One thing I learned during a recent photography trip, which isn't about photography at all, is that age is really taking a toll on me.
I had to skip, or rather I chose to skip, some of the walks to waterfalls because I felt like the walk was just too strenuous for me. Walking across, and trying to balance on, rocks while going downhill, isn't anything I'm comfortable with. I am not willing to risk a tumble and possibly a broken bone just to get a nice shot.
In my mind, I'm still a fit and healthy person. And compared with many people my age, I really am a fit and healthy person.
But my balance isn't what it used to be. And along with that has come a loss of confidence. If I'm not confident that I can complete the hike safely, I'm not going.
It's difficult to accept the fact that I have finally reached a point in my life where there are things I'm just not comfortable doing. I hate to forgo an opportunity to see and photograph something beautiful, but it isn't worth injuring myself. And my decision was confirmed as the prudent one by other photographers who completed the hike when they noted that in one case, the rocks were covered with a slippery moss. Still, the local guide made a disparaging comment (reported to me later by another member of the group) that he couldn't understand why people would travel across the globe and then not take part in all of the hikes. The guide in question is an active duty member of his nation's military, considerably younger than I am, and a lot more fit. I wasn't the only person to skip a few outings. It doesn't matter why some people didn't go on every outing. Maybe they were tired and wanted to sleep later. Maybe they had an injury. It doesn't really matter. Going or not going -- it was their/my choice.
It's difficult enough knowing that I'm not the person I used to be, a person who completed the hilly, 26.2 mile San Francisco marathon. I don't need to know about disparaging comments from a younger man and active duty soldier.
The person who reported the comment to me said she replied that the trip was rated a level 1, and that some of the hikes were not level 1. She said people chose a level 1 trip because they were not able or were uncomfortable doing a more challenging trip.
Still, the experience made me realize in a very real way that physically at least, I'm no longer a young person.