I Want to Live My Life Again

After nearly a year of lockdowns and stay-at-home orders, I need to start living my life again.

I know that tens of millions of others in this country are in the same, or worse, position as am I. I am not going hungry because I cannot afford to buy food. I am not at risk of losing my home or my car because I an unable to make the payments. I did not lose my job. I am happily grateful and aware that I am doing fine.

But I feel the missed opportunities more than others, perhaps, because I am old. I do not have decades left to do the things I enjoy. Every place I don't get to visit is a place I may never get to visit. My life is not just ticking away; it is racing away. I long to live life, not simply to sit on the sidelines and watch life pass me by. So ......

I want to travel again.

I want to take photos of interesting animals and beautiful landscapes again.

 I want to enjoy life once more.

I want to stop spending my days, weeks and months shut away in my house.

I want to adopt a dog, which isn't easy as the pandemic has seen many animal shelters nearly devoid of animals because so many were adopted by people who began working from home. This is good for the adopted animals, but difficult for me.

I want to meet a friend for lunch.

I want to visit friends and family in other states. 

I want to do something other than read and watch television. 

I want to get vaccinated against the coronavirus, but due to Trump's lack of planning and his ineptitude, there aren't enough vaccines to meet the huge demand.

 

I recently bought two of The Great Courses that I watch online. They are educational, but they are online. That means even more time sitting in front of a computer. What I really want to do is to get out and do something, to learn by doing. I want to once again be actively engaged in life, not watch from the sidelines.

 I know there is no easy cure for this situation. But people are fed up. People are frustrated and depressed and frightened and tired. And now, with at least three new, more contagious variants of the virus, we are being told to wear two masks at a time, and to no longer go grocery shopping in person. An occasional trip to the grocery store is the highlight of my life during this pandemic.

Doctors are calling this 'pandemic fatigue.' According to the American Medical Association's web site, "With COVID-19 fatigue, “you’re tired in your soul—emotionally, psychologically, socially, spiritually, you are just tired and not motivated,” said Dr. [Carl] Lambert. “To get out of that fatigue, maintain hope that things will get better.” After a year of hoping that things will get better while watching things get worse, this isn't a realistic solution for me.

Pandemic fatigue is real, and it can cause people to stop taking the steps necessary to keep themselves and others safe. The vaccination program is a fiasco. People are clamoring to get vaccinated against the coronavirus, but there simply aren't enough vaccines to meet the demand. And then we see wealthy people and members of Congress jump the line to get vaccinated. I am in a high-risk group, yet the anticipated time for my group to be vaccinated has moved from late January to spring. Sorry, but that is simply not good enough.

I know that the new president inherited a total mess, and that there was no plan to distribute the vaccine quickly and equitably. I also know that there has been no guidance to the states -- and little financial support -- as well as no standardized distribution plan. People younger than I in other states are getting vaccinated. I have registered with my state's department of health, but after that -- silence.

This is a public health emergency. We cannot wait for pharmaceutical companies to get around to producing more vaccines. At this point I am both angered and frightened.

We -- the governments at all levels -- must do better.