Unexpected Kindnesses

By any measure, 2020 has been a really rotten, sad and difficult year for just about everybody. Everybody, that is, except for the billionaires whose net worth has increased by several billion dollars.

Despite the horrible death toll and the large number of people who survived the virus with possibly lifelong problems, my personal life has had a couple of bright spots recently. And this year, I need all the bright spots I can get.

An online friend, who also is an animal lover, made a donation in my dog Layla‘s memory to the Morris Animal Foundation, which does life-saving research into a variety of diseases and conditions that afflict our companion animals.

After my dog died, I had a package of doggy diapers that I no longer needed. So I posted them to give away for free on a local bulletin board. When the woman came to pick them up, she brought me a hand crocheted comfort and prayer shawl. Unfortunately, the two from which I could choose were a bit small. So a few days later she brought a larger one and left it at my front door. I certainly wasn’t expecting, nor was I asking, for anything from her. I was just happy to find someone who could use the doggy diapers. But I really appreciated the thoughtfulness of the gift.

I recently was sent to the emergency room. As I wasn’t sure whether I would be admitted to the hospital or not, I dropped my remaining dog off at the boarding kennel where he stays when I’m out of town. I picked him up the next morning, and was pleasantly surprised that there was no charge for his stay.

Yesterday I received a box of my favorite candy (pecan Turtles) from my sister, and a box of several kinds of goodies from a friend in North Carolina. I will have to enjoy all these treats slowly, as I am trying to lose weight. But the thoughtfulness packed in each package was a sweet treat indeed. 

These small and unexpected acts of kindness mean so much more this year among all the suffering and negativity. So thank you to everyone who has reached out with kindness.

My Christmas Wish List

I remember when I was a kid, putting together a list of what I wanted for Christmas each year.

Two of the things I really wanted one year were a record player and a 45 rpm record of one of my favorite songs. It has been many decades since I was a child, and I don't make wish lists any longer. Material things long ago lost their allure. But this year, I do have a list of wishes. Among them are:

• to adopt a golden retriever from a rescue organization or humane society as a companion for my dog, who now finds himself an only dog following the death of another family dog this month
• an end to the pandemic
• vaccinations for everyone who wants one to protect against the coronavirus
• a new, compassionate administration (that one is coming in 30 days)
• economic recovery so people can return to work and businesses fully reopen
  
• an end to recurring kidney stones
• being able to travel again
• the restoration of hope among the populace
  
• never hearing or seeing the orange blob ever again

 

That's it. I have started the search for the golden retriever. I'm making changes to my diet to decrease the chances of developing new kidney stones. I have no control over the other things. I hope that with a new administration that actually cares about the American people and that will lead by example, things will start to get better. Having a country led by actual leaders who work for the benefit of the country rather than their own interests will start to turn this country around.

That would be the best gift of all.

In Search of Christmas

 I have tried.

I have tried to get somewhat in the Christmas spirit this year. But it isn't going to happen. I am currently listening to Christmas music sung by the angelic voice of Irish singer Enya. I listen to Christmas music in my bedroom and in my office. Nothing. There is no holiday spirit this year. No baking. No buying gifts for others. No cards. Nothing. 

Truth be told, I haven't done much for Christmas for several years, since my daughter started living on her own. In years past, even when living alone, I would put up a tree, put a wreath on the front door, set out Christmas decorations, and bake a variety of cookies. Now none of that seems worth the effort. I am trying to loose weight, so making cookies or fudge doesn't make sense. I am continuing to donate to several of my favorite charities, especially those that provide food to those in need. But that is something I do throughout the year.

This has been a tough year. I know half a dozen people, four of them my relatives, who have had Covid-19, and one of them lost both parents to the disease. All others have survived, fortunately, but the long-term effects remain to be seen. My dog died this month of cancer, suddenly and unexpectedly. Her sister died 15 months previously, suddenly and unexpectedly. I have been unable to travel, something I typically do several times every year. And I now am dealing with more kidney stones, despite having three laser treatments that supposedly got rid of them a couple of months ago. Chronic discomfort (it could be so much worse) doesn't put me in a holiday mood.

