Reading the Sunday paper today, my attention was drawn to the words at the bottom of an ad for Naturalizer shoes.
Be flexible.
Go lightly.
Find balance.
Move softly.
Breathe easy.
So, with apologies to Naturalizer, I thought this would make a good blog topic.
Be flexible. This phrase can refer to so many things, from being physically flexible (something I'm currently working on to aid my bursitis) to being mentally flexible. I see it as a reminder not to become rigid in our thinking and outlook. Be open to new possibilities and to new ways of seeing the world. Be flexible and willing to change your opinion about something or someone.
Go lightly. Again, the possibilities are many. Go lightly in the world. Don't use more than you need, whether it's water, energy or food. Recycle and reuse. Minimize your impact on the Earth. See the humor in things, and don't take yourself too seriously. Find your own 'lightness of being.'
Find balance. This is a wonderful life lesson. We should all strive for balance in our lives. Balance work with play, activity with rest, crying with laughing, social time with personal time. This lesson is a difficult one for me, as for so many people. Life in 21st century America doesn't lend itself to balance, so it requires a real effort to find and maintain a balance in life.
Move softly. Move softly through the world. Deal with others with respect. Minimize your negative impact on the world. Be firm when necessary, yet gentle. Think of the great people who have moved softly yet had tremendous impact: Mahatma Gandhi, Mother Teresa, Rev. Martin Luther King.
Breathe easy. This is another dictum that is difficult for me. It is difficult to breathe easy, but oh so easy to become caught up in worry, fear and the 'what ifs' of life. But as I have learned during the past couple of challenging years, "Nothing gets done until we feel the peace inside," to quote a friend of mine. Things will happen as they are meant to. Sometimes those things are positive, and sometimes they are negative. But our worrying and fretting about them won't change the outcome. Trust in your higher power, Mother Nature, or whatever your source of strength.
So, here are today's life lessons, courtesy of an ad for shoes in the local newspaper. It always amazes me where I will find the inspiration or the kernel of an idea for a blog post.
Sunday, September 19, 2010
Wednesday, September 15, 2010
Write a Blog, Feed a Homeless Dog
This blog post is a bit different from what I usually write about, but it's for a cause very close to my heart: helping dogs in animal shelters and rescues.
How often have you had the chance to help feed shelter dogs simply by writing a blog post? I've never had that opportunity, but right now, I, and all other bloggers, have that chance.
You may have seen the wonderful, moving commercials on television about the Pedigree dog food adoption drive. I usually end up with tear-filled eyes from watching them. "Don't pity a shelter dog," says one. "Adopt him."
According to the Pedigree Web site, more than 4 million dogs end up in shelters and breed rescue organizations every year. Pedigree created The Pedigree Adoption Drive to help shine a spotlight on the plight of these homeless dogs.
This year, the Pedigree Adoption Drive is raising awareness about homeless dogs by donating a bowl of food to shelter dogs for everyone who becomes a “Fan” or “Likes” the Pedigree Adoption Drive on Facebook. So far, more than 1 million bowls of food have been donated. This is a really easy way to help.
Now to the reason for this special blog post: For each blog that posts about the Pedigree® Adoption Drive through September 19, Pedigree® will donate a 20-pound bag of its new Healthy Longevity Food for Dogs to shelters nationwide. It’s that easy. And best of all, the dog food drive is not limited to pet blogs. So spread the word to all the bloggers you know! Once the blog is written, simply go to http://www.lifewithdogs.tv/2010/09/write-a-post-help-a-dog/ and leave a link to your post.
So that's why I am blogging about a different topic today. All of my dogs have come from shelters, breed rescues or off the street. I worked for a large humane society in California for 8 years. I have been a shelter and rescue group volunteer and I was a foster home for golden retrievers. My daughter puts in countless hours at a local animal shelter. So these animals have a very special place in my heart. Until they can find homes, I can at least help feed them.
It’s a simple way to help: Write a blog post, help a dog.
How often have you had the chance to help feed shelter dogs simply by writing a blog post? I've never had that opportunity, but right now, I, and all other bloggers, have that chance.
You may have seen the wonderful, moving commercials on television about the Pedigree dog food adoption drive. I usually end up with tear-filled eyes from watching them. "Don't pity a shelter dog," says one. "Adopt him."
According to the Pedigree Web site, more than 4 million dogs end up in shelters and breed rescue organizations every year. Pedigree created The Pedigree Adoption Drive to help shine a spotlight on the plight of these homeless dogs.
This year, the Pedigree Adoption Drive is raising awareness about homeless dogs by donating a bowl of food to shelter dogs for everyone who becomes a “Fan” or “Likes” the Pedigree Adoption Drive on Facebook. So far, more than 1 million bowls of food have been donated. This is a really easy way to help.
Now to the reason for this special blog post: For each blog that posts about the Pedigree® Adoption Drive through September 19, Pedigree® will donate a 20-pound bag of its new Healthy Longevity Food for Dogs to shelters nationwide. It’s that easy. And best of all, the dog food drive is not limited to pet blogs. So spread the word to all the bloggers you know! Once the blog is written, simply go to http://www.lifewithdogs.tv/2010/09/write-a-post-help-a-dog/ and leave a link to your post.
So that's why I am blogging about a different topic today. All of my dogs have come from shelters, breed rescues or off the street. I worked for a large humane society in California for 8 years. I have been a shelter and rescue group volunteer and I was a foster home for golden retrievers. My daughter puts in countless hours at a local animal shelter. So these animals have a very special place in my heart. Until they can find homes, I can at least help feed them.
It’s a simple way to help: Write a blog post, help a dog.
Sunday, September 12, 2010
What is a Real Mother?
