Staying Sane In An Insane World

It's not easy to remain sane in this crazy country that is teetering on the edge of dictatorship.

It's a daily, sometimes hourly, struggle to maintain my sanity. Luckily I have a few things that keep me from going over the edge. 

Exercise is important. I walk each of my dogs a mile every morning. Sometimes I go for a walk by myself as well. I usually walk between 4 and 5 miles each day.

Photography is a great release. Yesterday afternoon the clouds in the beautiful New Mexico sky were fascinating, so I grabbed my camera and took a walk in the neighborhood. Looking at images of beautiful places I have visited is a wonderful escape as well. This morning I enjoyed looking at gorgeous images of Yosemite National Park.

Reading is something I have enjoyed since I was a young child. I still read a lot, particularly biographies and historical fiction.

I spent my career working with the news media as a public affairs specialist for a non-profit organization and for a federal agency. So I am a bit of a news junkie. But today's news is too distressing, so I limit my consumption to one local news broadcast and one national news broadcast each day. I follow up with something that won't distress me.

I recently started working on improving my diet, eating less and consuming more healthful foods. It's too early to tell the impact of this self-improvement project, but I have dropped a couple of pounds.

What things do you do to maintain your sanity?

There Is No Common Ground.

For years, Democrats have tried to find common ground with their Republican opponents.

But increasingly, Republicans have made it abundantly clear that there is no common ground. The recently uncovered group chat by a bunch of young Republicans made it abundantly clear that Republicans are nothing more than a bunch of racist, misogynist, hateful, sexist, anti-gay bigots.why are television reporters always looking at their phones during their reports

What kind of common ground is there with people like this? Short answer: none. There is no common ground. 

I have nothing in common with anybody who treats women like second class citizens, who is anti-gay, who is racist, who believes in taking rights away from women. I also find no common ground with anybody who supports a would be dictator. What possible common ground could there be?

Today No Kings marches were held in more than 2,500 locations across the United States, everywhere from huge cities to small towns. Many people are unhappy with the current regime and its disregard of our Constitution and our laws. 

I am not optimistic that's a current regime will do anything other than criticize and mock those who took part in these marches. I do, however, believe that today's March shows that the sleeping giant of Americans who love their country is beginning to awaken.

Sticks and Stones

Let's talk about words. 

As a writer, I love words. I love finding just the right word for the situation. I love seeing how changing a single word can change the meaning and sense of a paragraph or sentence. 

I once had an argument with a guy on a trip about the use, and usefulness, of the Oxford comma. If you're not familiar with the Oxford comma, look it up. He would not let it go. At one point he wold me "Why don't you just admit that you're wrong?" I told him I wasn't wrong and I wasn't going to admit to being wrong. 

The argument continued for two days in our van. What this guy apparently didn't understand, or wouldn't admit, is this: There isn't really a right or wrong answer. It's a matter of interpretation, preference and training. As a professional public affairs officer for the federal govenment, I followed the guidance of the AP Stylebook. We did not use the Oxford comma. There is no right or wrong answer. It depends on which style guide the writer is following. As long as it is used or not used consistently, everything is fine.

Now back to words: Here are some words that too often are missing in our country:

Respect. Kindness. Empathy. Generosity. Honesty. Helpfulness. Morality. Compassion. Thoughtfulness. Community. Serenity. Gratitude. Generosity.

Aren't these great words? Aren't these attributes those to which we should aspire? 

Apparently not. Our society as a whole is sorely lacking in these 13 attributes. Instead, we live in a society marked by division, selfishness, immorality, greed, hatred and many other negative attributes. We live in a country where the highest elected officials in the nation use their words in negative, hurtful ways. Name-calling and using hateful, insulting words are the hallmark of far too many so-called leaders.

There have always been Americans who personify the worst human traits. But today's America is awash with the worst among us. Why is this? Why do members of the ruling party not only fail to work to help those they ostensibly represent, but actively work to hurt them by slashing programs that provide affordable health care and life-sustaining food? Why do they take glee in shutting down the government and threatening the jobs of tens of thousands of federal employees? Why? If there is money for a new, unnecessary ballroom in the White House, why is there no money for food or for education?

