In Remembrance

Today, January 28, is NASA's Day of Remembrance.

This date is honored every year to celebrate the lives of, and mourn the deaths of, 17 brave astronauts who died while advancing the exploration of space. Also remembered are the lost crews of the Russian Soyuz 1 and Soyuz 11 missions, as well as others who died while advancing our knowledge of space. 

 The first loss -- Apollo 1's crew of Virgil 'Gus' Grissom, Roger Chaffee and Ed White -- occurred on Feb. 1, 1967, in a horrible fire in their space capsule as they were training for their upcoming mission. An electrical spark ignited the pure oxygen in the sealed capsule, which created an incredible inferno. The crew was unable to escape through the closed hatch. Apollo 1 was scheduled to be the first of NASA's manned lunar landings.

The seven-person crew of space shuttle Challenger, mission STS 51-L, perished when their spacecraft broke apart 73 seconds after launch on Jan. 28, 1986, exactly 30 years ago today. Commander Dick Scobee, pilot Michael Smith, astronauts Ellison Onizuka, Ronald McNair and Judy Resnik, payload specialist Greg Jarvis, and payload specialist/first teacher in space Christa McAuliffe died when cold temperatures caused a failure in O rings on one of the two solid rocket boosters, allowing pressurized burning gas to reach the liquid fuel in the external tank that powered the initial phase of launch. Although I didn't yet work for NASA, I remember exactly where I was when I heard the news -- at a post-op appointment following eye surgery the previous day. It's a day I will always remember.

The loss of space shuttle Columbia on mission STS 107 on Feb. 1, 2003, hit me the hardest, as I was a NASA employee then. That day is one that will forever be etched in my memory, along with the day President Kennedy was assassinated and Sept. 11, 2001, when terrorists attacked the United States. 

My supervisor called me early the morning of the accident, saying simply "We've lost Columbia." I knew exactly what he meant. I replied, "Oh, no, not again." Three words -- "We've lost Columbia" -- started me crying, something I do to this day 13  years later when I think about that awful day. I immediately called our news chief at his home in San Francisco, waking him up, and telling him the grim news. We started calling our public affairs staff and asked them to report to work. 

By the time I got to work, every phone in the office was ringing. Reporters wanted to do stories live from the NASA center where I worked in northern California. They wanted 'reaction' from NASA, so we began coordinating our response with NASA Headquarters in Washington, D.C., making arrangements with our senior staff to speak to the news media, preparing fact sheets, talking points, etc. But all that didn't matter a whole lot. What mattered was that once again, people had died while exploring space. What mattered was that we, the NASA family, was mourning. We had no idea at that point what had caused Columbia to break apart as it streaked across the U.S. toward its planned landing at Cape Canaveral, Fla. Commander Rick Husband, pilot Willy McCool, astronauts Dave Brown, Kalpana Chawla, Mike Anderson and Laurel Clark, along with Israeli astronaut Ilan Ramon, perished that fateful day.

Everyone was in shock. But we all pulled together to do our job. Our support staff called to offer to come to work to help with office tasks such as making photocopies and taking messages. Even one very pregnant public affairs officer showed up to help. I felt very close to that mission, as I had worked in the newsroom in Houston's Johnson Space Center for the first half of the mission, fielding media inquiries, answering questions, providing updates and arranging interviews. So when I was asked to do an interview with a local television reporter, it was all I could do to get through the interview without completely breaking down.

The American human spaceflight program is now in a hiatus, with the only Americans in space being ferried to the International Space Station via a Russian Soyuz space capsule. I would guess that few Americans even know there are Americans in space. Fewer still probably are aware of the NASA Day of Remembrance or the reasons for this sad day. 

Exploration of harsh and dangerous places is never without risk. The crews we honor today paid the ultimate price to push forward our exploration of space. Please let them never be forgotten. 

What Do You Think?

I am always amazed at the countries my readers represent, and how they tend to show up in groups. Right now, I'm getting a lot of visitors from the beautiful country of Ireland. For a while, it was Germany, and before then, Russia.

