds from the sale of these books to support our local public library. I gave two unused suitcases, a large artificial Christmas tree and boxes of lights and ornaments, as well as a couple of coats, to a shelter for victims of domestic abuse. And yet, despite all this, I still have a lot of 'stuff' in my house. So the process of getting rid of things continues.

And I don't miss any of the things I have given away. My house still looks the same, although a couple of book shelves are noticeably less crowded. My closets remain filled with clothing and shoes. But now I think twice before buying anything. Do I really need that item? Will I actually use it? Do I already have something that will serve the same purpose? Do I need it, or do I merely want it?

So rather than accumulating more items, I much prefer to do other things with my money. I travel a lot. I donate to charity. Recently I helped my daughter with a down payment on a car after hers was stolen and trashed beyond repair. All those things bring me much more pleasure than does buying something I don't really need. 

I recently returned from a 12-day trip to Berlin and Poland to learn about the Holocaust. Part of the trip was a service project at the original Auschwitz concentration camp. I joined our trip leader and 11 others in raking leaves, sweeping sidewalks, inspecting portable exhibits for damage, and checking the language on the permanent displays. The wording had been translated from Polish, and we, as native speakers of English, were asked to review and make note of any incorrect or awkward word usage, punctuation errors, etc.

A few members of my group noted that some friends had asked them why they were taking this trip, and especially why they were doing a service project for which they had to pay. "Who would pay to go to Auschwitz and work?" was the sentiment. But each person in the group saw far beyond the cost of this trip. We saw it as an opportunity to learn about a horrendous time in history, and to contribute in some small way to preserving the memory of the victims. And perhaps by sharing out experiences with others, we can make some small contribution to ensuring that another genocide doesn't happen. 

I love the experience of travel to other countries. For some, it may be taking trips with the family, or spending a day with the grandkids. Experiences don't have to involve spending a lot of money. Volunteering, taking a neighbor who doesn't drive to go grocery shopping, helping a friend with a project -- all of these experiences can make meaningful memories. When you're on your death bed, will you recall how big your house was, or what a fancy car you drove? Or will you reflect on the experiences you had and the memories you made?

It's doing, not having, that is so important. I hope Americans will remember that, especially now that the ever-earlier 'holiday season' is upon us. The garish displays of Christmas merchandise appear earlier every year, urging consumers to spend, spend, spend. If you must spend, how about putting your money into experiences rather than the latest gadget or toys the manufacturers tell you and you kids you absolutely must have?