A Change in Priorities

I have written previously about doing what you love and making time for yourself. That is something I used to neglect. But no longer. 

I have placed myself at the top of the list, something that wasn't easy to do. I am now my top priority. My physical and emotional health are my greatest concern. My adult daughter is a gambling addict who has cut off all contact with me and fled to California after stealing from her employer. She is an adult and makes her own decisions. She also has to face the consequences of her actions. I have realized that I have to worry about myself, not her. I wish her well, but there is nothing I can do to help her unless and until she seeks help.

Even as a retiree, I often find my days filled with obligations -- meetings with air conditioning technicians and roofers, doctor appointments (I have had a lot of those due to ongoing eye problems), grocery shopping, and veterinary appointments. Throw in the usual household chores such as dusting and vacuuming (a never-ending task with three long-haired dogs in the house and a dusty environment outside), and suddenly 'free time' becomes a foreign concept.

I never considered myself a very creative person, but I now realize that I am creative. I am a good writer and a better-than-good photographer. I often carry a small digital camera with me when I'm out and about, as I never know when I will spot something I would like to photograph. I am always looking for opportunities to join photography trips to interesting places. I went on a photo trip to Yellowstone and Grand Teton national parks recently, as well as a photo trip to Colorado. 

I love to travel, and I take eight or so trips every years, including several international trips. These trips allow me to indulge my passion for photography, meet new people and learn about different cultures. Friends have noted how happy I look while traveling.

I spend time talking on the phone with a very good friend in California. I do a lot of reading. I exercise every day. I produce photo calendars that allow me to share my photographs with others while raising money for charity at the same time.

Self-care is a difficult thing for many people, particularly for women. But it should be our greatest priority. Caring for ourselves doesn't make us selfish. It doesn't mean we don't care about others. But if we don't take care of ourselves, how can we take care of others? Remember those announcements before an airplane takes off, the one about putting our oxygen mask on first before helping others? That's the same thing self care does for us. We can't care for others if we don't care for ourselves first.

I know what you're thinking. "You're retired, so of course you can make self care a priority. I have a stressful job. I have little kids to take care of." I know, it isn't easy. But you, and those for whom you care, will be much happier if you can slip in a little self care every so often.

Life is too short, especially when we get old, not to take care of ourselves. So go ahead. Indulge yourself. Read that book you've been wanting to read. Take a nap. Get a massage. Embrace your favorite hobby. Visit that place you've always wanted to visit. Life life with no regrets!

The Presence of Absence

Last night I watched a program on National Geographic Channel called ‘Nazi Scrapbooks from Hell.’

This program explores the discovery and contents of two photo scrapbooks made in 1944 and 1945. Both were made public just a few years ago. One was the personal photo album of a Nazi officer implicated in the Auschwitz horrors. It shows Nazis laughing, eating and drinking with their friends and families. They are seen relaxing after a hard day of murdering Jews. One of the people interviewed noted that these people were not monsters, as much as we would like for them to be. They were average, everyday Germans who committed monstrous acts. The question is, how could average, everyday people do such horrendous things?

The other photo album shows the arrival of a trainload of Hungarian Jews at Auschwitz. Photos of scenes in the camps are extremely rare. I mean, why would the Nazis leave photographic evidence of their atrocities? One of the people interviewed, who is Jewish but not a Holocaust survivor, noted that the overwhelming sensation of visiting Auschwitz is “the presence of absence.“

That phrase -- the presence of absence -- really struck a chord with me. I have been to Auschwitz once, and I’m going back next year on a service project. I understand what that man meant. The feeling that is so predominant at Auschwitz and its satellite camps, and indeed at all Nazi death camps, is the absence of the millions of people who passed through the gates of the death camps, and who were murdered there.

The other thing that was absent was compassion, morality, humanity in the Nazis who were part of the efforts to exterminate all Jews from Europe.  From the cooks to the guards to the officers and the commandant, every single person who worked at these camps was guilty of crimes against humanity. So, too, were those high up in the Nazi hierarchy. Only a tiny fraction of the Nazis involved in the Holocaust was ever brought to justice. So there also is an absence of justice.

Let us not forgot the millions of Germans, Poles and Ukrainians who were, by their silence, complicit in the atrocities carried out against the Jews. German citizens wildly cheered the rise of the Nazi party. Austrian citizens welcomed Hitler to Vienna. Ukrainians were among the most feared, and most cruel, of the camp guards. Polish Catholics turned against their Jewish neighbors. Where was their humanity?