What makes a 'real' mother? I started asking myself that question recently after my daughter, whom I adopted from Russia nearly 6 years ago, said something about her 'real' mother. She didn't use this term to hurt me; in her view, her 'real' mother is the one who gave birth to her. To her, I am her 'adoptive' mother. I prefer the term 'birth mother' or 'Russian mother' when referring to the person who gave birth to her.
When introducing my daughter, I don't say "This is my adopted daughter." No, I say "This is my daughter." The issue of her adoption arises only when necessary, for example, when I explain to staff at her high school that she needs additional support because English is not her native language. Most of the time, I don't even think of her as adopted; she is, simply, my daughter.
There is no dictionary definition of 'real mother.' I don't think it is possible to define the term 'real mother,' because it is a matter of 'just knowing' what a 'real' mother is. In my view, a 'real' mother is the woman who raises, teaches, nurtures and stands by her child, whether she gave birth to the child or not. Genetic connectedness isn't really important. My daughter's Russian mother didn't love her; she didn't care for or about her. My daughter suffered a lot of trauma because of her birth mother. This trauma still, and probably always will, affects this beautiful child. The Russian mother put her own interests far above those of her children (yes, unfortunately, she had other children besides my daughter).
I, on the other hand, have put my daughter's interests above my own, sometimes losing sight of my own needs in the process. I have sacrificed and suffered because of some of her actions. I don't blame her for the things she did that caused me such distress; she is like many other adopted children who suffered childhood trauma. And I'm not remarkable in putting my daughter's interests above my own; it is simply what a 'real' mother does. We don't think "Oh, my child's interests and needs are much more important than my own." We simply do what we know in our hearts is the right thing to do, as mothers.
I have to admit that I was hurt by my daughter's reference to her 'real' mother. If I'm not her 'real' mother, who am I? Am I a 'fake' mother? I am, after all, the person who has always been there for her, through good times and bad. I am the person who has battled with schools to make sure she gets the accommodations she needs, and to which she is entitled under the law. I am the person who drove around looking for her and who called the police and who suffered sleepless nights when she ran away from home. I am the woman who missed work to take her to the emergency room after she disappeared for several days. I am the mother who comforts her when she is sick or scared or upset, and who provides guidance and support as she navigates the turbulent waters of the teen years.
Don't these things qualify me, and not the abusive alcoholic who gave birth to her, as her 'real' mother? In the end, it doesn't really matter what term is used to describe me, because I know that I am the 'real' mother.
I am the 'real' mother because I am the woman my daughter calls Mom.
When introducing my daughter, I don't say "This is my adopted daughter." No, I say "This is my daughter." The issue of her adoption arises only when necessary, for example, when I explain to staff at her high school that she needs additional support because English is not her native language. Most of the time, I don't even think of her as adopted; she is, simply, my daughter.
There is no dictionary definition of 'real mother.' I don't think it is possible to define the term 'real mother,' because it is a matter of 'just knowing' what a 'real' mother is. In my view, a 'real' mother is the woman who raises, teaches, nurtures and stands by her child, whether she gave birth to the child or not. Genetic connectedness isn't really important. My daughter's Russian mother didn't love her; she didn't care for or about her. My daughter suffered a lot of trauma because of her birth mother. This trauma still, and probably always will, affects this beautiful child. The Russian mother put her own interests far above those of her children (yes, unfortunately, she had other children besides my daughter).
I, on the other hand, have put my daughter's interests above my own, sometimes losing sight of my own needs in the process. I have sacrificed and suffered because of some of her actions. I don't blame her for the things she did that caused me such distress; she is like many other adopted children who suffered childhood trauma. And I'm not remarkable in putting my daughter's interests above my own; it is simply what a 'real' mother does. We don't think "Oh, my child's interests and needs are much more important than my own." We simply do what we know in our hearts is the right thing to do, as mothers.
I have to admit that I was hurt by my daughter's reference to her 'real' mother. If I'm not her 'real' mother, who am I? Am I a 'fake' mother? I am, after all, the person who has always been there for her, through good times and bad. I am the person who has battled with schools to make sure she gets the accommodations she needs, and to which she is entitled under the law. I am the person who drove around looking for her and who called the police and who suffered sleepless nights when she ran away from home. I am the woman who missed work to take her to the emergency room after she disappeared for several days. I am the mother who comforts her when she is sick or scared or upset, and who provides guidance and support as she navigates the turbulent waters of the teen years.
Don't these things qualify me, and not the abusive alcoholic who gave birth to her, as her 'real' mother? In the end, it doesn't really matter what term is used to describe me, because I know that I am the 'real' mother.
I am the 'real' mother because I am the woman my daughter calls Mom.
Tuesday, September 7, 2010
A Dream Come True
I'm a city girl. I grew up in and have always lived in highly urban areas. Still, I have loved the outdoors for many years: hiking, backpacking, camping, outdoor photography. Being outside in the sunshine and fresh air is so important to my emotional well-being.
Recently one of my long-held dreams came true when I attended a talk by Stephanie Kaylan, founder of the Wanagi Wolf Fund and Rescue just north of Albuquerque. She spoke to a standing-room-only crowd at the Open Space Alliance visitor center. While Stephanie provided a lot of information and stories about wolves, the real stars were her two sidekicks, Hokshila and Bindi.
Hokshila is a timber wolf, a massive, beautiful animal who stands 6'3" on his hind legs and weighs anywhere from 117 to 130 pounds, depending on time of year. Bindi, a New Mexico gray wolf/coyote/Siberian husky mix, is much smaller.
