Love and Loss

 I have loved, and lost, more than a dozen adopted dogs in my life.

And while I mourn the passing of each dog, some more than others, not until Jett's untimely death have I had a visceral, physical reaction to a death.

I have thrown up. I have had pain in my back. I have forgotten to eat lunch. I forgot what day of the week it was. I forgot to use the prescription eye drops I have used twice/day for several years.

Jett was with me less than a year when meningitis -- an inflammation of his brain -- took his life. He was just 2 years and 3 months old.

I was saddened but holding myself together until Jett's veterinarian called with the preliminary results of his necropsy (animal autopsy). Jett died of meningitis, an inflammation of the brain resulting from an abscess behind his left eye. How he got the abscess is unknown. But hearing what killed him at such a young age brought relief to finally have answers, while also bringing on a lot of tears. Even his veterinarian was crying.

When I finished the call, I unleashed a torrent of tears along with sobs and screams. Just thinking about Jett and knowing he is gone brings me to tears.

This is a deep, raw wound that is going to take a very long time to heal. I suspect the scars will last forever.