This Is How I Thrive

This is how I thrive.

This simple sentence is on a 'frame' on Facebook that I used with a profile photo of myself standing atop a rock formation in Death Valley during a multi-day hike.

Hiking, being outdoors, walking, reading, learning, writing, photography and travel are the things that help me to thrive. 

I am fortunate to have retired from a successful career, and to have both a pension and Social Security income, in addition to savings. So I am free to pursue the things that help me to thrive.

And as I have become older, I have realized how important it is to thrive. I remember my parents and grandparents sitting on a porch swing or in their comfortable living room chairs, passing the years. Did they thrive? I wonder. I don't remember any of them having hobbies, although my parents used to get together with other couples to play cards. And my dad enjoyed hunting and fishing.

I realize that things are much different for my generation than for theirs, but I have the sense that none of them ever thrived. They worked hard, they raised their kids, they were good people, but thriving doesn’t appear to have been commonplace back then. My parents, for example, grew up in the years after the Great Depression. Surviving, not thriving, was the goal.

I also realize that I am very fortunate. I have two college degrees. I come from a stable family. I had good jobs throughout my career. I managed my money well. I am white -- something that shouldn't matter but it clearly does even in 21st century America. I had opportunities and privileges not available to many.

I want to make the most of my remaining years. The time may come soon enough when I can no longer do the things I love. Already I am dealing with a significant loss of vision in one eye. The other eye still allows me to drive, to read and to do photography. Both sides of my family have had dementia or Alzheimer's disease, which is something I fear more than physical decline. So I am doing everything I can -- daily exercise, reading, new experiences through travel, staying involved with current events, learning -- to keep my mind active and, I hope, prevent or at least to delay mental decline. 

The dictionary defines thrive as “to grow or flourish.” I believe that thriving in our personal lives is every bit as important as thriving in our professional lives. My goal is to thrive for the remainder of my life, not merely to survive. To help me thrive, I try my best to eliminate complaints and negative thoughts, as well as negative people, from my world. A close relative was a very negative person the last few years of his life. It was difficult to be around so much negativity. All that negativity brought me down. As a result of that experience, I have made a point of trying not to get caught in a negative spiral. I’m not a Pollyanna by any means, but I do try to find the positive even in potentially negative situations.

For example, one early morning while on a photography safari in Tanzania, we were greeted by heavy fog. My first thought was that there wouldn’t be any good photo opportunities because of the fog. But it soon became apparent that the fog provided some amazing opportunities for photography. The other people in the vehicle with me and I soon began voicing our hopes that the following morning would also be foggy. Sadly, it wasn’t.

I recently sent a small bag of coffee beans grown on the slopes of Tanzania's Mt. Kilimanjaro to a woman I know only online. She was ecstatic to receive this simple and unexpected gift. In her thank-you card, she noted that it arrived on a day when she needed some cheer. I didn't know what was going on in her life at that time, but somehow the universe knew.

I hope to thrive by following these principles. Be grateful. Live authentically. Practice forgiveness (I really struggled with this after being dumped by my husband of 24 years as he chased a true bimbo). Look for the beautiful things in life. Spend time in nature. Take care of yourself. Take responsibility for your life. Keep learning and growing. Spend time with people who lift you up rather than bring you down. Spend time doing things you love. Be generous and charitable as you are able. Do things for others, either as random acts of kindness (pay for the coffee of the person behind you at Starbucks) or as a volunteer. 

Are you thriving in your life?