I have admired the beauty, power and intelligence of wolves for many years, but this was my first opportunity to actually see wolves up close. Seeing Hokshila when I walked into the room took my breath away. He is such a large animal, and obviously extremely strong. And yet, his favorite people to greet were the children present. Hokshila wore a harness attached to a short, wide leash, and his power was obvious. As he pulled to greet people in the audience, he risked injuring Stephanie's shoulder joint. Yet he would sit on command and gently take a biscuit from her hand.
Anybody who still believes that wolves are aloof, solitary, evil animals is badly mistaken. Bindi, like Hokshila, loves people. It also is clear that these animals are attached to each other. When Bindi was taken outside for a bathroom break, Hokshila watched through the window, obviously missing his buddy. Bindi's best friend, however, is Stephanie's dog Hozho. He reportedly follows her everywhere and loves to just 'hang out' with her. Because Hokshila was grieving the recent death of his female companion, a new female wolf from a rescue in Oregon will soon join him to help ease his grief.
I have never understood how people can love dogs, yet despise the wolf, which is, after all, the ancestor of the dog. Wolves live in family groups; the entire pack helps raise the young. If a wolf is injured and unable to get to food, another wolf will take chunks of meat to it. Wolves hunt to survive, not for recreation. And when they hunt, they do so in a coordinated fashion, working together to bring down their large prey. More often than not, they are not successful in their attempts to bring down a large animal. Wolves prey on the old, the sick, the young and the injured. In that way, they help keep the population of prey animals -- whether deer, elk, moose or buffalo -- healthy and strong. Stephanie mentioned a study in which a researcher examined the femur bones of animals killed by wolves. Every one showed signs of disease. In addition to keeping the prey herds healthy, not attempting to take down a healthy animal such as a moose or buffalo drastically reduces the chance of a wolf being seriously injured by the prey.
After the presentation and a short break for Hokshila, we were allowed to pose with him for a picture, for a $10 donation to the Wanagi Wolf Fund. This was an opportunity I wouldn't pass up for anything. My daughter used my camera to take pictures of me with Hokshila, and I took pictures of her with him. Kneeling beside this very large predator was such an awe-inspiring experience. I had to remind myself that this was a timber wolf, not a domestic dog, around which I had placed my arm.
I was walking on air the rest of the day after meeting these wolves. I found it hard to sleep as I replayed our brief meeting in my mind. These animals, which too many people fear and hate, are loyal, intelligent, loving, beautiful creatures. Hokshila, Bindi and the other wolves in refuges cannot be released into the ever-diminishing wild, as they can no longer fend for themselves. Because they were raised by or lived with people, they have come to associate people with food. If released, these animals would likely either starve or seek food from people.
Wolves have been human companions for thousands of years. Because of the relationship that developed between wolves and early humans, we now enjoy, and benefit from, the love, companionship and service of hundreds of breeds of dogs (and even more mixed breeds). Rather than fearing wolves (remember "Who's Afraid of the Big Bad Wolf?", the evil wolf in "The Three Little Pigs," "Little Red Riding Hood" and "Peter and the Wolf"?), we should emulate their spirit of cooperation and concern for other members of their pack.
These magnificent animals offer us so many opportunities to learn from them. It is up to us to decide whether we will be open to their generosity, or whether we will continue to exploit them by breeding wolves and wolf/dogs as pets, most of which end up chained to trees, caged, abused or dumped at animal shelters when they mature and do the things that wolves do. Some people apparently see having a wolf or wolf/dog as a status symbol, although the vast majority have no clue what it takes to keep these animals physically and mentally happy and challenged.
Wolves have largely been exterminated from their natural habitat. Efforts to reintroduce wolf populations into a small portion of their former range have met with mixed results. Too often, they are hunted and killed by cowardly people who fear the wolf.
I have contacted Stephanie about volunteering with her rescue group. She needs people to help with all kinds of things at the refuge, including -- get this -- helping to socialize some of the wolves and wolf/dogs by spending time in their large enclosures with them! I'm still waiting to hear back from her, but I so hope I will be able to volunteer with this group. I've been trying to determine where I want to volunteer since I retired, and this sounds like the perfect thing for me. I love animals, especially canines, and I love being outside. And just think of the opportunities to photograph these magnificent animals!
I believe we owe it to captive wolves to provide as nearly natural a life and environment as possible, to treat them with respect, and to learn as much as we can from them. Hokshila, Bindi and the other wolves and wolf/dogs in refuges are ambassadors from their species to ours. Will we be receptive to the message they are trying to deliver, or will we continue to exploit and kill them?
Recently one of my long-held dreams came true when I attended a talk by Stephanie Kaylan, founder of the Wanagi Wolf Fund and Rescue just north of Albuquerque. She spoke to a standing-room-only crowd at the Open Space Alliance visitor center. While Stephanie provided a lot of information and stories about wolves, the real stars were her two sidekicks, Hokshila and Bindi.
Hokshila is a timber wolf, a massive, beautiful animal who stands 6'3" on his hind legs and weighs anywhere from 117 to 130 pounds, depending on time of year. Bindi, a New Mexico gray wolf/coyote/Siberian husky mix, is much smaller.
I have admired the beauty, power and intelligence of wolves for many years, but this was my first opportunity to actually see wolves up close. Seeing Hokshila when I walked into the room took my breath away. He is such a large animal, and obviously extremely strong. And yet, his favorite people to greet were the children present. Hokshila wore a harness attached to a short, wide leash, and his power was obvious. As he pulled to greet people in the audience, he risked injuring Stephanie's shoulder joint. Yet he would sit on command and gently take a biscuit from her hand.