I should keep a list of the countries my readers call home. Most readers are from the U.S., but my blog has had visitors from France, Ukraine, Turkey, Gibraltar, Mexico, Romania, Canada, the Netherlands, Brazil, Australia, France, Moldova, Spain, Portugal, Indonesia, China, the Philippines, Kenya, India, Malaysia, Taiwan and Australia. I am always curious about what brings readers to my blog posts.

I get few comments, but it would be nice to hear from readers. Who are they? Where do they live? What do they do for a living, or for fun? Where did they hear about this blog? Are they regular readers, or do they just drop by on occasion?

Sometimes I get frustrated by the lack of response to my posts. Do people like them or hate them? Are the posts interesting, inspiring, boring or informative? I really do want to know what readers think. Has a particular post prompted you to take action, or to see something in a different light? 

I write because I love to write. It is a great way for me to share my thoughts and feelings with the world, or to blow off steam. I get great pleasure from crafting a well-written sentence, and from revising a sentence until I find just the right word to use. I have no formal training in writing or journalism, although my talent for writing was first noticed by an 8th-grade English teacher. I wrote for my middle school newspaper, and I later spent eight years as the communications director for a large California humane society, followed by some 20 years as a NASA public affairs officer, writing primarily news releases according to a specific set of criteria. 

Now I write for fun. I know that may sound strange, as many people struggle with writing, but it has always come easily to me. Ideas for my blog come from a variety of sources -- personal experiences or observations, things I read about in the newspaper or online, my family and my travels.

Whatever the source of my ideas, I truly enjoy writing and I would love to hear from my readers.

So as we begin 2016, I wish you all a wonderful new year.

Happy New Year! ! 
С новым годом!  
Szczęśliwego Nowego Roku!
¡Feliz año nuevo!
Frohes neues Jahr!
Mutlu Yıllar!
Щасливого Нового року!
Heri ya mwaka mpya!  
Bonne année!

Crackpots in Cowboy Hats

The title, "Crackpots in Cowboy Hats," is from a New York Times opinion piece by Timothy Egan. The entire column can be found here: http://www.nytimes.com/2016/01/08/opinion/crackpots-in-cowboy-hats-and-in-congress.html?smid=fb-share&_r=0

One of the great things about America is its public lands: national parks, national wildlife refuges, national forests, wilderness areas and other special places set aside to preserve nature and the plants and animals that live there. They are meant to be open spaces preserved for human recreation and as habitat for the plants and animals that call these areas home.

Unfortunately, a small group of crackpots has decided to take over a wildlife sanctuary in Oregon until the federal government accedes to its demands that public lands be turned over to local management. Wow. These demands are so ridiculous that they leave me dumbfounded. Why in the world would the federal government turn over public lands to a small group of people? What about the word 'public' do these clowns not understand? What about the rights of people -- the majority, by the way -- not included in the select group of fools that thinks it should be given control over public lands? They have no more right to take over public lands than I do. These lands have been set aside for the enjoyment of the public, not to exploited by a few numbskulls that refuse to recognize the authority of the federal government.

Unfortunately, this group of law-breakers is just the latest in a deliberate -- and growing -- gun-toting campaign aimed at seizing public lands and exploiting them for their private benefits, from grazing and mining to logging. I, and I would guess the vast majority of the American public, do not want public lands turned over to a select few crackpots for exploitation and their personal enrichment.  

Is it not enough that public lands are already leased to cattle ranchers for grazing, at prices far below what other ranchers pay to use private lands to graze their cattle? And at least one rancher owes the government more than $1 million in grazing fees. His refusal to pay, and the feds' refusal to either collect payment or remove his cattle from federal lands in 2014, is a major reason for the current stand-off. The current group of thugs, emboldened by the government's non-response to the last incident, is led by a son of the Nevada rancher -- the chief crackpot in a cowboy hat.

I love our public lands. Yellowstone National Park is my favorite place to visit. These lands, and the resources they hold, do not belong to us as individuals, as corporations or as special interests. They are there for the enjoyment -- not for the consumptive use, raping, pillaging or financial benefit -- of individuals or special interest groups.

