A Change in Priorities

I have written previously about doing what you love and making time for yourself. That is something I used to neglect. But no longer. 

I have placed myself at the top of the list, something that wasn't easy to do. I am now my top priority. My physical and emotional health are my greatest concern. My adult daughter is a gambling addict who has cut off all contact with me and fled to California after stealing from her employer. She is an adult and makes her own decisions. She also has to face the consequences of her actions. I have realized that I have to worry about myself, not her. I wish her well, but there is nothing I can do to help her unless and until she seeks help.

Even as a retiree, I often find my days filled with obligations -- meetings with air conditioning technicians and roofers, doctor appointments (I have had a lot of those due to ongoing eye problems), grocery shopping, and veterinary appointments. Throw in the usual household chores such as dusting and vacuuming (a never-ending task with three long-haired dogs in the house and a dusty environment outside), and suddenly 'free time' becomes a foreign concept.

I never considered myself a very creative person, but I now realize that I am creative. I am a good writer and a better-than-good photographer. I often carry a small digital camera with me when I'm out and about, as I never know when I will spot something I would like to photograph. I am always looking for opportunities to join photography trips to interesting places. I went on a photo trip to Yellowstone and Grand Teton national parks recently, as well as a photo trip to Colorado. 

I love to travel, and I take eight or so trips every years, including several international trips. These trips allow me to indulge my passion for photography, meet new people and learn about different cultures. Friends have noted how happy I look while traveling.

I spend time talking on the phone with a very good friend in California. I do a lot of reading. I exercise every day. I produce photo calendars that allow me to share my photographs with others while raising money for charity at the same time.

Self-care is a difficult thing for many people, particularly for women. But it should be our greatest priority. Caring for ourselves doesn't make us selfish. It doesn't mean we don't care about others. But if we don't take care of ourselves, how can we take care of others? Remember those announcements before an airplane takes off, the one about putting our oxygen mask on first before helping others? That's the same thing self care does for us. We can't care for others if we don't care for ourselves first.

I know what you're thinking. "You're retired, so of course you can make self care a priority. I have a stressful job. I have little kids to take care of." I know, it isn't easy. But you, and those for whom you care, will be much happier if you can slip in a little self care every so often.

Life is too short, especially when we get old, not to take care of ourselves. So go ahead. Indulge yourself. Read that book you've been wanting to read. Take a nap. Get a massage. Embrace your favorite hobby. Visit that place you've always wanted to visit. Life life with no regrets!