Anybody who still believes that wolves are aloof, solitary, evil animals is badly mistaken. Bindi, like Hokshila, loves people. It also is clear that these animals are attached to each other. When Bindi was taken outside for a bathroom break, Hokshila watched through the window, obviously missing his buddy. Bindi's best friend, however, is Stephanie's dog Hozho. He reportedly follows her everywhere and loves to just 'hang out' with her. Because Hokshila was grieving the recent death of his female companion, a new female wolf from a rescue in Oregon will soon join him to help ease his grief.
I have never understood how people can love dogs, yet despise the wolf, which is, after all, the ancestor of the dog. Wolves live in family groups; the entire pack helps raise the young. If a wolf is injured and unable to get to food, another wolf will take chunks of meat to it. Wolves hunt to survive, not for recreation. And when they hunt, they do so in a coordinated fashion, working together to bring down their large prey. More often than not, they are not successful in their attempts to bring down a large animal. Wolves prey on the old, the sick, the young and the injured. In that way, they help keep the population of prey animals -- whether deer, elk, moose or buffalo -- healthy and strong. Stephanie mentioned a study in which a researcher examined the femur bones of animals killed by wolves. Every one showed signs of disease. In addition to keeping the prey herds healthy, not attempting to take down a healthy animal such as a moose or buffalo drastically reduces the chance of a wolf being seriously injured by the prey.
After the presentation and a short break for Hokshila, we were allowed to pose with him for a picture, for a $10 donation to the Wanagi Wolf Fund. This was an opportunity I wouldn't pass up for anything. My daughter used my camera to take pictures of me with Hokshila, and I took pictures of her with him. Kneeling beside this very large predator was such an awe-inspiring experience. I had to remind myself that this was a timber wolf, not a domestic dog, around which I had placed my arm.
I was walking on air the rest of the day after meeting these wolves. I found it hard to sleep as I replayed our brief meeting in my mind. These animals, which too many people fear and hate, are loyal, intelligent, loving, beautiful creatures. Hokshila, Bindi and the other wolves in refuges cannot be released into the ever-diminishing wild, as they can no longer fend for themselves. Because they were raised by or lived with people, they have come to associate people with food. If released, these animals would likely either starve or seek food from people.
Wolves have been human companions for thousands of years. Because of the relationship that developed between wolves and early humans, we now enjoy, and benefit from, the love, companionship and service of hundreds of breeds of dogs (and even more mixed breeds). Rather than fearing wolves (remember "Who's Afraid of the Big Bad Wolf?", the evil wolf in "The Three Little Pigs," "Little Red Riding Hood" and "Peter and the Wolf"?), we should emulate their spirit of cooperation and concern for other members of their pack.
These magnificent animals offer us so many opportunities to learn from them. It is up to us to decide whether we will be open to their generosity, or whether we will continue to exploit them by breeding wolves and wolf/dogs as pets, most of which end up chained to trees, caged, abused or dumped at animal shelters when they mature and do the things that wolves do. Some people apparently see having a wolf or wolf/dog as a status symbol, although the vast majority have no clue what it takes to keep these animals physically and mentally happy and challenged.
Wolves have largely been exterminated from their natural habitat. Efforts to reintroduce wolf populations into a small portion of their former range have met with mixed results. Too often, they are hunted and killed by cowardly people who fear the wolf.
I have contacted Stephanie about volunteering with her rescue group. She needs people to help with all kinds of things at the refuge, including -- get this -- helping to socialize some of the wolves and wolf/dogs by spending time in their large enclosures with them! I'm still waiting to hear back from her, but I so hope I will be able to volunteer with this group. I've been trying to determine where I want to volunteer since I retired, and this sounds like the perfect thing for me. I love animals, especially canines, and I love being outside. And just think of the opportunities to photograph these magnificent animals!
I believe we owe it to captive wolves to provide as nearly natural a life and environment as possible, to treat them with respect, and to learn as much as we can from them. Hokshila, Bindi and the other wolves and wolf/dogs in refuges are ambassadors from their species to ours. Will we be receptive to the message they are trying to deliver, or will we continue to exploit and kill them?
Friday, August 27, 2010
Blessings
I was sitting on the patio one recent late summer evening, watching the sun set over the Sandia Mountains. The day had been beautiful, considerably cooler than usual. The air was still, with just a hint of autumn. A few pink-tinged clouds streaked across the sky. I could hear neighborhood dogs barking, an unknown bird squawked in the tree, and insects buzzed. The world seemed at peace. Suddenly, seemingly out of nowhere, I felt very blessed. Like most people, I don't give much thought to the many blessings in my life. Instead, I tend to put most of my energy into dealing with problems, challenges and difficult situations.
That evening, as I sat alone on the patio, I realized that I am blessed in so many areas of my life. Although it took a while and I didn't get the price I wanted, I nevertheless sold my house in California, despite the terrible housing market. The buyer paid cash and wanted a very quick close, which made the process easier than usual. And best of all, I sold the house before the anticipated dip in the economy.
I have no debt other than routine monthly bills. I have a pension (a blessing in itself) and investments that should provide income for a comfortable retirement. I live in a beautiful house with wonderful architectural features inside and out. From most rooms in the house, and the back yard, I have awesome views of the Sandias. I live on a 1/2-acre lot, which provides both privacy and quiet.
I live in a state that offers so many outdoor, photographic, historic and cultural opportunities it's hard to know where to start. It has the bluest sky I have ever seen. There are no significant weather or environmental risks here -- earthquakes are extremely rare, and there are no hurricanes or tornadoes, just the occasional flooding or snowstorm.
I am in excellent health; my hip and shoulder joints hurt frequently, but otherwise I am in great health. I have medical insurance, which so many do not. My daughter is happy and doing well after a couple of extremely challenging years. I also share my life with two happy, healthy rescue dogs. I was able to retire from my government job at a good point in my career and with a buyout to send me on my way, so now my time is my own. I can drive to Santa Fe or go for a bike ride and explore rural roads whenever I want to.