I cannot begin to imagine what life under the Nazis was like. Family members turned against each other. Neighbors turned in neighbors. Friends turned against friends. No one could be trusted. The risk of being suspected of harboring a Jew or of being a 'Jew lover' was instant death for the entire family. It must have been so incredibly terrifying for everybody.

But there were brave people who did step forward in defiance. Some were killed outright. Some were sent to the death camps. Many worked in secret, providing food and a hiding place for their Jewish neighbors. The finer qualities of humanity were not absent in those brave souls.

I see a growing absence of caring, of compassion, among too many Americans. People cheer and laugh at the woman who reported a sexual attack by the most recent nominee to the Supreme Court. People enthusiastically embrace the lies told by the president. A far-right radical drives his car into a crowd of people protesting against the KKK, neo-Nazi crowd marching in Virginia, killing a young woman. The president, rather than condemning the violence and the very principles espoused by the KKK and the neo-Nazis, claims that there are "fine people on both sides."

Our country needs to be very careful. The current administration is showing a decided absence of compassion, morality and humanity. The president continues his attacks on the news media. He has questioned whether protests should be permitted. He demands loyalty to himself personally, as did Hitler, rather than to the country and to the US Constitution. We have torn little children from their parents and locked them in cages. Congress is doing everything in its power to limit access to affordable health care. Verbal attacks on Muslims, on Hispanics and on women are growing. The president insulted the widow of a US military man killed in combat in Africa.

Americans need to be very careful about the threat to our freedoms. It is far too easy to remain complacent while the government chips away at our rights. Be vigilant. Make your voices heard. And most importantly, get out and vote next month!

DON'T LAUGH AT ME!

Hey, clueless people, didn't your mommy teach you that it isn't nice to laugh at other people's pain?

I recently posted on my personal Facebook page how upset and I angry I was (and still am) about the way the nomination of a judge to sit on the US Supreme Court was handled. I was upset about the way the president and others mocked and laughed at his accuser. I was upset about the president severely limiting the scope of the FBI's investigation into serious allegations against the nominee.

One person, a man I don't know well and don't particularly like, responded with the 'ha-ha' emoji. He was laughing at my post. After figuring out which of my 'friends' had laughed at my discomfort, I quickly unfriended him.

How dare he, a man, laugh at my emotional distress. It would have been wrong for anyone of either gender to laugh, but it is particularly egregious for a man -- an old white male -- to respond in this hurtful way.

I don't care whether he is on the other side of the political aisle. I don't care whether he thought my feelings were an overreaction or inappropriate or ridiculous. He could have simply ignored the post. But he chose to laugh at my obvious, and public, emotional distress.

Sadly, his response is far too common these days. Rather than saying nothing, he chose to laugh. What kind of person laughs at someone else's emotional pain? What is funny about reading about someone's hurt? For all he knows, I might be a victim of sexual assault. Would he laugh if his wife or daughter or granddaughter was the victim of sexual assault?

I never should have accepted this guy's friend request. He wasn't nice to me during a trip we both took, so I shouldn't be surprised by his reaction to my post.

I am not a radical feminist, but I am fed up with the women of this country (and around the world) being treated as second-class citizens. Take us seriously, you ignorant fools. Treat us the way you want  your wives, your partners, your mothers, your girlfriends and your daughters to be treated. Treat us the way you want to be treated. Don't laugh at us, whether you agree with our sentiments and actions or not. 

My dream is that I will live long enough to see these domineering, self-entitled elected officials swept from office. My dream is that their self-important supporters will follow them into oblivion. They need to be relegated to the dustbin of history.

Treat everyone -- young or old, male or female, of every race and religion -- with respect. Otherwise, keep your nasty words and actions to yourselves.

Moving in the Wrong Direction

American society is moving in the wrong direction.

