Go Away, Please. Just Go Away

I am sick of modern life.

I am tired of passwords I can't remember. Don't reuse passwords on multiple accounts, we are told. Don't write them down. Don't use names or words or anything else that makes sense. Use a series of random letters, numbers and symbols, but do not write them down!

I am tired of incessant spam e-mails telling me how to increase my testosterone levels or "make it harder and longer" or any other irrelevant, disgusting thing. I would like to know which business I have dealt with sold my personal e-mail information. It is not unusual for me to receive 200 to 300 spam emails every day. The majority is ads that promise to make my penis granite hard or some similar claim, or to introduce me to "hot Asian" or Latino or Ukrainian or Russian or Arab 'girls.'

I am sick of all the calls to my unlisted cell phone number from someone calling about the warranty on my car that is about to expire. The car about which they are calling is 8 years old. I sold that car more than 2 years ago. And I am tired of the constant calls allegedly from AT&T telling me that my DirecTV account is eligible for a 50 percent discount. Sure it is.

I am sick of repeated e-mails wanting me to rate some purchase I made or my recent hospital stay. And how did the anesthesiologist do? Well, she put me to sleep and then she woke me up, so I guess she did a fine job. Or the request to review a package of dish cloths I purchased. What kind of glowing review should I write about that purchase?

I am tired of being ignored by companies from which I made a purchase when I write to ask why the company switched its packaging from paper to plastic. I am tired of businesses that never return my phone call, especially businesses with which I have a long-standing relationship.

I am sick of being hounded for donations by non-profit organizations. I recently received an appeal -- and the requisite reply forms -- wanting me to donate in both April and May. That's a new first -- wanting and expecting me to donate two months in a row. And my membership doesn't even expire until November. Let's not forget the incessant demands for money from Mercy Corps, to which I made a single donation 20+ years ago. The Sierra Club is nearly as bad. And the local PBS station constantly is hitting me up for more money.

I get it. Times are tough as a result of the pandemic. But times are tough for individuals as well as for businesses and non-profits. Maybe, just maybe, that million dollars-a-year CEO could manage to live on a bit less money to help the organization and the causes it allegedly serves. 

While I find the internet helpful and useful at times, it also has become a source of stress and annoyance. The same goes for my cell phone. I do not answer calls from numbers I don't recognize. My phone numbers are unlisted, and have been for years. Both are on the useless do-not-call list. If I order something online, I immediately start getting bombarded with ads from that company for additional products. The same goes for online petitions I sign. I don't want follow-up e-mails. I don't want to 'chip in' $7 to support the petition.

I just want to be able to do my online business as I choose, and not to have my personal information sold to spammers and telemarketers around the world. Why is that too much to expect?