We Can Do Better

That's right. We can, and we must, do better.

An unmasked woman on an airplane recently was arrested for assaulting another passenger who had removed his mask because he was eating. Flight attendants are attacked on a regular basis after reminding passengers to put their masks on -- a federal regulation. Road rage incidents seem to be on the increase. Tempers are short everywhere. Car thefts, homicides and burglaries are out of control in the big city nearest to where I live. I now keep all doors to my house locked even when I'm home. If I park my car in the driveway for a few minutes because I will be leaving soon on an errand, I make sure it is locked. My car is otherwise secured in my garage.

I get it. We are all sick of this pandemic, which just entered its third year. Fortunately, we are now moving beyond the pandemic and are seeing an easing of many of the previous restrictions. Staffing shortages, from nurses to restaurant servers to truck drivers and pharmacy technicians, plague the nation. The list of items not available or in short supply, from food items to Christmas trees to clothing, continues to grow. Prices of nearly everything are through the roof. Disputes are settled with guns, just as they were in the Wild West. Throw in worry about the plight of the refugees and those still living in Ukraine as Russia attacks civilian targets, and stress can be through the roof.

Many of us are emotionally drained. But that is not an excuse for our lack of civility. I know that I have a short temper and I can have a sharp tongue. But those are things I can control, even if it often isn't easy.

I am out of patience and compassion for the willfully ignorant who kept the pandemic alive. I have no patience for parents who put their children's lives at risk by refusing to have them vaccinated. As parents, we should protect our children, not put them at risk.

I am making a real effort to be nice to people. I now chat with the grocery store cashier. I asked the guy at the UPS store if he had a good holiday. I wish people a good weekend. I take time to chat with neighbors I encounter while walking my dogs. I leave larger-than-usual tips for servers and hair stylists. And yes, sometimes I fail at being nice.

These are little things that take no effort and very little time. I am an introvert, so small talk doesn't come easily to me. But it really isn't hard. 

We are a nation of individuals, but we also are part of a greater society. We sink or swim together. We are meant to live together and to care about each other. Now too many people are out only for themselves. Murders, road rage, thefts, burglaries -- all have greatly increased. 

We must do better at caring about others. 

Don't Complain. Think of Ukraine.

It's often difficult to drag myself out of bed when the sky is still dark and the outdoor temperature cold. 

This morning was no different. It wasn't yet 5 a.m., and my dogs were still sleeping peacefully nearby. As has happened so many times recently, my thoughts turned to the people of Ukraine.

The sunflower is the national flower of Ukraine.

I sleep in a comfortable bed, warmed by soft sheets and blankets. I know each night where I will sleep. People in Ukraine don't have that luxury. Their houses and apartments destroyed by Russian rockets and bombs, they struggle to find a safe place in a subway station or bomb shelter, where they try to sleep on the hard ground. Their children are frightened, cold and hungry.

When I get up, I know that I can take a hot shower. Too many Ukrainians don't even have running water, much less hot water for a bath or a shower. My dogs are safe going into my back yard before breakfast, which I am certain I can provide to them. 

What will I wear today of the many clothes in my closets and drawers? Do I need my heaviest winter coat, or will a lighter one suffice? For many in Ukraine, there is no choice. They wear what they were wearing when they had to flee their homes, or perhaps they can choose between a couple of outfits they grabbed on their way out the door. Their children may have one or two favorite toys, dolls or stuffed animals with them to keep them company as they now live in a world turned upside down. Everything and everyone they have known in their short lives is gone. Dad has stayed behind to fight the Russians. Mom is always crying. Where are Grandma and Grandpa?

I can go outside without fear of being bombed or shot simply for walking down the street. When I see a beautiful red sunrise, I know that it is simply Mother Nature's handiwork and not the result of nearby buildings -- schools, hospitals, food storage depots -- set ablaze by Russian rockets.

What will I eat for breakfast today? Cereal? Hot or cold? Yogurt? Toast? Do I want it with butter, or with peanut butter or jam? Eggs? Turkey bacon? Vegetarian sausage? Waffles? Granola bars? What kind of tea shall I make? Perhaps, since it's cold outside, I will have a bowl of hot soup. 

I put my phone on the charger and woke up my computer. It's a given that the electricity will continue to work when I flip the light switch. Many in Ukraine have had no electricity for weeks. Imagine huddling in an underground shelter with no heat, no lights. 