Rather than continuing to move toward a society in which people of all races, genders and ethnicities are treated with respect, we are moving to a time of exclusion, derision and

Consider the following examples of what is happening under the current Republican administration:

• There is open hostility toward the news media, with cries of 'fake news' and exclusion of reporters from certain news outlets now an everyday occurrence.*
• Racial tensions, previously an undercurrent in our society, are more pronounced and increasingly violent.*
• Verbal and even physical attacks on minorities and others considered 'different' from white culture are not uncommon.*
• America's culture war between conservative and more progressive values has grown and deepened, leaving the country deeply divided.
• There is a growing chasm between the extremely wealthy and the rest of the population.
• The divide between the educated and un/less educated segments of society is increasing.
• Distrust of scientists and science is on the rise. Global warming/climate change is derided as 'fake news.'
• It now appears to be OK for supporters of the current administration to openly mock victims of sexual abuse and assault.
• Name-calling of those in political disfavor is commonplace.
• Environmental protections are being drastically rolled back.
• Christian fundamentalism is on the rise.
• The vice president and the secretary of education want to force the nation and public schools to embrace their version of Christianity to the exclusion of other religions.
• The country has taken a decidedly nationalist position.* The age of globalism is done. The current administration is pulling out of international treaties and agreements, including those with America's traditional allies.
• The president, a would-be dictator if allowed, holds constant rallies where his adoring followers give him the praise and adulation he so desperately craves. These rallies are reminiscent of the massive rallies held by Hitler some 75 years ago.*
• The president (I refuse to use his name), like Hitler before him, demands absolute loyalty to him, not to the United States or the US Constitution. To him.*
• The president has insulted the leaders of our staunchest allies: Great Britain, Germany, France, Canada and Australia.
•  The president also has stated publicly that he wonders whether any protest against anything should be allowed. More shades of Nazi Germany.*

Those items marked with an * at the end of the bullet point also were hallmarks of Nazi Germany. In Germany, it was Jews, Gypsies, the physically and mentally disabled, and gays. In 2018 America, targets are Muslims and gays. 

There have always been two (or more) sides to political and socio-economic issues. But now, calm, rational discussions of our differences are almost impossible. People on one side of an argument bear incredible ill will toward people on the other side. Insults and name-calling pepper online political discussions. As an example of the hatred tearing this country apart, one of the "very fine people" among the neo-Nazis participating in last year's rally in Charottesville, VA, drove his car into a crowd of people marching in opposition, killing one young woman. So much for freedom of speech. So much for freedom of assembly.

I have lived for six decades. I have never seen this country so divided and filled with hatred toward our fellow Americans. People who hold opposing viewpoints are not traitors. They should not be told "If you don't like it here, get out of the country." They should fear for their lives because they speak with an accent or wear a head scarf. 

Americans need to focus on what once made this country the world leader it has been. We need to focus on what we have in common with others. We need to join forces to boot out of Congress all who have lost sight of those for whom they work; they are supposed to represent the people who elected them, not the billionaires and corporations that bought and paid for them. 

I am fed up. I am disgusted. Watching the political drams, the behind-the-scenes manipulations and meddling with an FBI investigation so limited in scope it doesn't deserve to be called an investigation so the administration can rush through its nomination of a drunken attorney who clearly lacks both the morals and the demeanor to serve on the Supreme Court, has left me feeling nauseous.

America deserves better than this. It is time to sweep out the debris and the deadwood from Congress. Midterm elections are just a month away. GET OUT AND VOTE!

Taking a Stand

I am very disillusioned these days.

There are so many places and things I am boycotting that it's getting difficult to find anything that meets my standards.

Here are a few examples:

• I haven't eaten pork, veal, lamb, wild game or shellfish for many years. I eliminated pork from my diet because of the inhumane way in which American pigs are factory farmed. The same goes for veal, which I have never eaten. Lambs are just too cute to eat. I enjoy watching wildlife, so there is no way I will consume wild game. And shellfish I simply don't like.
• I quit eating beef a couple of years ago to protest the cattle industry's war on wolves, bears, cougars and bison.
• I try to avoid palm oil because of the associated deforestation, habitat degradation and loss of habitat of orangutans, and abuses of indigenous peoples, among other reasons. To make room for oil palm plantations, native forests must be removed. Avoiding palm oil is nearly impossible, as it is found in countless store-bought products such as cookies and crackers, and it is often disguised as 'vegetable oil.'
• I won't buy farm-raised, so-called 'Atlantic' salmon.
• I'm running out of countries to visit in Africa. The government of South Africa is so corrupt that even wildlife in sanctuaries are being slaughtered. And now, Botswana, which until the election of a new government did a great job of protecting its wildlife, has decimated the anti-poaching patrols, taken away their weapons, and parked numerous vehicles due to unpaid fuel bills. The result? The murder of 87 elephants for their tusks. And I'm sure this is just the beginning. So I won't visit Botswana any more. I've already booked a trip there with three friends in 2019. That will be my final visit there. Zimbabwe is also on the no-go list due to its allowing of trophy hunting (remember Cecil the lion?) and its sales of baby elephants to China, where they languish and die.
• I won't buy anything made by or sold by the Amish, who are huge operators of puppy mills. They also are frequent abusers of other animals.
• I do my best to avoid buying anything made in China due to its abhorrent treatment of animals, the environment and for being the driving force behind the trafficking of pangolins, the slaughter of elephants for their tusks (to be made into ivory trinkets) and the decimation of rhinoceros (because of the 'magic potions' made from rhino horns). And let's not forget the killing of lions so their bones can be made into more magic potions and magic wine.
• As much as I love visiting Yellowstone (I have been there nine times in the past few years), the war on wolves supported by Montana and Wyoming has made me realize that next year's trip to the park will likely be my last.