I have benefited from a good college education and I had two successful careers, one as the communications director for a large humane society, the second as a senior public affairs official/manager for NASA. Both contributed greatly to my success in life.
I am blessed with smaller things, too. I have walked all the streets in my small subdivision, and I have noticed that my house is one of only a couple that have fully landscaped yards. Many have yards that are nothing but dust, dirt, boulders and sagebrush. My front courtyard and back yard are beautifully landscaped. My house is situated on the lot so it provides perfect views of the mountains and maximum privacy. It has lots of windows and skylights to let in the gorgeous New Mexico light.
I love animals, and we are visited frequently by roadrunners, quail and rabbits, and I have seen coyotes on nearby roads. My daughter, who shares my love of dogs, volunteers at a local animal shelter. Although I have not yet met most of my neighbors (it has been too hot to spend time outside), people are generally friendly, and often wave when they see me walking.
There are a few things I miss about living in California (mostly my wonderful orange and peach trees and the moderate climate), but I am blessed to be living where I now live. My life is comfortable, and I believe I am where I am meant to be.
It's good to spend a bit of time thinking about one's blessings. The past two years were extremely stressful, both physically and emotionally, but again, I was blessed to have come through them a stronger, better person than I was.
I know a therapist who frequently talks of being 'mindful' of our emotions and attitudes. I am happy to be 'mindful' of the many blessings in my life.
That evening, as I sat alone on the patio, I realized that I am blessed in so many areas of my life. Although it took a while and I didn't get the price I wanted, I nevertheless sold my house in California, despite the terrible housing market. The buyer paid cash and wanted a very quick close, which made the process easier than usual. And best of all, I sold the house before the anticipated dip in the economy.
I have no debt other than routine monthly bills. I have a pension (a blessing in itself) and investments that should provide income for a comfortable retirement. I live in a beautiful house with wonderful architectural features inside and out. From most rooms in the house, and the back yard, I have awesome views of the Sandias. I live on a 1/2-acre lot, which provides both privacy and quiet.
I live in a state that offers so many outdoor, photographic, historic and cultural opportunities it's hard to know where to start. It has the bluest sky I have ever seen. There are no significant weather or environmental risks here -- earthquakes are extremely rare, and there are no hurricanes or tornadoes, just the occasional flooding or snowstorm.
I am in excellent health; my hip and shoulder joints hurt frequently, but otherwise I am in great health. I have medical insurance, which so many do not. My daughter is happy and doing well after a couple of extremely challenging years. I also share my life with two happy, healthy rescue dogs. I was able to retire from my government job at a good point in my career and with a buyout to send me on my way, so now my time is my own. I can drive to Santa Fe or go for a bike ride and explore rural roads whenever I want to.
I have benefited from a good college education and I had two successful careers, one as the communications director for a large humane society, the second as a senior public affairs official/manager for NASA. Both contributed greatly to my success in life.
I am blessed with smaller things, too. I have walked all the streets in my small subdivision, and I have noticed that my house is one of only a couple that have fully landscaped yards. Many have yards that are nothing but dust, dirt, boulders and sagebrush. My front courtyard and back yard are beautifully landscaped. My house is situated on the lot so it provides perfect views of the mountains and maximum privacy. It has lots of windows and skylights to let in the gorgeous New Mexico light.
I love animals, and we are visited frequently by roadrunners, quail and rabbits, and I have seen coyotes on nearby roads. My daughter, who shares my love of dogs, volunteers at a local animal shelter. Although I have not yet met most of my neighbors (it has been too hot to spend time outside), people are generally friendly, and often wave when they see me walking.
There are a few things I miss about living in California (mostly my wonderful orange and peach trees and the moderate climate), but I am blessed to be living where I now live. My life is comfortable, and I believe I am where I am meant to be.
It's good to spend a bit of time thinking about one's blessings. The past two years were extremely stressful, both physically and emotionally, but again, I was blessed to have come through them a stronger, better person than I was.
I know a therapist who frequently talks of being 'mindful' of our emotions and attitudes. I am happy to be 'mindful' of the many blessings in my life.
Friday, August 13, 2010
Lost and Found
I've been feeling a bit adrift lately, and I realized that I have lost myself. This is somewhat surprising, since I feel very much at home in my new house and in New Mexico. I love the high desert, the mountains, the brilliant blue sky, and the local culture with its blend of Native American, Anglo and Hispanic influences. I've been retired for just more than 2 months, so one would think that without the daily grind of work, I would find it easy to be myself. Not so.
Since my daughter has been home (she got home a couple of weeks before we moved after being away for a year), my life has been filled with moving, unpacking, ongoing, repeated phone calls to insurance companies and service providers, and driving. So much driving. On three consecutive days one recent week, I made four round trips to take my daughter to the animal shelter where she volunteers and to volleyball camp. That was in addition to trips to the grocery store, post office, mercantile and gas station. Even keeping this house clean seems to take more effort than in the past. Dust bunnies proliferate on the dark laminate floor in the living room, and keeping things picked up is a never-ending process.
So although my days are busy, they are far from fulfilling. I've done a little bit of writing on my book, and I've written a couple of blog entries. I have taken a lot of photographs (this area is a photographer's dream), but what do I do with them? I have some good pictures, but they're all just sitting on my hard drive. I tried selling some of my images via a Web site, but after paying for the site, I sold not a single image over the 12 months the site was active. So my creative outlets aren't exactly what I had hoped for. Both photography and writing are highly competitive fields, difficult to pursue professionally.