I grew fed up with the attitude of many ranchers toward wildlife that might set a toe on public lands used for grazing. These misguided ranchers don't hesitate to kill wolves, bears or other 'undesirable' wildlife that might threaten their cows. So I have given up eating beef.

I know that federal officials are trying to avoid a confrontation in the current stand-off. They don't want to do anything to turn this group of gun-toting thugs into martyrs for their misguided cause. But how about doing something to hasten their surrender, such as turning off the heat and phones in the building, and cutting off access to the building by reporters and sympathizers? They should refuse to allow any new supplies to be delivered to the crackpots. But instead, they have allowed more gun-toting crackpots to enter the area held by these American terrorists.

Now ask yourself this: If a federal building were taken over by armed Muslims -- 'terrorists in turbans' -- or armed black men, would the response be the same? Would officials just sit back and try to wait out the invaders? Would they be offered safe passage back to their homes, as was done with the crackpots in cowboy hats? Would officials allow reinforcements to join the initial group of trespassers?

I think we all know the answer to those questions.

Forgotten Memories

I have been in the mood to get rid of stuff I no longer want or need. I started my decluttering by getting rid of a dozen or so old VHS tapes. Not only have I not watched them for decades, but I can't watch them due to a lack of a VHS player.

Next on the list was my four-drawer file cabinet. It is stuffed with receipts for large purchases, owner manuals, insurance information, etc. I threw out some 99 percent of my daughter's middle school and high school report cards, old medical reports and similar outdated paperwork. The next folder was labeled 'burglary,' and contained all the documentation from the burglary of my house in California in the late 2000s.

Since the case was closed once the insurance business was sorted out and paid, and at least two of the culprits were brought to justice, there was no need to keep any of the paperwork. But reading the victim impact statement I wrote, and delivered, at court really brought back the unpleasant memories. As I reread the two-page statement, the anger I felt at having my home and my belongings violated jumped off the page. The word I used to describe how I felt was 'pissed.' Now maybe that isn't a word I should have used when speaking before a judge in a courtroom, but that is how I felt. I described how I lay awake the night of the burglary, staring in anger at the ceiling, and how my daughter was too terrified to go to sleep. I spoke of the feeling of being violated, of wanting to wash every item of clothing the thieves had touched as they dug through my dresser drawers. I reported on the cost I had incurred for the insurance deductible, the time off work, the effort to find a value for every stolen item, and the cost of having my door locks rekeyed and an alarm system installed. 

Very few of the items were recovered, but the two miscreants (or their parents) were forced to reimburse me for the stolen items and the expenses I incurred. But as I said in my impact statement, not only were physical items and cash stolen from me, but so was my (and my neighbors') sense of security. We lived in a nice, supposedly safe neighborhood. Many of my neighbors were elderly; some of them lived alone. Their sense of security and safety in their homes was destroyed. Nobody could replace that.

I put a padlock on the gate to my back yard, had the locks changed on the doors, and had a monitored alarm installed. I did the same thing when I moved to another state. I now have a monitored alarm, locked gates, and three dogs that don't hesitate to sound the alert at the slightest provocation.

Perhaps I shouldn't have taken a close look at those papers. Perhaps I should just have tossed them in the recycle bin or into the shredder. Some memories are best left alone and unremembered.

A Resolution-Free New Year

It's January ,2 the start of a new year.

I'm not one to make a bunch of resolutions. I set goals for myself, primarily related to exercise and weight, but that's about it.

My biggest goal is just to be happy and to enjoy my life. I want to be mindful of my blessings, share my good fortune with others, support my daughter however I can, and get the most from the amazing trips scheduled this year. While I'm at it, I would like to improve my photography skills and do a better job of promoting my photography Web site (http://fineartamerica.com/profiles/1-ann-sullivan.html) 

If I can finally find a place with the kind of weather I like, affordable housing and mountains, I might decide to move. But so far that perfect place remains elusive. 