Why do people celebrate attacks on Jews or on people with skin darker than that of the white men who rule this country like a fiefdom? How can self-professed Christians act in so many ways antithetical to the teachings of the Christ they pretend to worship?   

Remember the old adage that "Sticks and stones may break my bones, but words will never hurt me?" That's just not true. Words can and they do hurt people. They can and they do hurt nations. Words can inflect significant emotional pain, as anybody who has been bullied will agree.

How about if we all pledge to regrain from using words that hurt?

Time To Stop The Killing

Two years ago today, the Palestinian terror group Hamas carried out a horrendous and unwarranted attack on a music festival in Israel. 

Some 1,200 innocent people, ranging from children to senior citizens, were slaughtered. The terrorists chased people down, either murdering or kidnapping them. They snatched local villagers from their houses. Countless people were taken hostage. Although many of the hostages either died in captivity or were killed by Hamas, several are still believed to be alive.

There is blame for the ongoing killing on both sides. Hamas continues to kill Jews, while Israel continues to bomb hospitals and refugee camps as it searches for Hamas fighters. Caught in the middle are the innocent people on both sides of the war.

Some hostages have been released, with Hamas getting hundreds of its imprisoned fighters returned in exchange for a handful of hostages. Surviving hostages report being abused, starved and kept in dark tunnels. Palestinians were told to evacuate their homes, and are now facing a second winter living in tents. Food is very scarce, with starvation a real possibility.

There are no winners in this war. Certainly the attacks were, and are, not justified.  Muslims live peacefully in Israel. There is no need for the slaughter. Israel has every right to defind itself. But Israeli forces seem not to care about the innocent people of Gaza they have killed.

So many innocent lives have been lost. It is past time for the killing to stop.

This Country Is A Mess

 ... and the mess is inflected by the so-called leaders of the nation.

People are hurting. They feel abandoned and ignored by their government. The regime is sending armed troops into cities run by Democrats, so now people are being attacked by masked military and law enforcement.

The country's federal government has shut down, and nobody knows how long it will remain that way. Federal employees, of which I was one for 23 years, are facing fuloughs, unpaid work status and possibly firings (although the president has no power to fire them). Millions of Americans face the very real prospect of losing their health insurance or of it becoming too expensive to afford. Millions of others face the loss of supplemental food. Citizens are incredibly divided and angry. I am extremely stressed.

But I read something online that made me think.

I don't know the author of the piece, but it inspired me and prompted me to write this blog post. The piece essentially calls on people to change things: to hold the door for someone, to spread kindness, to offer a smile, to be nice to others, to be patient, to pay for the coffee of the person in line behind them, and to let another driver go ahead in traffic.

You might wonder why you should go out of your way to do these smal things. What difference will a smile or a bit of kindness make, you might ask. 

Let me give you an example. A friend of mine is currently visiting Australia, a country where she lived for more than a decade, and a country she loves. Her husband is making the trip miserable. He is a native of Australia whom she helped get US citizenship. 

She messaged me recently about his behavior. I sent a message to her, expressing my sadness that he is spoiling her long-anticipated vacation. She replied that she appreciated my reaching out. And again, she thanked me for caring.

Did my brief messages salvage her vacation? Did they change her husband's attitude and behavior? Sadly, they did not. But we never know who really needs that smile, that word of encouragement, that complement, that bit of sympathy.

I am a very private person. I'm not particularly friendly to those I don't know. I'm not good at small talk. But these things I have mentioned are easy for most anyone to do. Tell a woman you like her jacket. Tell someone she looks good in the color she is wearing. Pay for the groceries of the person in line behind you. (I did that with a Native American woman in a wheelchair once, and she -- and the cashier -- were stunned by this small act of kindness. The Native woman had just a couple of items, so I asked the cashier to add her total to my groceries). 

Random acts of kindness can brighten the day of the giver as well as the recipient. Please join me in sharing kindness. Join me in looking for opportunities to be kind and supportive. Our broken world needs more kindness and more compassion. Practice being full of grace and patience and umderstanding. These things cost nothing. 

But their value and their impact can be incalculable.