You Don't Get to Do That

Recently someone I have known online for 25 or 30 years viciously attacked me verbally.

I have known this person as a member of three online groups centered around our common interest. But rather than communicating with me in private, she chose to castigate me publicly, ending her attack by telling me I need to find a good therapist. 

I was, needless to say, taken aback. I read her commentary twice, and then I deleted it. Public attacks are what the former president -- someone she criticized constantly -- did, and still does. This person has my e-mail address, as well as being a 'friend' online. I ended the friendship and have no intention of ever communicating with this person again. A day after the attack, I blocked all possible contact with this vitriolic person.

Still, a few days later, the attack still stings. And I still wonder why this person felt the need to attack me so viciously.

A normal person would have reached out to ask whether I was OK, whether something was going on to cause what this person perceived as my negativity. But no, he/she chose to attack me publicly and viciously. Yes, there is one thing that had me upset and angry. But in looking back at my recent posts, I saw only one thing that could be perceived as negative. The overwhelming majority of my posts over the past few weeks was photos from my trips to Yellowstone and Glacier national parks.

I could have publicly responded to this attack with a hateful attack of my own. Instead, I simply deleted it, and the person, from my life. I could have publicly identified this person in my subsequent post about the attack. But I chose not to do that. I could have hinted that this person has a serious drinking problem, but again, I chose not to.

Social media has, in my opinion and in the opinion of many others, been a major contributor to the rise in hate, anger and nastiness in our society. I won't play that game. I will not contribute to the nastiness I see online. I will not be part of the increasingly vitriolic personal attacks on people.

So I did what was best for me -- ending a 25+ year online friendship and ensuring that I will never be subjected to this person's hatefulness ever again.