Make Yourself Happy

I want to share something that makes me happy.

This country has been torn apart by the antics of the current Republican administration. I have written about my dismay and anger resulting from what has gone on, and still is going on, in the U.S. 

But today I want to write a positive blog post. I'm going to write about something that made me happy, that made me feel good.

It's a long story, but a 7' tall artificial Christmas tree, along with two storage containers of ornaments, recently was returned to me. I didn't want it, as I know I will never put such a big tree up again. So I wanted to find it a new home, with the minimum amount of work on my part.

I know a local therapist who works at a shelter for victims of domestic abuse. I had previously donated a sleeper sofa to the shelter, so I reached out to her to see whether the shelter might want the tree. As it happens, she was just leaving to visit the shelter, so she checked with staff when she arrived. YES! They wanted the tree. That was great news. I also included more than eight strands of colored lights and two large boxes of ornaments.

When I talked to the guy who was going to pick everything up, I asked whether the shelter would like my 55" Sony rear projection television. It works great, but I had bought a larger set with a brighter screen last year. YES! They would like to have the television as well. And by the way, I asked, could they use a couple of women's jackets? One is a down jacket, the other a dressy wool coat. YES! They would like the coats as well. I also had a large bag of colored pencils that I donated.

After the fellow left with all the donations in his truck, I was so happy to have a) found a home where these items I no longer wanted would help others and b) cleared out my garage.

When online friends congratulated me for my good deed, I realized that while these donations helped others, they also helped me. Donating to the shelter allowed me in some small way to fight back against the hatred and the negativity that are consuming our nation. I'm sure many of the women in this shelter had to flee their homes with little but the clothes on their backs. I hope their kids will enjoy using the colored pencils to color and draw. 

We all need to practice small acts of kindness to peacefully protest the anger and hatred in our country. It can be something as simple as donating a few cans of food to a food drive, delivering dog or cat food or old towels to an animal shelter, or donating some time to a local charity you support. 

It wasn't the thanks from friends and acquaintances that made me happy. It was simply the feeling of doing something for others with no expectation of anything in return. It doesn't take a lot to make a big difference. And it benefits the giver as well as the recipient.

 

Wild Africa

I've been longing to return to Africa and reminiscing about an amazing 3-week trip to Kenya in 2017.

That was my fifth trip to Africa, and my third to Kenya. I was joined by a friend from Scotland and a couple from England, all of whom I had met the previous year on a trip to Kenya. The trip saw us visiting four different camps in northern Kenya, for stays lasting from four to seven days each. 

This adventure was outstanding in so many ways. In addition to seeing and photographing lots of wild animals, we went for a horseback ride in Borana. We were able to get pretty close to giraffes and zebras, as well as enjoying the beautiful weather. We followed a pride of 15 lions one late afternoon, with two of the pride's three adult males walking just an arm's length from our vehicle. We watched a beautiful leopard and her cub over the course of three days. She was totally unperturbed by the presence of numerous safari vehicles.

Also while in Borana, we were part of a group that replaced a radio collar on a lioness. Once she was located, a Kenyan veterinarian tranquilized her with a rifle-fired dart. After she was down, she was quickly moved into the shade, her eyes were covered and water was poured over her to keep her body from overheating. After the old collar was removed and the lioness fitted with a new one, the veterinarian collected blood and tissue samples. Then a lion researcher took a variety of body measurements -- from length of the animal's tale to the size of her paws -- before the vet gave her a drug to reverse the anesthetic. We had hoped to be involved with the collaring of a male lion the next day, but he and his pals were in an area too inaccessible to be safely reached.

I visited the David Sheldrick Wildlife Trust's elephant orphanage in Nairobi three times. The 11 a.m. visit is open to anyone, while the 5 p.m. visit is open only to those who sponsor one or more of the orphans and who sign up in advance. It was great fun watching the babies rush to their individual stockades at the end of a day spent in Nairobi National Park. Each baby gets a bottle or two of special milk formula, as well as freshly cut greens before being closed in its individual stockade for the night. 

I spent several minutes with one of my three sponsored orphans (the other two had moved on to the next phase of their preparation for return to the wild). Mbegu is now four years old and described as a 'mini matriarch.' While making our final visit to the orphanage, we ran into Iain Douglas-Hamilton, noted elephant researcher and father of Elephant Watch Camp's manager and wildlife filmmaker Saba Douglas-Hamilton. We had met Iain the previous year while visiting the camp in the Samburu National Preserve.