I went grocery shopping on Friday morning, and there were quite a few empty shelves. But food, while expensive, is still abundant and readily available. I don't have to wonder where I will get my next meal. Thanks to the wonderful World Central Kitchen (https://wck.org), many in Ukraine and those who have managed to cross the border into Poland and nearby countries can get hot food. World Central Kitchen has so far served 1 million meals to those affected by the war on Ukraine.

If I need medical care, I can make an appointment and be see pretty quickly. The medical offices and hospitals I use are not at risk of being bombed. 

I am heartbroken every time I read about or watch a news report about the suffering of the Ukrainian people. And I am frustrated that I can do nothing to help from afar. I have donated to the united Nations World Food Program, which is providing food in Ukraine, and I will donate soon to the World Central Kitchen. I check in on my friend in Ukraine. I offer prayers for the people of Ukraine and their leaders. That is not enough, but it is all I can do from afar.

And now, when I catch myself starting to complain, I stop and think about those in Ukraine. Please join me in doing whatever you can to help.

Don't complain. Think about Ukraine.

Sometimes I Wonder

Sometimes I wonder what life would be like if I disconnected from social media and from satellite television. I have reached the point where the only television I watch, aside from local and national news, is programming that I have recorded. That way, I can fast forward through the endless, inane commercials. It also saves time. 

I stopped using my Twitter and Instagram accounts several years ago, and I don’t miss them in the least. And apparently nobody misses me either.

I wonder what life would be like if one day I stayed in my pajamas for the entire day. If I didn't take my dogs for their expected morning walk. If I didn't worry about cleaning the house, an endless chore in this dusty environment.

The only time I don't walk my dogs is if I am very sick, which almost never happens. Their daily walk and their meals are the highlights of their day, so I can’t disappoint them. If temperatures are too cold for me, I will wait a while and walk them later when it’s a bit warmer.

Some days the news -- whether it's endless coverage of the Covid pandemic in the US or the invasion of Ukraine by Russia -- is simply more than I can bear. I worked with the news media for many years as a public affairs specialist for the federal government and for a humane society in California. i like to stay informed, and I will admit to being a bit of a news junky. I listen to BBC news in my car when I’m running errands.in the morning, shortly after I get out of bed, and I listen to the news on NPR.

Now I turn my cell phone off in the evening every day. The same goes for my tablet, and my computer sits unused. 

I am old enough to remember life before instant everything -- news, messages, directions, you name it. While I appreciate being able to get information about directions or store opening times while away from my computer, I often feel there is too much information. I know, just because it's available doesn't mean I have to access it. And that's the point: I often don't access it until I need to. Whatever it is can wait. Just because I get an e-mail or a text message doesn't mandate that I have to read and act on it immediately. 

Sometimes when I’m traveling, I don’t have access to the Internet or the news, and after a couple of days of adjustment, I don’t miss it. In fact, I think stepping back from all the stress and pressure and instant everything is a healthy thing to do.

You might give it a try. It’s not as difficult as you might think.

A Reality Check ... Or Quit Your Whining

The heart-wrenching situation in Ukraine should be a wonderful reminder of the many blessings most of us enjoy.

Appalled by the high cost of groceries? Yes, grocery prices are ridiculous, and create a real hardship for the working poor and for senior citizens on fixed incomes. But we can help by supporting our local food banks. I donate to Road Runner Food Bank and to Meals on Wheels, which delivers complete meals to homebound seniors. The people who are under attack in Ukraine, afraid to venture outside their homes and who face empty grocery store shelves, aren't so fortunate. There are organizations rushing aid to these people. I have donated to the United Nations World Food Program, and my sister donated to celebrity chef Jose Andres's World Central Kitchen (www.wck.org).

Don't like the high price of gasoline in the US? Consider that despite the recent price spikes, we still pay less for a gallon of gasoline than do people in most countries. Norwegians are paying $10.675 for a gallon of gasoline. There is no way to help people pay for gasoline for their vehicles, unfortunately.  Meanwhile, oil companies continue to gouge consumers and rake in record profits.

Don't like the cold weather where you live (this is a big one for me)? Be thankful that you have a warm, safe place to live that isn't being bombed. Many in Ukraine don't have a safe or warm place to live. Imagine living in a concrete basement or subway station, with your frightened children nearby.

