Finding "The Perfect Gift"

Television commercials already are bleating about "the perfect gift."

Is it that $70,000 SUV? Or perhaps it's a diamond tennis bracelet? Or something else the buyer can't really afford.

I don't have anyone in my family for whom to buy holiday gifts. There is nothing I need or want, and I have spent the past couple of years getting rid of unwanted books, CDs, shoes, clothes and various household goods. This week I donated a chair and a microwave. Last month I donated a down jacket, a dressy wool coat, a 7' artificial Christmas tree and two large boxes of lights and ornaments, and a 55" Sony television. 

I have two good friends who love coffee. So when my travels take me to a coffee-producing country, I buy each of them a bag of coffee beans. So far they have received beans from Ethiopia, Brazil, Tanzania, Kenya, Costa Rica and Nicaragua. I don't need a special holiday to buy coffee for my friends. I buy it, and give it, whenever I happen to be in one of the countries known for its coffee production.

Coffee beans are "the perfect gift" for these friends because they both love coffee. I couldn't even begin to figure out something else to buy that would show how much I value their friendship. Both also really love their dogs, so treats for the dogs are other "perfect gifts." And both like to cook with spices, so I have bought them spices from Turkey, Morocco and Tanzania.

That "perfect gift" doesn't have to cost $70,000. Maybe it can be something thoughtful yet inexpensive. Perhaps a gift of homemade food? I have a friend who loves my homemade fudge and cookies. How about a meal together, or a day trip to a favorite place? One friend who loves dogs is receiving a card noting that a donation has been made in her name to an organization that funds research in health issues that impact animals. Another friend is getting a one-of-a-kind photo calendar with images I took during our trip to Brazil this past summer.

The older I get, the more I resist the push to buy "the perfect gift" when that gift is a) expensive and b) often unwanted. I want whatever gifts I give to be personal, not some off-the-shelf, mass produced item. I want them to show that I have put thought into the gifts, rather than just ordering something online.

So this year, let your search for "the perfect gift" lead you not to the mall or to an online shop, but to your heart.