We visited the Maasai Mara to watch the Great Migration. Some 1.5 million wildebeests and countless zebra make this annual circular migration through Kenya and Tanzania.

I got to meet the student whose high school education I am sponsoring. She 8is Turkana, from one of the many tribes in Kenya. She was very shy, probably due to her developing English skills and the fact that females in her culture are expected to be submissive. She said that chemistry is her favorite subject in school. We learned that we both love Coke (she had had Coke only once before), and both of us have blue as our favorite color. The lunch that was served was entirely foreign to the students, and mine definitely did not like lettuce! Another sponsored student, also Turkana, visited his sponsors at the same time.

I tried some portrait photography with a few of the incredible Samburu people who work at EWC, although I would have liked to photograph more of them. The tracker assigned to my group, a young man named Skanga, was extremely cooperative and seemed to enjoy being photographed. 

This trip was a bonanza for watching lions, including males, young adults and mothers with cubs. We were lucky enough to see a lone male cheetah, as well as two different mothers, each of which had two older cubs in tow.

In all, I shot more than 9,500 images with my two cameras. Of course, thousands got deleted when I got home, but I still have some good images. The wildlife viewing was phenomenal, and my photography has improved considerably since my first trip five years ago. I won't get to visit Kenya again for a couple of years, but I hope my trips to Ethiopia and Botswana will be equally as rewarding..

A Change in Priorities

I have written previously about doing what you love and making time for yourself. That is something I used to neglect. But no longer. 

I have placed myself at the top of the list, something that wasn't easy to do. I am now my top priority. My physical and emotional health are my greatest concern. My adult daughter is a gambling addict who has cut off all contact with me and fled to California after stealing from her employer. She is an adult and makes her own decisions. She also has to face the consequences of her actions. I have realized that I have to worry about myself, not her. I wish her well, but there is nothing I can do to help her unless and until she seeks help.

Even as a retiree, I often find my days filled with obligations -- meetings with air conditioning technicians and roofers, doctor appointments (I have had a lot of those due to ongoing eye problems), grocery shopping, and veterinary appointments. Throw in the usual household chores such as dusting and vacuuming (a never-ending task with three long-haired dogs in the house and a dusty environment outside), and suddenly 'free time' becomes a foreign concept.

I never considered myself a very creative person, but I now realize that I am creative. I am a good writer and a better-than-good photographer. I often carry a small digital camera with me when I'm out and about, as I never know when I will spot something I would like to photograph. I am always looking for opportunities to join photography trips to interesting places. I went on a photo trip to Yellowstone and Grand Teton national parks recently, as well as a photo trip to Colorado. 

I love to travel, and I take eight or so trips every years, including several international trips. These trips allow me to indulge my passion for photography, meet new people and learn about different cultures. Friends have noted how happy I look while traveling.

I spend time talking on the phone with a very good friend in California. I do a lot of reading. I exercise every day. I produce photo calendars that allow me to share my photographs with others while raising money for charity at the same time.

Self-care is a difficult thing for many people, particularly for women. But it should be our greatest priority. Caring for ourselves doesn't make us selfish. It doesn't mean we don't care about others. But if we don't take care of ourselves, how can we take care of others? Remember those announcements before an airplane takes off, the one about putting our oxygen mask on first before helping others? That's the same thing self care does for us. We can't care for others if we don't care for ourselves first.

I know what you're thinking. "You're retired, so of course you can make self care a priority. I have a stressful job. I have little kids to take care of." I know, it isn't easy. But you, and those for whom you care, will be much happier if you can slip in a little self care every so often.

Life is too short, especially when we get old, not to take care of ourselves. So go ahead. Indulge yourself. Read that book you've been wanting to read. Take a nap. Get a massage. Embrace your favorite hobby. Visit that place you've always wanted to visit. Life life with no regrets!

The Presence of Absence

Last night I watched a program on National Geographic Channel called ‘Nazi Scrapbooks from Hell.’

This program explores the discovery and contents of two photo scrapbooks made in 1944 and 1945. Both were made public just a few years ago. One was the personal photo album of a Nazi officer implicated in the Auschwitz horrors. It shows Nazis laughing, eating and drinking with their friends and families. They are seen relaxing after a hard day of murdering Jews. One of the people interviewed noted that these people were not monsters, as much as we would like for them to be. They were average, everyday Germans who committed monstrous acts. The question is, how could average, everyday people do such horrendous things?