So those are my plans for 2016. The older I get, the more I focus on the present, knowing that how much future I will have is out of my control. Please, take time to enjoy this life. It's the only one you have. Don't waste it on pettiness, anger, backstabbing, gossip or any of the other negative things that can fill our lives. Appreciate the good things, let go of the bad things. Let those you love know how you feel about them. Get out and enjoy this beautiful world. And don't forget to make time for yourself.

I wish you all a happy, peaceful, prosperous and kind 2016.

Rediscovering Her Roots

I adopted my daughter from Russia the day after her 11th birthday. At age 22, she has now lived half her life with me in America. Although she can understand some Russian, her ability to speak her native language is quite limited.

Because she was older when she was placed in an orphanage, she has memories of life with her birth family, including siblings, cousins, aunts and grandparents. She also has many questions. I once asked whether she wanted to search for her birth parents (there are groups that work with investigators in Russia to search for birth families), but she wasn't interested.

Then last year she said she would like to do a birth family search. So I contacted a woman with a good record of finding birth families in Russia, in conjunction with a man 'on the ground' in Russia. We provided the requested information, my daughter wrote a letter to her birth mother, and the search began. Through the efforts of the brother of the director of the last orphanage in which she stayed (he is a police officer), we were able to get the address of the birth father. But no trace of the birth mother was found. She had moved and nobody knew where she was. The investigator in Russia also gathered some information about the birth father, who reportedly was still in and out of jail. But the search for the birth mother hit a dead end. 

Then a few weeks ago, my daughter was watching an episode of 'Millionaire Matchmaker.' The matchmaker herself was adopted and did a search for her birth mother. That prompted my daughter to start her own search, beginning with Facebook. And amazingly, she found her! The name, city and birth date all matched. My daughter used an online translating program to write a brief note in Russian, and a couple of days later, she got a response.

She and her birth mother have chatted via Facebook nearly every day since then, although the 12-hour time difference makes contact difficult. The birth mother speaks no English, but my daughter's online translator helps the communication. 

My daughter is finally getting answers to some long-held questions about her past, updates on various family members (several of which have died of heart disease, which apparently runs in the family) and at least a partial explanation of a variety of things her parents did that resulted in my daughter being placed in an orphanage. She also has learned that one of her great-grandparents was Polish.

The birth mother, according to my daughter, refers to me as my daughter's mom, so she is not attempting to reclaim that role. My daughter refers to her birth mother by her name; she calls me 'Mom." My daughter is showing great maturity in handling this sudden and uncomfortable situation. When the birth mother asked whether my daughter hates her, my daughter's response was that no, she doesn't hate her. After years of therapy and the act of growing up, she forgives her birth mother but will not forget what she did. 

I also have become Facebook friends with the birth mother. We chat via Facebook on occasion, but mostly about our dogs. But my daughter shares with me her conversations with her birth mother, at one point asking whether her talking to her birth mother upset me. It doesn't upset me at all. I am happy she is getting answers to her questions and that my daughter hopes to become friends with the woman who gave birth to her. My daughter's love and loyalty are with me. I just don't want her to be hurt again. Birth mother has said she doesn't want to lose my daughter again. The birth father has had little to say, and my daughter has shown little interest in communicating with him. This is a situation that will take considerable time to play out.

So this year is ending with a new beginning for several people on both sides of the globe. I hope my daughter and her birth mother find comfort in their budding friendship. It also has prompted my daughter and me to work on improving our skills in Russian, so we can better communicate with someone who appears to have finally got her life together and wants to get to know the daughter she rejected years ago.

Picture the World

Here's a bit of an unusual blog post: a photo from everywhere I visited in 2015.

January found me hiking on New Zealand's beautiful South Island, where sheep outnumber people! It was here that I discovered that despite my allergy to wool, I can wear merino wool with no problems. I also took my first helicopter ride, which flew over and then landed on Fox Glacier. I even got to walk around on the glacier for a few minutes.