I am watching the current administration continue to bungle management of the pandemic, this time delaying the shipments of critical doses of the vaccine that offers hope to bringing this pandemic to an end. Meanwhile, a couple thousand people die of the virus each die, hospitals and healthcare workers are on the verge of collapse, and rich people such as Rupert Murdoch get the vaccine while frontline workers can't.

So it has not been a good year. I am cognizant of the fact that I am very fortunate in many ways. I am retired, so there is no job to lose. My house and car are paid for, so there is no concern about losing either of those things. I have plenty of food available. I have health insurance and I am in pretty good health overall. Things could be so much worse.

Let us hope that 2021 will bring us some relief from the virus, from the hatred and division that so plague our country, and that the Christmas spirit will again find its way into my heart and home.

A Christmas Memory

I am doing absolutely nothing for Christmas this year.

I’m not decorating the house, I’m not doing any special baking, and I’m not even putting a wreath on my front door. I stopped mailing Christmas cards several years ago. All I have done is listen to some of my Christmas CDs.

But as I was walking outside today, something brought to mind things that my now ex-husband and I used to do at Christmas time many years ago in northern California. I worked for a federal agency that was located on a naval air station. The gates were guarded by sailors, usually very young sailors. So every Christmas Eve, we would put together two plates of goodies and deliver them to the gate guards. Each plate would include such things as cookies, both homemade and store-bought, homemade fudge, and fruit cake.

The guards were always so shocked and surprised to be handed two plates of goodies on Christmas Eve. I would guess that many of these young people were experiencing their first Christmas away from home.

Of course, such a random act of kindness aren’t possible anymore. I’m sure there is a prohibition against accepting homemade goodies due to the threat of poisoning or other nefarious acts by hate-filled or otherwise sick people.

We carried out this tradition for several years, complete with our dogs in the backseat of the car. It was a quick but rewarding action on Christmas Eve.

I miss the simplicity and freedom to do these things that we had back in the 1980s and 1990s. Today’s memory brought back warm feelings in a very dismal and difficult year.

A Meaningful Life

“To make life a little better for people less fortunate than you, that’s what I think a meaningful life is. One lives not just for oneself, but for one’s community.” 

I love this quote by the late Supreme Court justice Ruth Bader Ginsburg aka RBG.

What a wonderful philosophy of life!  RBG devoted her life to helping the greater community by fighting for equal rights for women, for members of the LGBTQ, disabled and immigrant communities. Having faced discrimination when she was beginning her legal career, she made it her mission to help secure equality for women. Because of her, women no longer need a male to cosign applications for credit cards, loans or mortgages. Because of her, women can approve, or not, medical treatments, without a male. She fought for equal pay for both women and men. 

RBG was a trailblazer her entire life. She was the second woman and the first Jewish woman to serve on the Supreme Court. She was the first tenured female professor at Columbia Law School. She was only the second woman to serve as a law professor at Rutgers University. And even in death, she was the first woman and second Jewish person to lie in state.

What a meaningful life she led. We all would do well to emulate her philosophy of life. If we live a meaningful life, we are likely to feel at peace with ourselves, with those around us, and with the world at large. It doesn't mean we don't have disappointments, struggles and challenges. It doesn't mean that we stop trying to make things better. 

RBG flourished in the face of adversity, both personal and cultural. She used her considerable talents -- her intellect, her determination, her understanding of the law, her tenacity, her ability to articulate her beliefs, her incredible work ethic -- to literally change American society for the better. 

This tiny woman, who was only 5'1" tall, had a huge impact on American jurisprudence.  She was respected and admired by millions, and feared by those against whom she did battle in the courts.