I find that I am happiest when I am either exploring a new place or walking or hiking outside. I also enjoy riding my bicycle early in the morning, before the heat gets oppressive. School started this week, so I will have more time to myself. My daughter takes the school bus to and from school, so once she leaves at 6:45 a.m., the day will be mine until she gets home around 3 p.m. I plan to do a couple of fun things every week: driving to Santa Fe for the day, volunteering, hiking or whatever else appeals to me. I recently joined an on-line hiking community called All Trails, which I hope will provide me with information about local hiking trails, group hikes and other outdoor events in which I can participate. I'm also putting together a list of interesting places to visit within easy driving distance of home. Today I visited Coronado State Monument, which in reality is the ruins of an ancient pueblo near the Rio Grande River. I spent a couple of hours exploring and taking photographs.
So I'm finding that I really have to work at enjoying my retirement. As a newcomer to this state, I have to make an effort to get connected with others. And that is a challenge for me. It's so easy to just stay home, which I love to do. I have always loved being a homebody, and getting connected takes a lot of mental effort on my part.
It's also hard being a single mother. It's a huge responsibility, especially with a daughter who needs lots of attention. And with two dogs in the household, there are always things that need to be done: brushing, nail trimming, vet appointments. It's so easy to lose oneself in caring for the others in the family. Like so many other mothers, I put myself last. I take care of everybody else first. If there is time or energy left over, I do something for myself. But I am learning what many others have learned before me: I am worth the effort it takes to do something nice for myself. I deserve to have fun. I am not just "Julia's mom" or the person who drives her everywhere. I have qualities and talents to offer the world, too. And I deserve to be happy. So after feeling miserable and sorry for myself for 24 hours, I decided to do something positive. My first step was joining All Trails. The second, and harder part, will be actually going to a group hike.
I tend to do things in a methodical way, cautiously and incrementally. But I will get there eventually. I've been buying new clothes for the 'new me,' and I'm still thinking about where I want to put my volunteer efforts. Several things are possible: adult literacy, animal work, food bank, open space alliance.
The search for the real, retired me will be an on-going process of self-discovery marked by trial and error, progress and set-backs. It's always interesting to find out what life has in store for me, and what is just around the corner.
Since my daughter has been home (she got home a couple of weeks before we moved after being away for a year), my life has been filled with moving, unpacking, ongoing, repeated phone calls to insurance companies and service providers, and driving. So much driving. On three consecutive days one recent week, I made four round trips to take my daughter to the animal shelter where she volunteers and to volleyball camp. That was in addition to trips to the grocery store, post office, mercantile and gas station. Even keeping this house clean seems to take more effort than in the past. Dust bunnies proliferate on the dark laminate floor in the living room, and keeping things picked up is a never-ending process.
So although my days are busy, they are far from fulfilling. I've done a little bit of writing on my book, and I've written a couple of blog entries. I have taken a lot of photographs (this area is a photographer's dream), but what do I do with them? I have some good pictures, but they're all just sitting on my hard drive. I tried selling some of my images via a Web site, but after paying for the site, I sold not a single image over the 12 months the site was active. So my creative outlets aren't exactly what I had hoped for. Both photography and writing are highly competitive fields, difficult to pursue professionally.
I find that I am happiest when I am either exploring a new place or walking or hiking outside. I also enjoy riding my bicycle early in the morning, before the heat gets oppressive. School started this week, so I will have more time to myself. My daughter takes the school bus to and from school, so once she leaves at 6:45 a.m., the day will be mine until she gets home around 3 p.m. I plan to do a couple of fun things every week: driving to Santa Fe for the day, volunteering, hiking or whatever else appeals to me. I recently joined an on-line hiking community called All Trails, which I hope will provide me with information about local hiking trails, group hikes and other outdoor events in which I can participate. I'm also putting together a list of interesting places to visit within easy driving distance of home. Today I visited Coronado State Monument, which in reality is the ruins of an ancient pueblo near the Rio Grande River. I spent a couple of hours exploring and taking photographs.
So I'm finding that I really have to work at enjoying my retirement. As a newcomer to this state, I have to make an effort to get connected with others. And that is a challenge for me. It's so easy to just stay home, which I love to do. I have always loved being a homebody, and getting connected takes a lot of mental effort on my part.
It's also hard being a single mother. It's a huge responsibility, especially with a daughter who needs lots of attention. And with two dogs in the household, there are always things that need to be done: brushing, nail trimming, vet appointments. It's so easy to lose oneself in caring for the others in the family. Like so many other mothers, I put myself last. I take care of everybody else first. If there is time or energy left over, I do something for myself. But I am learning what many others have learned before me: I am worth the effort it takes to do something nice for myself. I deserve to have fun. I am not just "Julia's mom" or the person who drives her everywhere. I have qualities and talents to offer the world, too. And I deserve to be happy. So after feeling miserable and sorry for myself for 24 hours, I decided to do something positive. My first step was joining All Trails. The second, and harder part, will be actually going to a group hike.
I tend to do things in a methodical way, cautiously and incrementally. But I will get there eventually. I've been buying new clothes for the 'new me,' and I'm still thinking about where I want to put my volunteer efforts. Several things are possible: adult literacy, animal work, food bank, open space alliance.
The search for the real, retired me will be an on-going process of self-discovery marked by trial and error, progress and set-backs. It's always interesting to find out what life has in store for me, and what is just around the corner.
Tuesday, August 10, 2010
When Will There Be Justice?
I need to rant. I am fed up with cruelty, neglect and exploitation of the innocent and weak among us. The victims are animals, children and the elderly. There have been so many stories lately about absolutely horrendous acts of cruelty against animals. In far too many cases, the guilty party gets a slap on the wrist, if that. Courts have traditionally not taken animal abuse seriously, although numerous studies have linked animal abuse to such things as serial murders. Much animal abuse is considered a simple misdemeanor. Prosecutors and courts, overwhelmed with other cases, often are reluctant to pursue charges and serious sentences. The feeling that "It's just a dog" or "It's just a cat, or horse or whatever other animal" is far too prevalent.