Not sure about what to wear today? At least you have a variety of clothing, coats and shoes from which to choose. Millions who have fled or are trying to flee Ukraine have only the few items they were able to wear or carry with them in a small suitcase.

Your kids are bored at home? Imagine being a child whose home has been shelled and who was forced to leave while clutching a single teddy bear or doll. 

Is your dog or your cat or your rabbit safe and well fed? Look at all the people in Ukraine who are fleeing for their lives yet still taking their animal companions with them. I saw a picture today of a woman in Ukraine carrying her elderly German Shepherd dog over her shoulder as they evacuated to safety.

You haven't seen your husband or family today? Imagine saying goodbye to your husband or boyfriend at the border. You cross to safety, while he returns home to join the fight against the invading army. You don't know whether your loved one is even alive.

You're upset because you can't get an appointment with your doctor for a few weeks? Or you need to take your sick child to the doctor, but you're too frightened to leave the shelter and take her for life-saving treatment. Or the hospital has been destroyed by Russian bombs. Now what do you do?

When you flip the light switch, do the lights come on? Does your furnace run? Does your microwave work? If this happens, consider yourselves lucky people. Ukrainians don’t have those luxuries.

If you get thirsty, can you turn on the tap and get a glass of water? Can you do laundry? Can you take a hot shower or a bath when you want to? The victims of this war in Ukraine don’t have that option.

If you have a safe, warm, dry place to sleep. If you know where you will get your next meal. If you have warm clothes. If your children are safe and happy. If you don't have to face bombs and gunfire on a regular basis ... quit complaining. Count your blessings. i know that this situation in Ukraine has made me more grateful. When I find myself complaining about the cold or the wind or an incoming winter storm, I stop myself and appreciate the fact that i can escape into my warm house, make food for myself, feed my dogs, take a hot shower and turn on the lights -- something so many in Ukraine as simply unable to do.

And please try to help the millions who are grateful to still be alive in the midst of an unprovoked war and immeasurable suffering.

За что?

За что? За что?

For what? For what?

These were the words spoken by an older Ukrainian woman (speaking Russian) to an American television reporter about the ongoing destruction of Ukraine and its civilians by an invading Russian army. She explained that she had lost everything -- her home, her belongings, everything she owned. She, and millions like her, have fled the war -- or are attempting to flee despite the fact Russia blew up the rail line that had been taking people to safety in nearby countries. Some 600,000 have been evacuated so far. Men between 16 and 60 years old were forced to stay behind and fight. Some 3,000 men from other countries have gone to Ukraine to take up arms against the invaders.

People around the world are asking the same question: For what is Russia destroying Ukraine, an eastern European country about the size of the state of Texas. Russian president, Vladimir Putin, claims his huge nation (one that spans 17 time zones) doesn't feel safe with Ukraine on its western border. He claims to be protecting Russian-speaking people from genocide inside Ukraine (there has been no genocide in the country since World War II) and to remove a "Nazi" government. Nothing could be further from the truth, as Ukraine, since its escape from the former Soviet Union, has been a free country with a democratically elected government. Ukraine's president, Volodymyr Zelensky, is Jewish -- something that would have been impossible under a Nazi regime. And Zelensky‘s native language is — surprise – – Russian!

So does Russia yearn to take over the vast mineral riches or Ukraine? The country does have very rich reserves of coal, iron ore, natural gas, manganese, salt, oil, graphite, sulfur, kaolin, titanium, nickel, magnesium, timber and mercury. That may be part of the issue, but my guess is that the diminutive Putin is trying to reconstitute the former Soviet Union and gain glory for himself.

But the little man has seriously miscalculated the resolve and fighting spirit of Ukrainians. The invasion hasn't gone nearly as quickly as Putin and his band of goons expected. Civilians have joined the fight, using whatever weapons they can get and lining up to learn to make Molotov cocktails. A 40-mile-long caravan of tanks and armored personnel carriers has stalled on the outskirts of the Ukrainian capital, Kyiv, as it ran out of fuel.

I know a woman who lives in Ukraine. She reports that she is frightened, but when I asked whether she planned to leave Ukraine, she said "No, we didn't run. That's my home." 

It is so frustrating to sit on the sidelines, helpless, and unable to do anything to help. I did make a donation to the United Nations World Food Program to help provide food to those inside Ukraine. But really, that’s about all I can do.

May the gods – – which ever one or several in which you believe – – help us all.