I don't mind avoiding these items, but I wish I felt that my boycotts did anything to help the situations that concern me. If enough people stop buying beef, perhaps the cattle industry's war on wolves and wild bison would stop. But how likely is it that thousands or millions of people will give up their steaks or hamburgers? My boycott isn't likely to make any difference at all. 

I also sign petitions, some of which have tens of thousands of signatures, but again, what good does it do?

I think the sad reality is that the only good that comes from my boycotts and petitions is that it makes me feel that I am doing something to combat these wrongs. It makes me feel a bit better, but does it really make a difference? I think not.

Surviving A Stress-Filled World

I have felt unusually stressed lately.

I don't get stressed easily, but things have been piling up lately. Health issues keep me busy with doctor appointments that seem to bring continuing bad news. My house keeps having problems, mostly with the air conditioning system. I have been feeling very alone (not lonely, but alone). 

So in an attempt to regain my typical upbeat nature, I have been looking for things to get the stress under control. I am using several strategies to get myself back to normal.

I listen to classical music on the radio, which avoids most of the noisy, in-your-face commercials common to commercial radio stations.

I limit my time on social media, which these days is filled with anger-inducing stories about the current administration's efforts to further destroy the environment, kill wild animals and foment discord among the citizenry. And my news feed has so many stories of animal abuse that sometimes I just can't handle it. So I step away for a bit.

I read a lot, which is both educational and a wonderful distraction. I continue to walk a minimum of  3 miles every day. I listen to a new CD of song birds singing. And I have been keeping busy with editing the photos I took during a recent trip to Yellowstone and Grand Teton national parks. There is nothing like enjoying the beauty of nature to lift my spirits.

I chose 13 images and created a wall calendar for my office. Later, I will create a second calendar with different images of nature for my kitchen. If I can't always be outside enjoying nature, I can at least look at images of some of Mother Nature's creations. Being in nature has been shown to be a mood booster. 

I 'm looking forward to a trip that will combine my two favorite things -- nature and photography -- so that should help greatly with the stress as well. Temperatures are cooling and the leaves are changing colors -- great things for outdoor photography.

A certain amount of stress is good for the body. Too much can harm our minds and our bodies. Now it's time to leash up the dogs and walk away some of my stress!

What Really Bothers Me

You know what really bothers me (among other things)?

What bothers me is when people talk about “harvesting“ animals.  We harvest crops. We harvest wheat and apples and corn. We kill animals. Animals are not harvested. Here in New Mexico, where I live, we talk about the chile harvest, and we harvest pecans. We don't talk about the elk harvest or the deer harvest. We don't hear news reports about the elk harvest or the deer harvest.

To me, using the word harvested rather than killed is nothing more than a thinly veiled attempt to soft-pedal the fact that animals are being killed. It implies that we own the objects of the 'harvest,' which in the case of wild animals, we certainly do not. Why do people use an agricultural term -- harvest -- when referring to the killing of animals? This objectionable term is in widespread use, not just by hunters, but also by wildlife managers and wildlife biologists. I have no idea where this term originated or how long it has been in use. But it is time to retire it to the dustbin of history. Do those who use this term really believe they can control wild animals as they control crops such as wheat and corn? Do they think the wildlife are sitting in a field like a field of wheat, just waiting to be 'harvested'? Humans control their crops. They provide water and fertilizer and pesticides. With wildlife? Not so much.

I have always found this attempt -- whether deliberate or not -- to avoid the reality of hunting and wildlife 'management' to be both fake and disingenuous. So hunters and wildlife 'managers' and biologists, it's time to own up to the fact that what you are doing is killing wildlife. Stop trying to sugarcoat it and pretend it's nothing more than sending a combine into a field to pick crops.