Animals are not the only victims of human stupidity and cruelty, of course. Child abuse is another plague that is tolerated far too much in our society. A 2-year-old girl died in Albuquerque a few weeks ago after her mother left her strapped into her car seat for nearly 3 hours. The mother had 'forgotten' that the child was in the car when she took her 4-year-old to an appointment. Outside temperatures were in the mid-90s. The temperature inside the van? 135 degrees.
A local man donned boxing gloves and punched his 2-year-old son at least 15 times in the head and torso, at one point hitting the child so hard he flew off the bed. The boy suffered brain damage and was put on life support until his organs could be donated. The father waited nearly an hour to call 9-1-1. His explanation? He was trying to teach his son how to box.
A 2-year-old child in Concord, CA, was mauled to death by three of the family's five dogs when the child wandered into the garage where three of the dogs were. Where were the family members responsible for watching the child? As a result of their carelessness (that's far too generous a word, in my opinion), the child died and all five dogs were put to death.
I believe it is time for the gloves to come off and for people to be absolutely outraged that in a supposedly 'advanced' country like the United States of America, such things are allowed to continue. Punishment needs to fit the crime. No more excuses about how the perpetrator had a 'hard' childhood, or didn't do well in school, or comes from a dysfunctional family, or grew up 'in the hood' or whatever other lame excuse is offered to excuse the abuser's behavior. It seems that the more advanced we become technologically, the more primitive our behavior becomes.
I know that jails and prisons are overcrowded. But we as a society need to start dealing with these thugs seriously. No more probation or 'time served.' No second chances. Abuse is not acceptable in any form, and those who abuse others need to be held accountable and punished appropriately.
I have a problem with people who are intentionally cruel to animals. People like the man who left his dog locked in a cage, with no food, water or shade, in 100-degree temperatures for three days. Imagine the suffering that poor dog endured. Or the group of three young people who viciously beat to death a baby llama, apparently for the 'fun' of it. Those people need to face harsh consequences.
I know that the number of dogs and cats being put to death in U.S. shelters and animal control facilities has dropped considerably since I left my humane society job in late 1988. More people seem aware of the importance of spaying and neutering. But sadly, the puppy mills that mass-produce dogs for sheer profit continue to thrive. People out to make a quick buck continue to produce 'designer dogs' such as golden doodles, puggles (pug/beagle mixes), labradoodles and other ridiculous combinations while millions of mixed-breed dogs are put to death every year because there are no homes for them. And people willingly pay hundreds or thousands of dollars for these mixed-breed 'designer' dogs while others die.
Don't get me wrong; I have nothing against mixed breed dogs. My Mila is a Lab/beagle mix, and I have shared my life with several wonderful mixed breed dogs. My heart dog, Jackson, was a Jack Russell terrier/cattle dog mix. But purposefully creating a new 'style' of dog simply for marketing purposes is just plain wrong. I am not an animal rights advocate. But there is so much more to be done to protect animals in this country.
I try to live a life of minimal impact on the earth. I recycle everything; I reuse and I give away things I can no longer use. I drive a hybrid car. I walk or ride my bike on short errands. I am a conscientious omnivore, trying to make informed choices about what I eat and drink. But I am tired of the animals with which we supposedly share this planet being treated as disposable goods. Far too many people treat animals as either disposable commodities or as nuisances to be exterminated.
People purchase or adopt a puppy. The puppy gets no training, and of course it grows up to be a big, ill-mannered, out-of-control dog. The dog gets dumped at the local animal shelter, if it's lucky, to become someone else's problem. A lovely German shepherd puppy named Emily was adopted from the shelter where my daughter volunteers. A couple of weeks later, Emily was returned. Why? The family didn't have time for her. Didn't they think of this before taking on the commitment of raising a puppy? Are they that stupid??
People allow their female dog to have a litter of puppies "because she's such a great dog and would be a wonderful mother." Sometimes the animals suffer because of human ignorance. Other times, animals suffer because of human stupidity.
Albuquerque news media has been full of stories of stupid people causing the death of innocent animals. Example: A couple and their little dog go camping in a national forest where camping is not allowed. They store food in their tent. And surprise, a bear wants the food and attacks them as they sleep. The people were injured but not seriously. The little dog was killed and eaten by the bear. And the bear? It was tracked and shot by rangers for being a threat to people. This is a true incident that happened in New Mexico a few weeks ago. More than 30 bears have been executed in New Mexico for being 'nuisances' to people just this year. We take over their habitat, destroy it or build houses in their territory, then we get upset if a bear dares to walk across our property or do what bears do -- search for food.
Example: The endangered Mexican gray wolf has been reintroduced into parts of New Mexico, in an attempt to reestablish packs of these magnificent animals in part of their former territory. Recently, three alpha males were found shot to death. The alpha male of another pack, which was wearing a radio collar, has been missing since April. In the most recent case, a dead cow, also shot, was found not far from the wolf's body.
Wolves are the precursors of dogs. Millions of people in the United States share their lives with dogs. So how can these magnificent animals be so hated? Wolves are killed for 'sport' (something I will never understand) or because they are supreme predators and eat moose (a favorite object of hunters in Alaska) or occasionally cattle. So we should exterminate them? I just don't understand.
I feel so helpless when I read about yet another case of abuse, whether the victim is a child, an animal or an elderly person. What can I as an individual do to help? Fortunately, the courts seem to take abuse of another human being more seriously. But what of the 'lower' animals who are far too often the victims of human cruelty?