The other photo album shows the arrival of a trainload of Hungarian Jews at Auschwitz. Photos of scenes in the camps are extremely rare. I mean, why would the Nazis leave photographic evidence of their atrocities? One of the people interviewed, who is Jewish but not a Holocaust survivor, noted that the overwhelming sensation of visiting Auschwitz is “the presence of absence.“

That phrase -- the presence of absence -- really struck a chord with me. I have been to Auschwitz once, and I’m going back next year on a service project. I understand what that man meant. The feeling that is so predominant at Auschwitz and its satellite camps, and indeed at all Nazi death camps, is the absence of the millions of people who passed through the gates of the death camps, and who were murdered there.

The other thing that was absent was compassion, morality, humanity in the Nazis who were part of the efforts to exterminate all Jews from Europe.  From the cooks to the guards to the officers and the commandant, every single person who worked at these camps was guilty of crimes against humanity. So, too, were those high up in the Nazi hierarchy. Only a tiny fraction of the Nazis involved in the Holocaust was ever brought to justice. So there also is an absence of justice.

Let us not forgot the millions of Germans, Poles and Ukrainians who were, by their silence, complicit in the atrocities carried out against the Jews. German citizens wildly cheered the rise of the Nazi party. Austrian citizens welcomed Hitler to Vienna. Ukrainians were among the most feared, and most cruel, of the camp guards. Polish Catholics turned against their Jewish neighbors. Where was their humanity?

I cannot begin to imagine what life under the Nazis was like. Family members turned against each other. Neighbors turned in neighbors. Friends turned against friends. No one could be trusted. The risk of being suspected of harboring a Jew or of being a 'Jew lover' was instant death for the entire family. It must have been so incredibly terrifying for everybody.

But there were brave people who did step forward in defiance. Some were killed outright. Some were sent to the death camps. Many worked in secret, providing food and a hiding place for their Jewish neighbors. The finer qualities of humanity were not absent in those brave souls.

I see a growing absence of caring, of compassion, among too many Americans. People cheer and laugh at the woman who reported a sexual attack by the most recent nominee to the Supreme Court. People enthusiastically embrace the lies told by the president. A far-right radical drives his car into a crowd of people protesting against the KKK, neo-Nazi crowd marching in Virginia, killing a young woman. The president, rather than condemning the violence and the very principles espoused by the KKK and the neo-Nazis, claims that there are "fine people on both sides."

Our country needs to be very careful. The current administration is showing a decided absence of compassion, morality and humanity. The president continues his attacks on the news media. He has questioned whether protests should be permitted. He demands loyalty to himself personally, as did Hitler, rather than to the country and to the US Constitution. We have torn little children from their parents and locked them in cages. Congress is doing everything in its power to limit access to affordable health care. Verbal attacks on Muslims, on Hispanics and on women are growing. The president insulted the widow of a US military man killed in combat in Africa.

Americans need to be very careful about the threat to our freedoms. It is far too easy to remain complacent while the government chips away at our rights. Be vigilant. Make your voices heard. And most importantly, get out and vote next month!

DON'T LAUGH AT ME!

Hey, clueless people, didn't your mommy teach you that it isn't nice to laugh at other people's pain?

I recently posted on my personal Facebook page how upset and I angry I was (and still am) about the way the nomination of a judge to sit on the US Supreme Court was handled. I was upset about the way the president and others mocked and laughed at his accuser. I was upset about the president severely limiting the scope of the FBI's investigation into serious allegations against the nominee.

One person, a man I don't know well and don't particularly like, responded with the 'ha-ha' emoji. He was laughing at my post. After figuring out which of my 'friends' had laughed at my discomfort, I quickly unfriended him.

How dare he, a man, laugh at my emotional distress. It would have been wrong for anyone of either gender to laugh, but it is particularly egregious for a man -- an old white male -- to respond in this hurtful way.

I don't care whether he is on the other side of the political aisle. I don't care whether he thought my feelings were an overreaction or inappropriate or ridiculous. He could have simply ignored the post. But he chose to laugh at my obvious, and public, emotional distress.

Sadly, his response is far too common these days. Rather than saying nothing, he chose to laugh. What kind of person laughs at someone else's emotional pain? What is funny about reading about someone's hurt? For all he knows, I might be a victim of sexual assault. Would he laugh if his wife or daughter or granddaughter was the victim of sexual assault?