                                                                                                                                               

In February, I got to visit one of my most special places, Yellowstone National Park. Some 4,000 bison call the park home. This herd is the only remaining herd of pure bison in the country. Other herds have been 'contaminated' with cattle genes. Bison are joined by a large herd of several thousand elk, as well as moose, pronghorn and mule deer. A variety of predators, including grizzly and black bears, wolves, coyotes, fox and cougars, help keep the prey populations in balance.


In March, I enjoyed a trip to Israel, including Jerusalem's Old City, the Western Wall, the Mount of Olives, Masada, Capernaum and the Sea of Galilee, and the Dead Sea. We also made a half-day trip to Bethlehem and the Church of the Nativity, now under the control of the Palestinian Authority. And we visited the place on the Jordan River where John the Baptist baptized Jesus, according to legend.

From Israel we drove to Jordan, where we visited the ruins of the ancient Roman city of Jerash, the capital city, Amman, and for me the highlight of the trip, Petra. And as in Israel, we visited countless ancient Roman cities, which continue to be wonders of engineering and construction some 2,000 years after they were built..





I wrapped up this trip with my second visit to Turkey, this time visiting parts of this large nation I had not seen during my first trip. One of the places we visited was an Australian cemetery, with markers for some of the ANZAC troops killed in the battle of Gallipoli. Many of the bodies were not recovered, but each soldier has a marker in the cemetery, just one of several in the area. Nearby was a cemetery for soldiers of the Ottoman Empire who had died in battle.

Lion track

In May I went on safari in Botswana, a country rich in wildlife. There is nothing like being awakened by the trumpet of an elephant just yards from my tent in the middle of the night! I got to watch elephants swim and learned a bit about tracking elephants and lions by following their tracks in the dust. I also got to watch cheetahs, lions, African wild dogs and leopard, and saw an amazing variety of beautiful birds.

From Botswana, I journeyed to Zimbabwe and Zambia to view the spectacular Victoria Falls. The falls are so huge they can be viewed from both countries. It was an interesting sight to watch a herd of wart hogs grazing on the lawn outside my hotel in Zimbabwe. In Zambia, I spent one night in a fabulous hotel reachable only by boat.









Then it was on to Spain to hike part of the ancient pilgrimage route known as the Camino de Santiago (Way of St. James). This was the most moving of all the trips I have taken. We didn't hike/walk the entire Camino, of course, just 50 or so miles of the highlights. I think I'm too old to walk the entire route, which takes just more than a month and entails sleeping in hostels on a space-available basis, but this was an amazing experience.

August found me visiting Yosemite National Park for a week of hiking and a day in San Francisco. It's a beautiful park full of magnificent, soaring granite cliffs, including the famous Half Dome and El Capitan. And of course it was a thrill to see the thousand-year-old giant sequoias. Can you find me in the photo?






In September I flew to Chicago to visit family and take a quick road trip with my sister to revisit places from our childhood, visit the graves of relatives and reconnect with our cousin and her family.

I was back in Yellowstone and Grand Teton national parks for a photography trip in late

The Grand Tetons from Oxbow Bend, Wyoming

September. The aspens were at their peak of color, the park wasn't terribly crowded, and the weather was cold at night yet pleasant during the day. We watched a grizzly bear foraging for food before beginning its winter hibernation, as well as a black bear and her cub, wolves and moose, plus trumpeter swans.

Sub-adult male  bears sparring near Hudson Bay.

The year's travels wrapped up in late October with a trip to Churchill, in far northern Canada, to view and photograph polar bears as they awaited the freezing of Hudson Bay and the beginning of the feeding season. The bears hadn't eaten for some 7 months!. Polar bears are amazing creatures, supremely adapted to live on the frozen tundra and ice.



This has been an amazing year for travel, with trips to many new places and a return to Turkey, a country with a centuries-old history. I have some outstanding trips scheduled for 2016, including a tiger photography trip to India, safari in South Africa, hiking in Ireland, photography trips to the canyons of the American Southwest and Costa Rica, and a trip to hang out with elephant researchers in Kenya.

2016 is shaping up to be a great year for travel!