We miss you, RBG.

 

Give A Little. Help A Lot.

As we prepare for the winter holidays, as unusual as they will be this year, please take a moment to reflect on the many things you have that many Americans do not: a warm place to live, clothing, food in the pantry, a vehicle to take you where you need to go. Then, if you are so moved and if you can spare a few dollars, please send a donation to a charity that helps the hungry, the homeless, those who need warm winter clothes.

The need is so much greater than usual this year due to the pandemic. People are lining up in their cars for hours to get a box of food. Food banks are struggling to meet the demand as millions of people suddenly jobless are in need of assistance. Anything you can provide -- a couple cans of soup, a box of cereal, a jar of peanut butter or whatever you can donate to your local food bank or food pantry -- can mean so much to those in need. Some churches, temples and other religious institutions offer hot meals to the homeless. One in three children and one in five adults in my state are at risk of hunger. I buy extra food when I spot a good sale on non-perishable items, and save it until the next food drive. There is always a need.

And times are really tough for homebound senior citizens, who may be unable to go shopping, be unable to afford the food they need, or be afraid to venture out during the pandemic. For this reason, I started donating to Meals on Wheels this year. I have made two donations so far, and plan to make at least one more before the end of the year. In addition to nutritious food, volunteers also provide companionship and a welfare check.

As challenging as this year has been for everyone, let us remember how fortunate we are. I have plenty to eat, a warm house, a good car and warm winter clothes. I can afford to keep the lights and the heat on. The least I can do is to share my blessings with those not as fortunate.

Won't you join me?

Be Someone Who Cares

I am tapped out.

I am out of sympathy for the millions of willfully ignorant people who deny this pandemic. For those who still refuse to wear a mask and to avoid large crowds. For those who ignored the pleas of public health officials and infectious disease experts who urged them not to travel for Thanksgiving. Now we are seeing the results of their ignorance and selfishness. 

I no longer care about these willfully ignorant people. I do care about all the innocent people they have infected. And I care about the healthcare workers who have died because of willfully ignorant people. I care about the healthcare workers who are being pushed to the brink while trying to save people who didn't care enough to try to save themselves. I care about the physicians who soon will be forced to decide which patients receive a hospital bed and treatment, and which do not when the hospitals are filled to capacity.

I am saddened by the deaths of the thousands of people who did the right things but got infected anyway. I am sorry for the spouses, the siblings, the children, the parents, the grandparents and the friends of those who did the right things but died anyway because some can't be troubled to wear a mask or to stay away from bars. 

I have relatives who have been sick with Covid-19. One of them, who is diabetic, was hospitalized. She is home now, but still quite sick. Her husband and teenage sons are recovering. 

I get it. Wearing a mask isn't comfortable. It makes my glasses steam up. Some masks hurt my ears. It isn't 'normal' for those of us not in the healthcare professions to wear masks. But you know what? Nothing about life during this pandemic is 'normal.' Knowing that close to 300,000 of my fellow Americans have died during the past 10 months is not 'normal.' Wearing a mask helps protect me from getting sick, whether it's from the coronavirus or the flu. Wearing a mask also helps protect others from any communicable disease I might have, such as asymptomatic coronavirus, the flu or a cold. 

Most of us are not being asked to wear a mask all the time. Wearing a mask for 20 or 30 minutes every week or two when I go grocery shopping isn't a hardship. It doesn't make me look fearful or weak. Being asked to wear a mask doesn't violate my rights and it isn't unconstitutional. It does make me look like someone who doesn't want to get sick or possibly infect others. It makes me look like someone who cares.

Not wearing a mask makes people appear selfish or ignorant or both. Being selfish and ignorant, and putting those qualities on public display, is nothing of which to be proud. 

Please, make the small sacrifices needed to get this pandemic under control. Yes, vaccines are on the way, but it will take several months to vaccinate enough people to make a difference. 

Please, be someone who cares.