What justice is there for them? How long will those of us who care (and there are millions of us) sit by and wait for justice for those who cannot fend for themselves?
Animals are not the only victims of human stupidity and cruelty, of course. Child abuse is another plague that is tolerated far too much in our society. A 2-year-old girl died in Albuquerque a few weeks ago after her mother left her strapped into her car seat for nearly 3 hours. The mother had 'forgotten' that the child was in the car when she took her 4-year-old to an appointment. Outside temperatures were in the mid-90s. The temperature inside the van? 135 degrees.
A local man donned boxing gloves and punched his 2-year-old son at least 15 times in the head and torso, at one point hitting the child so hard he flew off the bed. The boy suffered brain damage and was put on life support until his organs could be donated. The father waited nearly an hour to call 9-1-1. His explanation? He was trying to teach his son how to box.
A 2-year-old child in Concord, CA, was mauled to death by three of the family's five dogs when the child wandered into the garage where three of the dogs were. Where were the family members responsible for watching the child? As a result of their carelessness (that's far too generous a word, in my opinion), the child died and all five dogs were put to death.
I believe it is time for the gloves to come off and for people to be absolutely outraged that in a supposedly 'advanced' country like the United States of America, such things are allowed to continue. Punishment needs to fit the crime. No more excuses about how the perpetrator had a 'hard' childhood, or didn't do well in school, or comes from a dysfunctional family, or grew up 'in the hood' or whatever other lame excuse is offered to excuse the abuser's behavior. It seems that the more advanced we become technologically, the more primitive our behavior becomes.
I know that jails and prisons are overcrowded. But we as a society need to start dealing with these thugs seriously. No more probation or 'time served.' No second chances. Abuse is not acceptable in any form, and those who abuse others need to be held accountable and punished appropriately.
I have a problem with people who are intentionally cruel to animals. People like the man who left his dog locked in a cage, with no food, water or shade, in 100-degree temperatures for three days. Imagine the suffering that poor dog endured. Or the group of three young people who viciously beat to death a baby llama, apparently for the 'fun' of it. Those people need to face harsh consequences.
I know that the number of dogs and cats being put to death in U.S. shelters and animal control facilities has dropped considerably since I left my humane society job in late 1988. More people seem aware of the importance of spaying and neutering. But sadly, the puppy mills that mass-produce dogs for sheer profit continue to thrive. People out to make a quick buck continue to produce 'designer dogs' such as golden doodles, puggles (pug/beagle mixes), labradoodles and other ridiculous combinations while millions of mixed-breed dogs are put to death every year because there are no homes for them. And people willingly pay hundreds or thousands of dollars for these mixed-breed 'designer' dogs while others die.
Don't get me wrong; I have nothing against mixed breed dogs. My Mila is a Lab/beagle mix, and I have shared my life with several wonderful mixed breed dogs. My heart dog, Jackson, was a Jack Russell terrier/cattle dog mix. But purposefully creating a new 'style' of dog simply for marketing purposes is just plain wrong. I am not an animal rights advocate. But there is so much more to be done to protect animals in this country.
I try to live a life of minimal impact on the earth. I recycle everything; I reuse and I give away things I can no longer use. I drive a hybrid car. I walk or ride my bike on short errands. I am a conscientious omnivore, trying to make informed choices about what I eat and drink. But I am tired of the animals with which we supposedly share this planet being treated as disposable goods. Far too many people treat animals as either disposable commodities or as nuisances to be exterminated.
People purchase or adopt a puppy. The puppy gets no training, and of course it grows up to be a big, ill-mannered, out-of-control dog. The dog gets dumped at the local animal shelter, if it's lucky, to become someone else's problem. A lovely German shepherd puppy named Emily was adopted from the shelter where my daughter volunteers. A couple of weeks later, Emily was returned. Why? The family didn't have time for her. Didn't they think of this before taking on the commitment of raising a puppy? Are they that stupid??
People allow their female dog to have a litter of puppies "because she's such a great dog and would be a wonderful mother." Sometimes the animals suffer because of human ignorance. Other times, animals suffer because of human stupidity.
Albuquerque news media has been full of stories of stupid people causing the death of innocent animals. Example: A couple and their little dog go camping in a national forest where camping is not allowed. They store food in their tent. And surprise, a bear wants the food and attacks them as they sleep. The people were injured but not seriously. The little dog was killed and eaten by the bear. And the bear? It was tracked and shot by rangers for being a threat to people. This is a true incident that happened in New Mexico a few weeks ago. More than 30 bears have been executed in New Mexico for being 'nuisances' to people just this year. We take over their habitat, destroy it or build houses in their territory, then we get upset if a bear dares to walk across our property or do what bears do -- search for food.
Example: The endangered Mexican gray wolf has been reintroduced into parts of New Mexico, in an attempt to reestablish packs of these magnificent animals in part of their former territory. Recently, three alpha males were found shot to death. The alpha male of another pack, which was wearing a radio collar, has been missing since April. In the most recent case, a dead cow, also shot, was found not far from the wolf's body.
Wolves are the precursors of dogs. Millions of people in the United States share their lives with dogs. So how can these magnificent animals be so hated? Wolves are killed for 'sport' (something I will never understand) or because they are supreme predators and eat moose (a favorite object of hunters in Alaska) or occasionally cattle. So we should exterminate them? I just don't understand.
I feel so helpless when I read about yet another case of abuse, whether the victim is a child, an animal or an elderly person. What can I as an individual do to help? Fortunately, the courts seem to take abuse of another human being more seriously. But what of the 'lower' animals who are far too often the victims of human cruelty?
What justice is there for them? How long will those of us who care (and there are millions of us) sit by and wait for justice for those who cannot fend for themselves?
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