I never should have accepted this guy's friend request. He wasn't nice to me during a trip we both took, so I shouldn't be surprised by his reaction to my post.

I am not a radical feminist, but I am fed up with the women of this country (and around the world) being treated as second-class citizens. Take us seriously, you ignorant fools. Treat us the way you want  your wives, your partners, your mothers, your girlfriends and your daughters to be treated. Treat us the way you want to be treated. Don't laugh at us, whether you agree with our sentiments and actions or not. 

My dream is that I will live long enough to see these domineering, self-entitled elected officials swept from office. My dream is that their self-important supporters will follow them into oblivion. They need to be relegated to the dustbin of history.

Treat everyone -- young or old, male or female, of every race and religion -- with respect. Otherwise, keep your nasty words and actions to yourselves.

Moving in the Wrong Direction

American society is moving in the wrong direction.

Rather than continuing to move toward a society in which people of all races, genders and ethnicities are treated with respect, we are moving to a time of exclusion, derision and

Consider the following examples of what is happening under the current Republican administration:

• There is open hostility toward the news media, with cries of 'fake news' and exclusion of reporters from certain news outlets now an everyday occurrence.*
• Racial tensions, previously an undercurrent in our society, are more pronounced and increasingly violent.*
• Verbal and even physical attacks on minorities and others considered 'different' from white culture are not uncommon.*
• America's culture war between conservative and more progressive values has grown and deepened, leaving the country deeply divided.
• There is a growing chasm between the extremely wealthy and the rest of the population.
• The divide between the educated and un/less educated segments of society is increasing.
• Distrust of scientists and science is on the rise. Global warming/climate change is derided as 'fake news.'
• It now appears to be OK for supporters of the current administration to openly mock victims of sexual abuse and assault.
• Name-calling of those in political disfavor is commonplace.
• Environmental protections are being drastically rolled back.
• Christian fundamentalism is on the rise.
• The vice president and the secretary of education want to force the nation and public schools to embrace their version of Christianity to the exclusion of other religions.
• The country has taken a decidedly nationalist position.* The age of globalism is done. The current administration is pulling out of international treaties and agreements, including those with America's traditional allies.
• The president, a would-be dictator if allowed, holds constant rallies where his adoring followers give him the praise and adulation he so desperately craves. These rallies are reminiscent of the massive rallies held by Hitler some 75 years ago.*
• The president (I refuse to use his name), like Hitler before him, demands absolute loyalty to him, not to the United States or the US Constitution. To him.*
• The president has insulted the leaders of our staunchest allies: Great Britain, Germany, France, Canada and Australia.
•  The president also has stated publicly that he wonders whether any protest against anything should be allowed. More shades of Nazi Germany.*

Those items marked with an * at the end of the bullet point also were hallmarks of Nazi Germany. In Germany, it was Jews, Gypsies, the physically and mentally disabled, and gays. In 2018 America, targets are Muslims and gays. 

There have always been two (or more) sides to political and socio-economic issues. But now, calm, rational discussions of our differences are almost impossible. People on one side of an argument bear incredible ill will toward people on the other side. Insults and name-calling pepper online political discussions. As an example of the hatred tearing this country apart, one of the "very fine people" among the neo-Nazis participating in last year's rally in Charottesville, VA, drove his car into a crowd of people marching in opposition, killing one young woman. So much for freedom of speech. So much for freedom of assembly.

I have lived for six decades. I have never seen this country so divided and filled with hatred toward our fellow Americans. People who hold opposing viewpoints are not traitors. They should not be told "If you don't like it here, get out of the country." They should fear for their lives because they speak with an accent or wear a head scarf. 

Americans need to focus on what once made this country the world leader it has been. We need to focus on what we have in common with others. We need to join forces to boot out of Congress all who have lost sight of those for whom they work; they are supposed to represent the people who elected them, not the billionaires and corporations that bought and paid for them. 

I am fed up. I am disgusted. Watching the political drams, the behind-the-scenes manipulations and meddling with an FBI investigation so limited in scope it doesn't deserve to be called an investigation so the administration can rush through its nomination of a drunken attorney who clearly lacks both the morals and the demeanor to serve on the Supreme Court, has left me feeling nauseous.

America deserves better than this. It is time to sweep out the debris and the deadwood from Congress. Midterm elections are just a month away. GET OUT AND VOTE!